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:: peeks in :: Hai!
I've been mostly MIA lately. I had a lot of personal issues going on & got a little extra busy at work about the time the board started slowing down. Here's a bit of a recap:
Between 2001 & now, DEX & I (I've decided to go w/ Dear EX, though Fudgesicle was awefully tempting) have been to counseling 4 times - 4 separate rounds of counseling, not just 4 sessions. Simply put, we're dysfunctional as a couple.
I don't know if this was something doomed from the start, or if we developed some bad patterns along the way that we just can't seem to break (I've thought about this a lot & still don't know much of each contributes towards our problems). Every time we've had issues, I've wanted to try to repair what was left & move forward together. Each time we worked on it, solved a few things, & had this great honeymoon period where we were both happy. But it always eventually went back to the same issues, the same problems, the same unhappiness...& each time the fights got worse & worse.
So, on this 4th round, I find myself 2 months away from being 30 years old. I've spent almost 1/2 my life in a relationship (we've been together for over 13 years) where the good times are about dead even with the bad ones, & things were definately not on the upswing. Maybe it was my dad passing away that flipped the switch that made me not want to fix it this time. I don't know; it's just a theory of my counselor's. I agree with her that he was the last person alive whose opinion I would have cared about regarding DEX & I having issues. I found myself really examining my own feelings. I love DEX & I was comfortable. There's something to be said for the comfort of predictability. Even if you're not exactly happy, knowing what to expect is definately less scary than uncertainty.
We're ending this as amicably as possible. We still have our good days & bad days. We're really trying to work on this whole "friends" thing, & it's going good, for the most part.
Other than that...got a raise last month, bought a house, & moved in last night. Going out to see Steve Byrne tonight, Danzig next Tuesday, & trying to keep my social life as full of friends & activities as my new uber-reduced budget will allow! 
Re: :: peeks in :: Hai!
Where do the furbabies go?
Laud - I am sorry to hear about you situation, but you guys know what is best for you and I wish you the best of luck in the beginning of your 'new' life. I too give you kudos for being such a strong force in trying to keep it all together, but in the end knowing what is best for you two.
You know we love you here - if you need keyboards to cry on, you know where to find us.
As much as I'd love to keep them all, I'm going to attempt to keep Sydelle (sheltie) & Aramis (orange & white tabby), the 2 we've had the longest. I bought a condo though, so we'll see how well my neighbors take to her barking
DEX will be keeping the Wegies. Minnie absolutely adores him. As much as I love them both, he needs Minnie & I can't separate her & Mickey (which is why we ended up w/ 2 new cats instead of 1 in the first place).
We both plan on seeing all of them regularly. I already miss the Wegies
Wow. It sounds like you've really put for the effort to make it work. I'm sorry you're having to go through this laud. ::hugs::
Thanks for the update. Congrats on your raise and new house!
Hey! I'm sorry you've been through all of this. It's a rough road, but like pp said, it sounds like you've tried your hardest to work things out (which I too have high respects for. . . its not at all an easy thing to do as it's much easier to just say 'peace out') . It does sound to me that you're headed in the right direction and I'm sure things will work out wonderfully for you!
Woo for a full social life, new place and more monies!
I hope you're new neighbors don't have any problems with barking and everything works out well in the furbaby department!
Best Wishes!
I can't own anything over 25lbs, but Sydelle is under that.
Wegie is short for Norwegian Forest Cat (like Sheltie is short for Shetland Sheepdog). You pronoune it "wee-gee," like the middle syllable of Norwegian.
Laud, I am so sorry to hear about this.
I have to give you kudos though for trying so hard to make your relationship with the DEX work. It sounds like you guys did so much to try to stay together, but some things are just not meant to be, no matter what you do. Even so, I know it must be hard to make this decision, so I commend you for the strength of doing this.
Congratulations on the raise and the purchase of the new condo! I wish you a lot of luck on this new journey.
Laud!! ::::big hugs:::::
Is it awful of me to say that I'm excited for you? You've always been so brave, interesting and just knock-your-socks-off intelligent that I think there are now HUGE opportunities for you emotionally that perhaps weren't there before.
I think it is admirable of you to have invested so much time and emotion into your marriage... but I think that you know what is best for you, and the fact that you have taken the path you are now on just cements my admiration of you and shows how brave you are. You're like a warrior chick
.
AT, if your DH wouldn't kill me for it, I'd so run off with you right now. We'd roam the country doing random & unforgettable things, probably end up living off ramen & swiss rolls because we'd be jobless & have no money...but we'd have fun
Funny that you said "warrior chick." I just signed up for this with a group of girls from work.
OMG, that looks SO COOL. I want to do it... "it's the craziest frickin' day of your life" is also the best ad line I've seen in a long time...
Seriously, my DH can suck it. Let's go run off and roam the country. I'm all for doing random and unforgettable things. I need a vacation too. I honestly don't think he and I would miss each other very much. Oops, did I say that out loud?