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WWYD
I'm going to attempt to make this sound less complicated than it is in my head.... I'm think I've over-thinking.
DH's 30th birthday is next month. While we were visiting his family this weekend, they mentioned coming down the weekend of this birthday. DH also mentioned that he wanted to have some friends over that same weekend. DH's family does not drink and basically won't have anything to do with it. DH and friends want to have a throw-down. So I could invite his family down for lunch that afternoon and do dinner with his friends that night, but I keep thinking that his family might end up staying later and I don't to be rude and kick them out or make them feel uncomfortable. I personally don't care if they stay, but I know the alcohol thing will bother them (granted this is my house). Or I could just tell them that DH is having friends over and hope they get the hint.
Or we could invite the friends over Friday night, but DH might not be feeling great Saturday morning. 
DH is also no help... he wants to be surprised. Sunday lunch with his family is also out.
Re: WWYD
Could you quickly pull together a surprise something for DH this weekend, so his family feels like they were a part of celebrating his bday. Maybe have dinner at his favorite restaurant? Or surprise him with a day of golf (if he likes that type of thing)?
And could you tell his family that his friends are planning a guy's night out on his birthday? That way he is otherwise occupied.
if his family will make it less fun for you guys partying with friends, then do it seperate. i'd do a Friday night dinner with his family. and party with friends on Saturday.
Pretty much the only weekend available is the weekend of DH's birthday, which is making things complicated. We're either out of town or he's working other weekends.
I may try the guy's thing. That could work.
can you just do dinner with the family friday and friends on saturday? you don't necessarily have to tell them what you are doing saturday, just say you already have plans. MIL seems to think she needs to know everything we do, so we have just learned to say "we already have plans" and leave it at that.
I thought of this too. But maybe the guys could do dinner together somewhere guy-ish and then have everyone over after dinner. So you aren't exactly lying and he may actually enjoy some guy time.
well it sorta looks like lunch with the family and dinner with the friends is about the only option....i would just give the family a heads up ahead of time what is going to take place so that they can make plans if they want to stay or leave. "DH's friends will be coming over later that night for some drinks and such to celebrate with him, i know it's not your thing but i didn't want to be rude by not telling you ahead of time, your more than welcome to stay if you would like"
it is his birthday and it is your home so if they are uncomfortable then they can leave....i know that sounds harsh but you shouldn't have to step on egg shells to make them comfortable when it is his birthday you are celebrating at your home.