May 2010 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

MIL vent

I know MIL means well but I just want some down time.  We have been going nonstop since the honeymoon trying to get caught up with things around the house.  Before the wedding we would get together with MIL/FIL once or twice a month. This past week she kept calling and even insisted on stopping by at my work to drop things off.  I told her I would get them later (it was just a piece of paper).  She also stopped by the house twice this week.  The day we came home from the honeymoon she insisted we go out to dinner (we had just driven 12 hours over 2 days).  She was here this morning and now wants us to come over for dinner tonight.  I had to put my foot down.  DH worked a 24 hour shift yesterday and I worked late last night.  We put in our garden today and I just want to relax at home.  I feel bad but I really need some "us" time.  I hope the novelty of a daughter in law wears off soon and we can return to our quiet life.  I know I should appreciate her kindness but she is retired and doesn't realize that DH and I work 40+ hours a week and really relish our time off.

Re: MIL vent

  • Wow...that's annoying.  It sounds like she's trying to take it from seeing each other once or twice a month to four times a week.  That's definitely too much.  I don't have any advice because thank goodness we live on the other side of the country from my MIL, but I hope yours backs off a little and realizes it's important for the two of you to have time alone.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I'm sorry that she is overwhelming you. Was there a certain weekend that you would spend with your IL's? I think if you polietly tell her that you would like to spend some time alone together and that you both worked late, I would hope she would understand.
    Me-28 Stage II Endometrosis, DH-29 Severe MFI TTC#1 since July 2010 DH-Varicocele Surgery 3/2011 Me-Laproscopic Surgery 8/2012 Stage II Endometrosis, removed cysts IVF # 1 October 2012 BCP-9/12-10/2 Follitism 300-10/4-10/14 Ganirelex 10/8-10/15 ER 10/17 (20 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 13 fertilized) ET 10/22 Beta 1 11/2 375 Beta 2 11/5 951 Beta 3/ U/S 11/12 BabyFruit Ticker Anniversary
  • Ah man! I had the opposite experience. Before the wedding, MIL was calling 4 times a day. Every day.Now she's down to a reasonable one call a week to HH. Praise be!

    I agree with the pps that being consistent about when you will and will not be able to get together is probably the route to go on this one. She'll eventually get it (unless she's literally crazy). 

  • mbf124mbf124 member
    AHHH!! we have the same MIL! I swear mine is doing the exact same thing.  it's SO annoying.  at least I know someone can relate!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • I'm sorry your feeling so smothered! I actually see and talk to my MIL less now. I see her at church on Sundays and Wednesdays but thats pretty much it. We invited her and FIL over for dinner tomorrow after church so we'll be able to catch up with them some.
    Two souls but a single thought; Two hearts that beat as one image
  • oh wow! thats alot, i would feel suffocated! You did the right thing in my opinion, you have to set up your boundaries at some point. You need your us time, you are newlyweds after all!
  • I would be annoyed! Mine use to call 5-6 times a day before the wedding! Now she doesn't call me at all. It's nice, I do sometimes feel like that she might think I'm a b*tch now, bc she did mess up a lot of things at my wedding that I was soooo upset about.

     Anyways, I would try to go back to the old routine. Tell her that you and DH haven't been able to spend time together bc of working so much lately and you need that time together alone. Then if you know your work schedules, tell her we "can do dinner this day if it's ok with you?" or something like that.

    Photobucket imageAnniversary
  • you have no reason to feel bad. you are just going to have to put your foot down and she needs to learn how to respect that. it's not being mean at all.

    hh and i live in the same town and my parents, his mom and step dad and his dad and step mom....its hard to balance but you just have to say no AND you don't have to tell them why. we just say "we have other plans" and leave it at that, its none of their business if those "other plans" mean sitting at home doing nothing.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards