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Opinions needed
So, I have really started to notice that every girl that we come across, or at least just about, M feels the need to tell them they are, all the while looking at me saying "Don't get me wrong babe I love you very much", look back at the girl "but I just wanted to let you know you're very pretty". He used to do it on occassion and it never really bugged me, but now that he does it just about all.the.time. it's really getting old. We were at a China Buffet last week and he felt the need to tell the waitress, but of course as soon as I walk over he just looks at me and says "You know I love you right" and looks back at her and just says "I just wanted to tell you" and I could clearly see the girl was kind of uncomfortable (she was clearly younger than both of us). Last night we were at Hooters, and for once we didn't get a waitress that looked like she was made of complete plastic, and he felt the need to tell her, she graciously said "Aww thank you" and he said his usually "But I love you" to me.
I just don't get it. Would this bother you, or am I just being self conscious? I think it's inappropriate and he doesn't need to be doing it.
Re: Opinions needed
Ditto...And it would make me uncomfortable if some other woman's husband told me that he thought I was pretty (unless it was a friend). Even though it's true, of course
Yea, the only guy besides M that ever says it to me is my BIL and he only says it when I'm dressed up, for a special occassion or something of the sort.
Not Cool.
I would bother me AND make me feel really uncomfortable.
Tell him he needs to stop. There is no point to him telling strangers they are pretty.
TTC #1 13 cycles, CP 6/09, TTC #2 1 cycle
CDing, EP'd for 13 months for #1, BFing for #2
Pregnancy Hypertension - inductions at 39w, I grow big babies: DD was 9 pounds 1 ounce 22 inches, DS was 11 pounds even 22 inches - both vaginal deliveries
And that is appropriate and nice. I think M is being weird.
Ditto all of this! I definitely think you would be right to talk to him about this.
The first time J did this I would call him an @sshole. The second time, I'd walk out of wherever we were and drive away.
This is incredibly demeaning because he is forcing you to compare yourself to whatever bimbo happens by. He is showing a lack of respect for you and your relationship. If I were the girl recieving the compliment, I'd think he was hitting on me and letting me know that you're not someone he's tied to romantically. He may try to justify it, but there is no justification.
The whole But I love YOU thing is BS. It's like saying... You're stupid, but I don't mean that in a bad way. As if that takes the insult away. Furthermore, he WOULDN'T justify it with But I love YOU if he didn't KNOW he was doing something wrong.
I think it's ok to look - J and I always notice and point out people who stand out for whatever reason - to each other, not to the person. But it's not okay to go out of your way to compliment female strangers in front of your wife and therefore imply to the stranger that your wife is merely a buddy and not a significant other.
Now, if he says to her, "Honey, you are looking fierce in those orange dolphin shorts! Work it, girl!" it's something completely different, and I would question his ability to shop so well. lol
Ditto Aria. If J did this I might slap it. In fact, I probably point out hot women way more than he even notices. I've got to go with Aria, this is a demeaning practice and you are totally in the right to tell M that it makes you uncomfortable.
Tell him if he continues with it, I will junk punch him from Iowa. Midwest junk punches hurt.
I echo Karrey and Aria on this.
Totally inapproprite.
It would bother me as well but not because he actually things these girls are pretty but because he feels the need to tell EVERY single girl this and then top it off "but I love you babe", I would really be wondering what was up. I think I would have already ripped his head off for this because I have no tolerance for this kind of thing.
But I agree with PP, tell him that it bugs you and WHY it bugs you too.
Ok, I point out hot women to my husband all the time (I've been known to whisper "clevage alert") but I would be livid. And if I was the girl, I'd be ticked. Honestly, I usually hate random compliments from men. If it's something with thought behind it, like "your eyes are very pretty shade of green", I don't mind, but if a stranger just tells me I'm pretty out of nowhere, I'm probably going to think they're a creepy freakshow. But what bothers me the most is the lack of respect for you. He's out with his wife, he shouldn't be complimenting other women.