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Frustrating vent
I need a place to vent about this. I figure this board is safe, because it's not local to me.
My brother has anger/temper issues. That and he seems to get moody a lot He's always been like this. About 10 years ago, there was a domestic voilence issue wiht him and his girlfriend at the time. He spent the night in jail, went through tons of anger management/probation classes and moved on with his life.
Last fall he married a girl from eastern europe that he met on the internet. I'm not sure all the details, but this afternoon there was some throwing, screaming and pushing, so the neighbors called the cops. Since he pushed her, they took my brother into custody (rightfully so) eventhough his wife didn't want them to.
My opinion is she needs to go back home to live with her family. No one needs to live like that. Since they haven't been married that long, she's not legal without the marraige -- she doesn't even have her green card yet.
I'm frustrated because my mom isn't computer savvy, and doesn't even have a computer, so I"ve spent the last 2 hours trying to track him down -- he's in another state, to find out how to post bond or whatever for him. I don't know the process, but he has to see the judge tomorrow afternoon, and then I can pay to bail or bond or whatever it is.
It's frustrating being the responsible sibling, and having to clean up a mess like that.
My personal opinion is if he's going to treat women like that, the jails can keep him. I don't think that would fly to well with my mom though.
Re: Frustrating vent
Wow.
I'm sorry to hear about the situation in your family. You'll want to try and bail him out. I believe the difference between bail and bond is, bail is personal money (i.e. your own money) bond I believe is using someone else's (i.e Dog the Bounty Hunter). But don't hold me to that.
As far as his wife is concerned, yeah, it would be best if she got out, but they rarely do. She either thinks it was just this one time and he didn't mean it or she'll put up with it until she can be in the country legally. Hard to say not knowing her or more about their history.
I can bet it is frustrating, but at least you have us in the "nest" to lean on.
Hugs
TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
SA February 2011: Normal
RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI
Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption
Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
Court trip October 2012
Home November 24 2012!
adoption blog: addingaburden.com
I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
So where are things at with the wife? You said she didn't want him arrested. Let her bail him out then. I'm not sure why the problem lies on you to handle. Or if you find out where he is, and how much it's going to be, send the info to your mom to deal with.
I'd leave him there, except he has to work.
I do understand what you mean. I have an uncle that has alcohol issues. He'd work 4-10s and on thursday night he'd wind up in a bar fight and get arrested. My grandma would leave him until Sunday night, and get him so he'd be ready for work monday morning.
My mom talked to the wife. Apparently the wife's sister called the police. She lives in the states, but somewhere back east. My mom heard the wife tell the police she didn't want him arrested, but the officer did it anyways. My mom called her back later, and no one answer, so she thinks they took her to a shelter. I don't think the wife is capable of dealing with this. She's not acclimated to the culture enough to pay for the groceries at the store.
I got a few bail bonds numbers for my mom, and the number to the county jail. I think I'm more frustated, because I know my mom is going to pay for all of this, like she did last time -- fines, probation, anger management. I felt bad floating a small loan with my mom to pay for my surgery earlier this year, and she pays out the wazoo to bail him out of his financial messes.