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Vent: too young to be married...

I have been lurking on other boards out of pure boredom at work. Other than the snarky biatches out there, this drives me CRAZY...girls telling other girls they are too young to be married. Who can be the judge of that with someone they don't even know? I agree that some people probably get married too young but seriously? Is it automatic that because I'm 23, I'm bound for divorce?

Re: Vent: too young to be married...

  • I don't understand why people get all roused up on that issue either - what it seems to me is that many people look back and realize that THEY were not in a position to get married at that age, so they think that other people aren't either. I find it amusing when people start listing off all of the things that people should do before they're married - and they include some things that some people really aren't interested in ever doing.
  • I heard that all. the. time. when I was engaged and planning my wedding. I still hear it from some people when I tell them I'm married. It's so irritating.
    Anniversary
  • Its the same on the bump for having babies.  Yes, I was older and that was good for me but that doesn't make it the best choice for everyone.  My brother was very young when he got married (19) and (20) when his first child was born and he couldn't have been happier with his decision.  He has been married for 10 years (come July) and they are probably one of the best couples I've ever come across.  My parents got married when my mother was 16 and they have been married for 35 years now.  They all thought I was nuts for waiting until I was 31.  Some people have things they want to accomplish first and some people want to be able to be young grandparents and do those things together.   
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • I bet that does irk you a ton!  I have friends who have been together since 8th grade, been married for over 10 years now and have the most amazing relationship of nearly any couple I know.

    I, on the other hand, was "never getting married" and could not imagine still being with my BF from when I was 23!  *whew*...scary to even think about!  It just took me until I was in my 30s to find my "lobster".

  • It is frustrating, I think a lot of it comes from people who know when they were that age they weren't ready to be married.  Does that make sense?  My mom married my dad when she was 20, there's no way I was mature enough to be married when I was 20, but it worked perfect for my parents so who am I to judge?  People frustrate me...
  • imagemrsodwyer:
    Is it automatic that because I'm 23, I'm bound for divorce?

    Apparently it is and they are obviously much better judges of what you're ready for and what's right for you than you are Confused 

    I get that too b/c I'm 23

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  • i tell my brother and his gf that they are too young to get married. they are both 23. my reasons:

    1. yes they dated since HS but maybe in the past year or so they just stopped the "i'm mad so we are breaking up"

    2. she thinks it is ok to give ultimatums.

    3. i don't think he is at the same place as her. he loves her and i believe that he thinks she is the one, but not ready for marriage.

    to me all of that has to do with age. so they are too young to get married. but i do not think age applies for everyone. but it does make marriage harder, imo.

    June 13, 2009 ~ Ocho Rios, Jamaica
  • imageBlueMnM:


    to me all of that has to do with age. so they are too young to get married. but i do not think age applies for everyone. but it does make marriage harder, imo.

    Age is related to life experience in majority of cases.  Who you are at 20 is hardly who you will have matured into at 30, let alone 40. 

    It's not to say marriage is impossible during youth - but I agree with the above statement that when a couple is quite young they will face that much more in terms of adversity.

  • I think each situation is unique to the couple. You can't just say that across the board a certain age is too young to be married, or a certain age is the right time to be married. That just doesn't work for all people.

     

    Courtney, let me tell you - I am going to be 27 in August and there are some people I know who think I'm too young to be married. You just can't please everyone - and you don't have to! Bottom line - it's your life. 

  • to each their own i say.  if you think it is right for you, then that is your choice. 

    funny thing though, living in LA, everyone thought i was too young for getting married at 26!

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  • imagestlucia_wife:

    to each their own i say.  if you think it is right for you, then that is your choice. 

    funny thing though, living in LA, everyone thought i was too young for getting married at 26!

    and I was one of the last of my close friends to get married right after turning 26 in Nebraska :)

  • imagehawaiianbride08:
    imagestlucia_wife:

    to each their own i say.  if you think it is right for you, then that is your choice. 

    funny thing though, living in LA, everyone thought i was too young for getting married at 26!

    and I was one of the last of my close friends to get married right after turning 26 in Nebraska :)

    if i was still in TX, my friends would think i was SO old for getting married at 26.

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  • I kind of have mixed feelings about this topic. It's ridiculous for someone who doesn't know you to say your not ready for marriage simply because of your age. On the other hand I don't understand some peoples hurry. You have the rest of your lives to spend together so what's the rush? At 23 I owned my own house and had been dating DH for 4 years but we weren't ready for marriage until 4 years later. To each their own.
  • Ugh, I HATE this.  It's my pet peeve.  My cousins were 18 and 19 when they got married (and had twins within the next year... OMG the horror! *sarcasm*) and they are now going on 6 years and are the most connected well functioning couple among all of my cousins.  Rocky was 38 when we got married and definitely not mature enough for marriage yet.  So, honestly, it's the person.  Yes, a lot of 23 year olds are not ready to be married yet.  A lot of 40 year olds are not ready.  But I know some people who married young and are rocking their marriages right now.  So it has nothing at all to do with age, IMO.
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