October 2009 Weddings
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My sister is going to make me crazy!!

My sister lived in another province from the time she was 18 til now (22). She lived there to go to school. While away at school she got a boyfriend. They were on and off for the whole time she was away, actually usually off. So she came back here in February by herself with the plan of going back to the other province in the summer. Now, when she came here they were off, then about 2 months ago they got back on (somehow even though they are on oppisite ends of the country.) so she was set to go back there on the 1st of June. Low and behold like 3 days before she was set to go back she phones up said boyfriend and calls it off, tells him she's not coming back, she likes it here to much and that she thinks it's time they break up for good. All this was of her own accord and she never mentioned it to anyone before she did it.

Well now she's freaking, she can't believe she did it, she's heartbroken and she's an idiot and it was the dumbest thing she ever did etc, etc. She's been like it since probably the day after she did it and she has not stopped texting me and calling me and basically making me dread my exhistance! I'm talking like 8 hour text sessions until all hours of the morning. I have offered her up every piece of wisdom I have to offer and I keep telling her they broken up like 10 times before and they always end up back together (against pretty much everyones better judgement) what makes this time so different. Because she says, I'm up here and he's down there and he'll end up with someone else because he can't see how heart broken I am and how much I love him and blah, blah, blah. For the first while I was very encouraging and sympathetic towards her...now she's making me nuts!!!

BTW, she has a ticket to go back there on the 19th!

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Re: My sister is going to make me crazy!!

  • Ugh, how frustrating.  IMO, it sounds like she's afraid of being alone and it's manifesting in thinking she's in love with him (and overlooking his faults).

    You're a good sister for listening to her, but 8 hours of texting? Really?  Doesn't there come a point where you say, "We've already talked about this?"  Besides giving up your time, you're also enabling her wallow.  Dontcha think it will better for both of you if you cut her off her sob session a little sooner?

  • You don't my sister, (said with an exasperaing eye roll). I have tried to get her off topic and somehow she'll be fine and then boom, we're back to square one. I really want to say look, no more, this can not continue but she's so emotional that she'd probably take it the wrong way and end up feeling worst then she is now...Tongue Tied
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  • imageWitchys_Woman:
    You don't my sister, (said with an exasperaing eye roll). I have tried to get her off topic and somehow she'll be fine and then boom, we're back to square one. I really want to say look, no more, this can not continue but she's so emotional that she'd probably take it the wrong way and end up feeling worst then she is now...Tongue Tied

     

    LoL, okay, understood.  Then here's my prescription: 

    1) Large amounts of your favorite alcholic beverage, and 

    2) Memorize and repeat to all of her inquiries/whines/rants/vents: "You're a smart, wonderful woman. I'm sure you'll figure it out." 

  • kelnyckelnyc member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If she already has a ticket to go back, then you're wasting your breath. She doesn't really want to break up with him IMHO. If she really did, then she'd be RELIEVED that they are hours apart so she can finally make a clean break, and she certainly wouldn't want to be there to throw her misery in his face so that he doesn't get with someone else. (How does that make any kind of sense, by the way??) Don't let her dump all of it on you only to watch her find a way to justify getting back with him anyway. Total waste of energy.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
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  • imagekelnyc:
    If she already has a ticket to go back, then you're wasting your breath. She doesn't really want to break up with him IMHO. If she really did, then she'd be RELIEVED that they are hours apart so she can finally make a clean break, and she certainly wouldn't want to be there to throw her misery in his face so that he doesn't get with someone else. (How does that make any kind of sense, by the way??) Don't let her dump all of it on you only to watch her find a way to justify getting back with him anyway. Total waste of energy.

    I know, oh how I know. Apprently she was talking to him last night and he told her he was truly done. He can't deal with he emotionally anymore. I'm a little relieved because I thought that they would end up back together right away but maybe they really will stay apart and now that she knows it's over for him she will move on.

    Photobucket
  • kelnyckelnyc member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    imageWitchys_Woman:

    imagekelnyc:
    If she already has a ticket to go back, then you're wasting your breath. She doesn't really want to break up with him IMHO. If she really did, then she'd be RELIEVED that they are hours apart so she can finally make a clean break, and she certainly wouldn't want to be there to throw her misery in his face so that he doesn't get with someone else. (How does that make any kind of sense, by the way??) Don't let her dump all of it on you only to watch her find a way to justify getting back with him anyway. Total waste of energy.

    I know, oh how I know. Apprently she was talking to him last night and he told her he was truly done. He can't deal with he emotionally anymore. I'm a little relieved because I thought that they would end up back together right away but maybe they really will stay apart and now that she knows it's over for him she will move on.

    Yes, let's hope one of them has come to their senses! Good luck to you all Witty!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 
    image 
    After 22 cycles and 4 failed IUIs, Serafina joined our family through IVF/ICSI, born 8.28.12
    Surprise! The Sequel is due 12.8.14!

  • I know how you feel, I've been going through almost exactly the same thing with a friend.  I'm not much help though, I got sick of listening to it after she attacked me for being happily married when she can't keep a boyfriend.  I haven't talked to her in a couple weeks and probably won't until she contacts me about something not related to the alcoholic jerk who never wanted to be with her anyway.  I'll sit and listen to her whining for a while if she wants but I refuse to let her be mad at me about it.
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