No...I didn't drink the water. BUT, my friend did, and she's due in July.
I honestly don't know too much about baby showers, having never planned/had one, and only having been to two or three over the course of my life... so help me out here.
My friend and her husband aren't finding out the sex of the baby. Consequently, they've decided to have the baby shower about a month after the birth of the baby, apparently for more gender appropriate gifts. I know in some cultures it's considered bad luck to have a pre-baby baby shower, but she's not from those cultures. Nor does she have a health concern or something that would push off the shower until later....
Here's my thoughts/questions:
1) Is she really going to go out and re-register for gender appropriate gifts within three weeks of giving birth? (Yes, she's already registered.)
2) Won't she need a lot of the stuff she's registering for when the baby arrives?
3) Is it still called a "baby shower" if it's after the birth of the baby?
4) Is having post-birth baby showers common? Is it tacky? This is the first I'm hearing about it, really.
Re: Speaking of babies...
1) She'll probably register online.
2) Yes, she will need it--based on what moms have told me since I'm not one.
3/4) No, it shouldn't be a baby shower. That's just weird. People stopping by to bring gifts the day of and after is normal. If they were having a bris, that would be a good time to bring gifts, but I'm guessing they're not Jewish based on your comment. When do people have Christening/Baptism ceremonies? Maybe gift giving would be more appropriate then. Oh well, doesn't matter since they've established the plan.
If they don't want to know the gender, why don't they have a shower as normal and accept gender neutral/unisex gifts? It's not like girls can't wear blue and play with "boy" toys and vice versa.
The only ones that I have heard do this are from moms they went into labor before their shower or if this is the 2nd child and instead of a baby shower you are doing come and meet the new baby. Now to answer questions.
1.) It all depends on how she deleivers. I had a c-section and it hurt soo bad to walk. I didnt want to even leave the house for the first few weeks.
2.) In all honesty as long as you have a crib/pack n play/bassinet some blankets, towels/ washclothes, diapers, wipes, bottles and formula (if not breastfeeding) and clothes you will make it through the first few weeks. All the baby does basically the first month is eat, sleep and poop/pee.
3.) I guess you could still call it a baby shower. the only difference is that you get to meet the baby at the same time.
4.) I dont think its common. I have never been to one, but I think its not a bad idea. After all everyone is going to want to come see the baby so why not make a party out of it.
We were the same Christian faith growing up, and in that faith babies (from a few days old to toddler age) are baptized. But there are other segments of the Christian faith that say that baptism should be a choice of the recipient (at whatever age they choose). Hence, baptisms can occur at any age.
I'm not sure if she has changed Christian denominations, but I expect that her child will be baptized as a baby. If that's the case, then the baptism probably will be within a month or two of the "shower," which seems kind of silly to me.
Thanks for your thoughts on this, ladies!
IMHO it makes no sense to me whatsoever that they would have the shower right after the birth of the baby just for those few gifts that might scream boy or girl. They have no idea what condition or mood mom and baby will be in, so seems very presumptuous to me that they've already planned this event. And having all kinds of company in your house at a time when baby sleeps a lot? What if mom is suffering from some post-partum depression symptoms? Just sounds like an all-around bad idea to me. It has been done this way for eons for a reason. Oh, and I also think that they might actually get less gifts this way too. The excitement will probably have worn off a little once the baby has already been born.
Do you have to help throw this event (sorry if I missed that from your OP)? If so, you need to ask her exactly what she expects because there's no precedent for you to work with. GL!
Nope! To be honest, I'm not even sure I can go. I think it's around my sister's doctoral graduation activities, and I'll be in another state.
I sent them a gift off their registry last week as a shower gift ahead of time.
1) Is she really going to go out and re-register for gender appropriate gifts within three weeks of giving birth? (Yes, she's already registered.)
Well, she may have a list she wants if it is a boy, and a different list if it is a girl. Thus, they'd just need to pick which one after the birth.
2) Won't she need a lot of the stuff she's registering for when the baby arrives?
Not really. For the first month, a diaper and a blanket are really about the only clothes a baby needs. A baby can sleep in a porta-crib or cradle at that point. And a baby isn't interacting with toys at that point. It's once the baby becomes more mobile that more clothes and equipment become necessary.
3) Is it still called a "baby shower" if it's after the birth of the baby?
It's called whatever they call it. Unless they are expecting you to throw it or attend, you don't need to worry about it.
4) Is having post-birth baby showers common? Is it tacky? This is the first I'm hearing about it, really.
Fortunately, again, this is Not Your Problem. I have only seen it when the baby came early, or the mother got put on bed rest before the birth of the child, or something else came up to cause the shower to be postponed. But they are the ones who will be dealing with any bad reactions from their friends, you can safely not worry about it.
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You're right, it's not My Problem. But post-birth showers, being something new to me, are a recent curiosity. I personally have mixed feelings about the concept in general (not the fact that my friend is doing it), and I don't think asking questions and opinions of others is out of line.
I totally agree with Kel on this one. Um, how long have we not known the genders of our babies?? It's only been in the last 20 or so years that people know the sex ahead of time. If she's really that worried about getting the "wrong" things, why doesn't she just register for the big things (pack and play, etc) in unisex colors for the shower? Once the baby is born people can buy gifts like clothes that are gender specific. Of course, I don't really see what the big frickin deal is about dressing your baby in gender specific colors anyways- the baby doesn't know that pink is supposed to be a girl color!
Plus, part of the reason you have the shower beforehand is so that you can wash/disinfect everything and have it ready before baby comes. Having it after kind of defeats that purpose.