Cincinnati Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WWYD? Bridesmaid Dress overboard?
I am in a wedding in AZ this fall and just found out from the bride that the dress she has chosen for the BM dress is a Jim Hjelm and priced at $260. First, is this reasonable? If not, how would you handle it?
Re: WWYD? Bridesmaid Dress overboard?
While that's certainly more than I would have asked my BMs to pay, it's not totally unreasonable in the world of bridesmaid dresses.
But, if it's not affordable for you, you need to let the bride know; she may be willing to help with part of the cost, especially if you're already planning to travel across the country for her wedding.
The Fluffy Cat says... "Boxes are the best toys ever invented!"
Oooh first of all I have to say that when I was BM dress shopping I LOVED the Jim Hjelm collection. Those are some gorgeous dresses! I however opted not to pick one because of their high price tag in consideration for my BM's budgets (most didn't have jobs!).
Now back to your original questions. Is it reasonable? Well...that depends on whether you might wear the dress again or not? A nice formal dress may run you a couple hundred dollars anyway (though, not for me...I like to shop the clearance racks!). And, if it makes the bride happy then yes, it could also be reasonable because it IS HER day afterall...
Did you talk budget considerations upfront with your friend? If not, she simply may not know that price was an issue. If you just simply can't afford it, I would talk to her about it and see whether she would be open to picking a different dress (either just for you - suggesting all girls wear different dresses of the same color and similar style; or for everyone). If she has her heart set on that dress, maybe see if you can search for a similar style in a different designers line or have them custom made. I know I found very similar styles to the designer brands for cheaper and sometimes custom can be cheaper. Last idea is to see if you can work out a payment agreement with her if money is tight...for example, see if she could pay for a % upfront and then you pay her back over time.
Hope this helps
Latest Blog Update: Peanut Butter Cookie with Salted Peanut Caramel
I am currently planning my wedding and just had this happen. I would recommend being upfront with the bride immediately instead of waiting.
I would be open and honest with her about your concerns because other may have the same concerns. If its purely financial I would speak to the bride like Christine stated she might be able to "front" you the cash and allow you to pay her back over time. GL HTH.
I find $260 to be completely unreasonable! I would never have asked my BM to purchase that dress. While it is the brides day it is completely self absorbent to ask someone to pay that much money for the dress then have to pay for the other wedding activities.
If it were me I would ask the bride to pick out 2 dresses 1 budget friendly and the other not and ask her to let the BM's choose.
BM's do not all have to wear the same thing anymore.
For our wedding I picked out the color and my BM's got to choose their style and price. Everyone has different body shapes and no one dress looks good on everyone!
thank you thank you all for validating me
It makes me feel so much better knowing I am not just cheap! So, we did talk and she has her heart set on this dress (too bad we can't fast forward to the future, after her wedding, where she looks back and realizes BM dresses really DON'T make your day 
)...but she got us all 20% off. Better, but will still have to cut back on her gift I suppose. Anyone know a good, inexpensive seamstress (it's long, I'm 5'2", I will have to get it altered).
and, I also let my BM's (including her) choose their own black dress. 2 even had one to wear already! And, no, I'll never ever wear a floor length, plum colored gown again. Thanks for the help!
Sorry to hear that! How frustrating.
I used Pauline Miller and I know several other girls on here did also. She is fantastic! Here is her website with contact info:
http://www.stitchesbypauline.com/
Glad you got things worked out and hey, 20% does help!
For seamstress, I highly reco Margaret Oldfield - margaretsdesigns (at) hotmail (dot) com. She works out of her home on the West Side of town. I'm also 5'2" and needed a nice hem and some of the sides taken in a little bit on my floor-length BM dress. I think it's $20 for a hem and $25 for taking in the sides (this was last Oct). She did some significant work for my wedding dress, too (and it was very quality but inexpensive!)
Latest Blog Update: Peanut Butter Cookie with Salted Peanut Caramel