Atlanta Nesties
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

MissSunshine

I'm concerned for you. You seem to be contemptous (sp?) of your husband. If things are bad and you can't trust your DH with moving, and have to nag about changing a light bulb you may want to consider seeking outside assistance to help your marriage. If you don't think that could help, perhaps you should consider a seperation.

Being in an unhappy/unhealthy marriage wears on both parties. Once you start a downward spiral it can get out of control very quickly.

Re: MissSunshine

  • imageMs_Shell:

    I'm concerned for you. You seem to be contemptous (sp?) of your husband. If things are bad and you can't trust your DH with moving, and have to nag about changing a light bulb you may want to consider seeking outside assistance to help your marriage. If you don't think that could help, perhaps you should consider a seperation.

    Being in an unhappy/unhealthy marriage wears on both parties. Once you start a downward spiral it can get out of control very quickly.

    I'm thinking along those same lines.  I'd like to make an appointment with a couples counselor, although I'm sure he'll find some excuse to wiggle out of it.  He works two jobs, and he thinks that's an adequate excuse for not having enough time to get things done.  It's absolutely infuriating.

  • imageMissSunshine83:
    imageMs_Shell:

    I'm concerned for you. You seem to be contemptous (sp?) of your husband. If things are bad and you can't trust your DH with moving, and have to nag about changing a light bulb you may want to consider seeking outside assistance to help your marriage. If you don't think that could help, perhaps you should consider a seperation.

    Being in an unhappy/unhealthy marriage wears on both parties. Once you start a downward spiral it can get out of control very quickly.

    I'm thinking along those same lines.  I'd like to make an appointment with a couples counselor, although I'm sure he'll find some excuse to wiggle out of it.  He works two jobs, and he thinks that's an adequate excuse for not having enough time to get things done.  It's absolutely infuriating.

    it isn't??

  • Maybe you could work out something as far as who does what around the house. Are you working too? Would you have time to do some of the things he doesn't have time for (but bother you when they don't get done)?  It's really not that hard to do some of the things you mentioned before, and maybe that would free up some time to go to counseling.  It's really difficult when you have hard and fast "rules" about which person does stuff. 
    <div align=
  • And your bio says you guys are TTC. I hope that isn't really the case. Y'all need to make sure your marriage is solid before bringing a baby into the mix.
  • I work long hours and so does my husband and we still have to maintain our home. I cook and he cleans. Working so much isn't an excuse to neglect everything.
  • imageaskmetostay:
    imageMissSunshine83:
    imageMs_Shell:

    I'm concerned for you. You seem to be contemptous (sp?) of your husband. If things are bad and you can't trust your DH with moving, and have to nag about changing a light bulb you may want to consider seeking outside assistance to help your marriage. If you don't think that could help, perhaps you should consider a seperation.

    Being in an unhappy/unhealthy marriage wears on both parties. Once you start a downward spiral it can get out of control very quickly.

    I'm thinking along those same lines.  I'd like to make an appointment with a couples counselor, although I'm sure he'll find some excuse to wiggle out of it.  He works two jobs, and he thinks that's an adequate excuse for not having enough time to get things done.  It's absolutely infuriating.

    it isn't??

    The man works full time as a web designer, and then does freelance video production work on the weekends.  It's not like he's out busting his butt building houses or digging ditches, though.  He's got it pretty comfy as far as work is concerned, and I'm not cutting him any slack.  It's time for him to stop being a momma's boy and start acting like a man.  I'm looking to start a family soon, and I don't want to start one with a child.

  • to each her own i guess...i'd never treat someone i love and respect with so much vitriol.  but maybe neither of those are really issues for you...
  • imageaskmetostay:
    to each her own i guess...i'd never treat someone i love and respect with so much vitriol.  but maybe neither of those are really issues for you...

    I'm just frustrated that he's not taking enough responsibility.  I guess I'm figuring out he's not really the man I thought he could be.

  • imageMissSunshine83:

    imageaskmetostay:
    to each her own i guess...i'd never treat someone i love and respect with so much vitriol.  but maybe neither of those are really issues for you...

    I'm just frustrated that he's not taking enough responsibility.  I guess I'm figuring out he's not really the man I thought he could be.

    ::butting in:: but you just stated your own problem - you married a man thinking you could change him, not for who the person he is. 

  • imagemusgral8:
    imageMissSunshine83:

    imageaskmetostay:
    to each her own i guess...i'd never treat someone i love and respect with so much vitriol.  but maybe neither of those are really issues for you...

    I'm just frustrated that he's not taking enough responsibility.  I guess I'm figuring out he's not really the man I thought he could be.

    ::butting in:: but you just stated your own problem - you married a man thinking you could change him, not for who the person he is. 

    THIS.

  • Ok, I call MUD. Hmm
  • And people wonder why my business is booming.Stick out tongue
  • imageAerorea:
    Ok, I call MUD. Hmm

    been thinking that too

  • imageAerorea:
    Ok, I call MUD. Hmm
    finally!!!! someone said it! I'm staying out bc this is what I've thought from the very beginning...
    image

    Visit The Nest!Visit The Nest!Visit The Nest!
  • imageGardenPeach:
    imageAerorea:
    Ok, I call MUD. Hmm
    finally!!!! someone said it! I'm staying out bc this is what I've thought from the very beginning...

    It was long past due for someone to say it. MUD, MUD, MUD.

  • imagesmynings_bride:
    And people wonder why my business is booming.Stick out tongue

    ohhhhhhh.... I don't wonder. Wink

    Meet Beyonce Jr.

    image
    Call me Kat =^..^= Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • Please excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is "MUD"?
  • imageMissSunshine83:
    Please excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is "MUD"?

    MUD = Made Up Drama.

  • imageAerorea:

    imageMissSunshine83:
    Please excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is "MUD"?

    MUD = Made Up Drama.

    I can absolutely assure you, this is NOT made up drama, and it is extremely hurtful that would assume such a thing.  Perhaps I've said a bit more than I should have today, but I'm having an extremely difficult time right now.  I needed to vent.  I guess I chose the wrong place.

  • imageMissSunshine83:
    imageAerorea:

    imageMissSunshine83:
    Please excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is "MUD"?

    MUD = Made Up Drama.

    I can absolutely assure you, this is NOT made up drama, and it is extremely hurtful that would assume such a thing.  Perhaps I've said a bit more than I should have today, but I'm having an extremely difficult time right now.  I needed to vent.  I guess I chose the wrong place.

    From the time you started posting, you've been mostly snarky and complain-y about your husband. Since we have no reference for any other type of behavoir from you, so yeah, we're gonna call something how it looks to us, which is either you're MUD or kind of immature. Maybe one day we'll know you better.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • imageMissSunshine83:
    imageAerorea:

    imageMissSunshine83:
    Please excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is "MUD"?

    MUD = Made Up Drama.

    I can absolutely assure you, this is NOT made up drama, and it is extremely hurtful that would assume such a thing.  Perhaps I've said a bit more than I should have today, but I'm having an extremely difficult time right now.  I needed to vent.  I guess I chose the wrong place.

    It absolutely can be hurtful when you assume things about people and circumstances that you really have no clue about. 

    Sounds to me like you didn't really sit down with your H and discuss what you both expected out of a spouse before you got married. 


    image
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imageUGADawg8:
    imageMissSunshine83:
    imageAerorea:

    imageMissSunshine83:
    Please excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is "MUD"?

    MUD = Made Up Drama.

    I can absolutely assure you, this is NOT made up drama, and it is extremely hurtful that would assume such a thing.  Perhaps I've said a bit more than I should have today, but I'm having an extremely difficult time right now.  I needed to vent.  I guess I chose the wrong place.

    It absolutely can be hurtful when you assume things about people and circumstances that you really have no clue about. 

    Sounds to me like you didn't really sit down with your H and discuss what you both expected out of a spouse before you got married. 

    Since it's a little late for this and it isn't exactly helpful, OP, you should try to seek counseling and if he refuses, go for yourself first. I'm not sure it would need to go to the lengths to visit smyningsbride, but definitely try to figure things out first. Don't think a baby will change him because it won't, no matter how much you want to believe he'll step up to the plate.

  • imagemrsmozzarella:
    imageUGADawg8:
    imageMissSunshine83:
    imageAerorea:

    imageMissSunshine83:
    Please excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is "MUD"?

    MUD = Made Up Drama.

    I can absolutely assure you, this is NOT made up drama, and it is extremely hurtful that would assume such a thing.  Perhaps I've said a bit more than I should have today, but I'm having an extremely difficult time right now.  I needed to vent.  I guess I chose the wrong place.

    It absolutely can be hurtful when you assume things about people and circumstances that you really have no clue about. 

    Sounds to me like you didn't really sit down with your H and discuss what you both expected out of a spouse before you got married. 

    Since it's a little late for this and it isn't exactly helpful, OP, you should try to seek counseling and if he refuses, go for yourself first. I'm not sure it would need to go to the lengths to visit smyningsbride, but definitely try to figure things out first. Don't think a baby will change him because it won't, no matter how much you want to believe he'll step up to the plate.

    Oh, I definitely wasn't trying to be helpful.  Just making an observation. 


    image
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • You are probably pushing him away with all your griping and complaining and making him not want to do anything around the house.  Give him a break!  I'm sure there are things that you need to change about yourself too!  You sound so demanding and that turns a lot of people off.  My former SIL was like that.  That's why she's a "former" SIL.  
  • imageKMI123:
    You are probably pushing him away with all your griping and complaining and making him not want to do anything around the house.  Give him a break!  I'm sure there are things that you need to change about yourself too!  You sound so demanding and that turns a lot of people off.  My former SIL was like that.  That's why she's a "former" SIL.  

     

    HAHAHA I love that!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagemrsmozzarella:
    Since it's a little late for this and it isn't exactly helpful, OP, you should try to seek counseling and if he refuses, go for yourself first. I'm not sure it would need to go to the lengths to visit smyningsbride, but definitely try to figure things out first. Don't think a baby will change him because it won't, no matter how much you want to believe he'll step up to the plate.

    I can't emphasize enough what a huge mistake it is to have a baby when the marriage is not going well--we handle way too many divorces involving babies and they are awful--it's really hard to divide time with an infant to make sure they have consistency and appropriate bonding time with each parent.  Moms that want babies and then want to discard their husbands get a harsh reality check when they learn they have to share.

     

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