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Change in sex drive?
Okay...so...I had been on birth control since I was about 17. I decided to stop taking it at 25 because I was having issues and because I had to switch to my husband's insurance (they're a Catholic company and don't cover BC). Finally! Finally, I discovered my libido. Apparently, the bc was holding me back in the department.
Here's what's weird. I finally wanted to have sex and now it seems like my husband never does. Seriously, he used to be the initiator all the time and now he never does. He always says that he's too tired and that I should "say something" earlier in the evening...usually when he has one friend or another over (seriously...I'm I supposed to just turn to him and say "hey let's have sex" while the guys are sitting there?).
I think he may be having issues maintaining his erection...I wonder if he doesn't want to do it because he feels emasculated? Has anyone had this problem or found any way to solve it?
Re: Change in sex drive?
There are 4 dollar programs everywhere if you do ever want to go on BC again. So... you can get BCP for four dollars per month or 10 dollars for three months.
Am I the only one that gets annoyed when I hear about companies not covering birth control pills because of religious views? If it were me I would stay with your previous insurance if possible. I think denying birth control is a bunch of crap. And paying money to a insurance company who won't cover it just seems like it makes it "ok" and you are helping them keep in business by giving them money. Anyway, I'm with LemonLover33. The choice is yours obviously.
I heard lavender can do something for men's libido. You could also say that you feel weird about bringing up sex while his friends are over and that is why you didn't say anything earlier.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
I LOVED going off birth control due to a newly found sex drive. We had a similar problem for about the first month - but hubby said he was feeling a bit of pressure now that any time could be "the time"!!! We are not "trying" but would be happy to get pregnant if nature took its course. After about a month, he was over it.
The other thing that my hubby used to always tell me is that a guy can only get rejected so many times before they give up trying - so maybe after all of that time of you not being in the mood, he doesn't think you'll be into it.
This isn't a sex drive problem, this is a communication problem. You guys needs to figure out how to send signals about when you are feeling sexual desire for each other.
Sit down (outside of the bedroom) and have a talk about sex. Start off the conversation by telling him that you guys seem to be crossing signals and you want to be on the same wavelength. Tell him that you really desire him and want more of the great sex that you guys have together. Frame everything in terms of "I love having sex with you. You are a great lover and I truly desire you. What are some good ways for me to show you that I want you?" Then listen to his responses.
Ask what time of the day he feels sexiest. Does he like morning sex? Nighttime sex? Would he like some warning? (can you text him while he is on his way home from work that you are totally hot for him?) Or does he want to be surprised with some pre-dinner sex? Discuss some code words that you guys can use in front of others that would communicate that you guys have sex on the brain. Frame everything in positive terms -- never "Why don't you want me?" "Don't you find me sexy?" Emphasize the desire you have for each other. Everyone wants to feel wanted and lusted after.
If there are other people over, ask him to help you with something in the kitchen. Then, when you guys are out of eyeshot/earshot, whisper in his ear that you can't wait to ravish him when everyone leaves. Or tell him how hot you think he is when he is doing "x". Stroke his arm, pat his ass and tell him he is looking terribly sexy this evening. Heck, even offer him him a quickie in the laundry room...he may not take you up on it, but he will know that you are wound up for him.
Your first paragraph ? BC from what I?ve heard and read about it does lower the libido which is a major problem in its side effects. After getting off of it your libido usually shoots through the roof! Not being able to get sex enough to satisfy all your needs ? now.
Here's what's weird. I finally wanted to have sex and now it seems like my husband never does. Here it sounds as though he?s not turning you down; but, afraid of your getting pregnant. Could that be possible? Seriously, he used to be the initiator all the time and now he never does. This really does sound as if he?s scared of a pregnancy. You just need to sit down with him talking about this with him. He always says that he's too tired excuse and that I should "say something" earlier in the evening...usually when he has one friend or another over then do so ? say something like this ? ?Ok big guy you said ask for my having sex earlier so you?d be ready ? well I?m telling you now I want sex? then let him squirm or stew in his own juices (seriously...I'm I supposed to just turn to him and say "hey let's have sex" yes why not while the guys are sitting there?). YES if you do this a couple of times in front of his friends he want be so tired next time his friends will see to that!
As to that last paragraph ? if he?s having problems in this area simply ask then if he says yes then get him to get help with it. If he?s not then you guys need to sit down and talk ? see posting from DaringMiss she has put some really great info in her posting check it out.
I?ve also noticed good info from these too ? LemonLover33 and *city bride*.
~~Emily~~