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let me tell you about my weekend (long)
My parents came up thursday night, which was great! It was so nice to spend time with them, especially since they'll be coming in a few weeks (please God less than a month) when Cletus is born. So it was nice to chill just the 4 of us before things get crazy.
My Dad quit smoking after his 2nd heartattack (yeah that's correct 2 and not to mention the 4 other open heart surgeries including bipasses), 4 years ago. I knew he had taken up smoking an occasional cigar, and I wasn't going to begrudge him that. He had spent some time on the deck smoking a cigar one night, but only a 1/4 of it was gone, I didn't think much of it. Until Saturday night.
We went out to dinner and then to a local ice cream joint. I had eaten dessert at the restaurant, and there was no close parking so I dropped Mom and Dad off at the door and I circled the block. Came around on my first pass and there is my Dad sitting outside smoking a cigarette. I rolled down my window and yelled "what the he!! are you doing?" I circled the block again and was on his side of the street this time, double parked and told him that he needed to drive and that I would walk home. He just sat there with this "deer in the headlights" look.
So we get home I go upstairs and change and lie down for a bit, (like 15 mintues not long). Come downstairs and he acts as though nothing happened. I figured it wasn't the time to say anything because I was in no mood to be democratic. Last night he came in from smoking a cigar and the smell permeated the entire room. So I told him right then with John and my Mom in the room, that he was not allowed to be alone with Cletus, ever and that when he came to visit there was no smoking at all.
Now I'm anxious about their next visit, that he'll "forget" or think that the backyard isn't the house and I'll have to ask him to leave. The only person who has ever told my Dad what to do was his father and I am terrified for the future of our relationship. I love my Daddy, but my child's health is more important. Please tell me it's going to be alright and he'll look at Cletus' face for the first time and never think of tobacco again. (I know that's not going to happen, but wishful thinking)
Re: let me tell you about my weekend (long)
you have to do what is best for your child. My dad has a horrible temper, especially when in the car. He has major road rage. Well we were in Baton Rouge one day, him driving and he started getting mad and cutting in and out of lanes, etc. I told him very calmly that he needed to pull over because Elise and I needed to get out. That he might not care about putting his family in danger because he's mad, but that Elise was MY child and I was not going to let him put her in danger. After that he calmed down and has not done it with us in the car again.
My mom was very shocked that I told him something and that he LISTENED.
You gotta do what you gotta do!
Oh MT, I just hate that he is smoking again! We had a similar situation with my grandma still smoking in front my grandpa after he had just had major open heart surgery. It's never easy trying to get someone to kick that kind of habit. I sure hope that when Cletus arrives it will make a difference for him!