November 2008 Weddings
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Silly pointless question

What do you call your MIL? Either to her face or to your DH.

Mom? First Name? Mrs. so and so?

Re: Silly pointless question

  • Her first name.  She and FIL told me to do that when I met them when we were first dating. 

    To DH "Your mom"

    imageLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I call her by her first name.  She's DH's step-mom, and she came into the picture later in his life so he feels very weird about calling her "mom."  I think in general I'd feel kind of odd calling my MIL (in any instance) mom, so it's partially due to my feeling and also my not wanting to hurt DH that I just call her by her first name instead.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • To her I use her first name and to DH I use "your mom".
  • I call her her name to DH and to her face.  I call her"mom" infront of their extended family because they are a little more conservative.
    Anniversary BabyFruit Ticker
  • I call her by her first name. His parents actually asked me about it around Christmas after spending the day with J?s cousins. His cousin?s wife calls his parents mom and dad, but I just couldn?t do it. I love them, but more like an aunt or uncle I guess. And we have such different beliefs, it?s hard sometimes for them to feel like immediate family. I say ?your mom? to J. He does the same with my parents (except as a joke we both refer to my parents as Jim and Deb).
  • To her face: MIL- "her name" SMIL- "her name"

    To DH: MIL- "your mom" or "your egg donor" SMIL- "her name"

    The crazy thing is My mom, DH's mom, & DH's step mom ALL have the SAME name. Our poor kids are gonna be so confused...lol

     

  • I call MIL "Ma" to her face. Since dh and I started dating in high school, I used to call her Mrs. Lastname. When we got engaged she asked me what I would call her and FIL and wanted me to call them mom/dad. I felt too weird calling her Mom, so I call her Ma. It feels a little less personal. I call FIL dad.

    I call MIL and FIL "Your Mom" and "Your Dad" when taling to DH.

  • MIL is 78, so it's weird for me to call her by her first name, but I do.  I also toss in Mom every so often.  The kids call her Grandma J.... and I tend to say that-not to her face...  with DH-your mom or J...
  • DH's mom passed away when he was 15.

    I call SMIL by her name, and so does DH- he's not very close to her.

  • I'm glad to know I am not alone.  It is a big thing down here in the swamps of LA to call your MIL "Mom".  I have an ex whos mother I refer to as Mom and she is like my second mother to me.  To this day, that is what I call her.  I toy so much with what to call monster in law.  D's whole family calls her "Mother". Which I think is just plain weird and stuffy. Then again, she is so I shouldnt be surprised.  I actually find myself trying to not call her anything and just slipping words in here and there.  I go back and forth between Jan... and Miss Jan...usually going with the later.
  • As much as she would love me to call her 'mom,' I just can't. I call her firstname to her face and 'your mom' to DH. She calls herself 'nana' when she's talking about our cats Confused We both call SMIL firstname to her face and to each other.
  • imageOo KrisTy oO:
    As much as she would love me to call her 'mom,' I just can't. I call her firstname to her face and 'your mom' to DH. She calls herself 'nana' when she's talking about our cats Confused We both call SMIL firstname to her face and to each other.

    This.  MIL really wants me to call her mom and I cant, I dont even call my own mother mom. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I call MIL by her first name.  I'd feel too weird calling her "mom" or any variation... and it would send my mother through the roof. 
  • imageKarrey31:
    I'm glad to know I am not alone.  It is a big thing down here in the swamps of LA to call your MIL "Mom".  I have an ex whos mother I refer to as Mom and she is like my second mother to me.  To this day, that is what I call her.  I toy so much with what to call monster in law.  D's whole family calls her "Mother". Which I think is just plain weird and stuffy. Then again, she is so I shouldnt be surprised.  I actually find myself trying to not call her anything and just slipping words in here and there.  I go back and forth between Jan... and Miss Jan...usually going with the later.

    It is a pretty southern thing to call your ILs by some form of mom or dad.  I couldn't do that.  My mom and dad are the only ones I can think of in that way.  Some of my close friends who I spent a lot of time with their families we called Mom Last Name or Mom First Name. 
    I would feel very weird calling my ILs mom/dad.  We just don't have that kind of relationship.  And I think it would hurt my mom and dad's feelings. 

    imageLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I actually don't call her anything to be honest. I just look at her and talk and that seems to work. I'm not confortable calling her any form of "mom" and Mrs "V" seems so formal.
    Whether or not you find your own way, you're bound to find some way. If you happen to find my way, please return it, as it was lost years ago. I imagine by now it's quite rusty.”
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I mostly go with a hun or dear to avoid this.  I call her "your mom" to DH obviously. 

     I really love my MIL and will tell her that on the phone - we end most of our convos with a quick "love you!"  But I don't feel comfy calling her Mom yet.  Now its great b/c I can call her "Grandma" when Hunter's there which solves the problem well. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I call her by her first name.

    DH calls my mom Mrs. G*****.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • I don't call them anything really unless I have to, then its their first names.  MIL went from referring to themselves as J&B when they signed birthday cards to mom and dad as soon as P and I got married.  I found that tacky mostly because she still signs stuff to her son in law as J&B because she doesn't like him.

    To P I refer to them as "your mom" and your dad. 

    Ironically I have no problem calling my best friends parents mom and dad.

  • I call MIL and FIL by their first names.  When I first met them I called them Mr. and Mrs. T and got a rash of ish for it (in a nice way), they do not like being called that and requested I call them by their first names.

    When talking to M it's "your Mom" "your Dad".  However, SIL's FI calls them Mom and Pops, which they don't like either but they don't say anything which is weird.  It also makes M feel uncomfortable when he calls them that.

  • To them: MIL = "first name" when I'm not happy with her "mom" when I am; FIL = Dad, SMIL = "first name"

    To N: MIL = "your mom" or "your BSC MOTHER", depending :P; FIL = Dad or "your dad"; SMIL = "first name"

    Since my dad is no longer with us, it's not confusing for me to call N's dad "Dad". And he is the only one of my 3 ILs who I really feel comfortable giving a parent title to. I love him :).

    My parents called each others' parents Mom/Pop, Mom/Dad, so it seems normal to me to call your ILs by those names.

  • To her face:  "Hey You"...sometimes I say "Mom" but it still feels weird.

    To DH:  "Your Mom"

    To others:  "Jon's Mom" or "Barb"

     

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    TTC #1 13 cycles, CP 6/09, TTC #2 1 cycle
    CDing, EP'd for 13 months for #1, BFing for #2
    Pregnancy Hypertension - inductions at 39w, I grow big babies: DD was 9 pounds 1 ounce 22 inches, DS was 11 pounds even 22 inches - both vaginal deliveries
  • imagecode_8:

    Ironically I have no problem calling my best friends parents mom and dad.

    I do this too!

    They all answer to it, so it was always easy that way. 

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    TTC #1 13 cycles, CP 6/09, TTC #2 1 cycle
    CDing, EP'd for 13 months for #1, BFing for #2
    Pregnancy Hypertension - inductions at 39w, I grow big babies: DD was 9 pounds 1 ounce 22 inches, DS was 11 pounds even 22 inches - both vaginal deliveries
  • just by her first name, and "your mom" to Dh...
  • All the "your mom"s in this post are cracking me up.  I have the sense of  humor of a 13 yr old boy.
  • I call her by her first name to her face, and I call her "your mom" when I talk about her to DH
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