November 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
laying best laid plans aside
The plan was to try for another baby after Scarlett turned one. I've been doing the math, and we just can't afford it. I can't afford the time off from work (I used up my leave time with Scarlett). We can't afford daycare for two at all (2400 a month!). I thought about becoming a SAHM, but we can't afford to live on J's salary alone. I could possibly do PT or freelance work (have a possible hookup for this), but I've been working so hard on my career, it scares me a little to let it go - and it's only going to go up, up, up from here if I stay where I am.
I'm going to be 33 soon. I wanted to be done having babies by 35.
I think I'm going to wait until we can afford for me to stay home with them. That may be a while.
Re: laying best laid plans aside
TTC #1 13 cycles, CP 6/09, TTC #2 1 cycle
CDing, EP'd for 13 months for #1, BFing for #2
Pregnancy Hypertension - inductions at 39w, I grow big babies: DD was 9 pounds 1 ounce 22 inches, DS was 11 pounds even 22 inches - both vaginal deliveries
I admire you for taking the time to think it through and figure out what is best for your family. I wanted to be done by the time I was 30 (clearly that didn't happen lol). Sometimes what we want just doesn't work in our favor but no doubt, you will know what works best for you!
I agree with SS that having finances be a dictating factor sucks hardcore. I can relate.
Ditto, especially to the part about finances. Wouldn't it be great it no one had to worry about money?!
uggggggh this is totally what keeps us from starting. I will be 32 in October and we havent even started trying yet. We want 2 and I want to be done by 35 as well....and dont want to fire them out of my vag in rapid fire sucsetion either
We keep playing the lotto, lol...
I'm going to jump your post and add my whine :P. I want to be done by 35 also, and I'll be 32 in September, with no baby in sight, and I don't want them closer than 2 years in age. Sigh. And I'm having money/career worries, too.
As long as N is able to get a teaching job for the fall, we can afford for me to stay home with our kids IF we decide to keep living with my mom. I'm not sure we can afford it if we decide to buy in a year, which was the original plan. We both love my mom's house, and she's easy to live with and get along with, but I would eventually like to be a homeowner, and would like to be able to make decisions without having to put my mom's feelings/needs first. And be able to have sex on the living room floor.
Also, I have a great career that I enjoy, and I'm afraid of what taking a few years off will do to my career progression and reputation within the company. However, I am 99.9% certain that I would rather just be a SAHM. The problem is that I won't be able to SAH forever, and will likely need to try to pick up where I left off in a few years, which could be difficult.
One option would be for N to SAH, and work PT on getting his Master's (which he wants to do anyway) while I work FT, but I have a feeling I would end up resenting him. I would rather have him stay with our kids than have us both work and put them in daycare, and I make close to twice what he does/will, but I just don't know if I could handle that...Especially since my twin gets to SAH, and has a rich DH. Not that I would trade N for any amount of $, but it must be nice.
I guess I need to worry about getting KU first, and then we can figure out which option to take... But it weighs on my mind.
And yes, I'd like some cheese with my whine.
I want to whine too!!
I just want ONE. That's it- one. DH would like 2, but I'm good with 1. Good thing too cuz it obviously having just one is not easy so far.....I just hope it will happen before 33, otherwise DH and I will have to settle for some puppies and kittens....they are a little cheaper.....LOL