I didn't think I'd be as sad as I am about his birthday and father's day and then the anniversary of his accident. It's not really in my nature to be emotional about things, so I feel weird about it even saying this much.
My dad was a biker for years, but now when I see one I smile and wince at the same time. And I see them ALL the time now, everywhere, in unexpected places. His jacket and vest are in the garage. I never did get them framed. Now I'm not so sure I want them up and around.
I still run into our friends who remember my dad at the wedding and say, "Your dad is so cool." They don't know. Then there's that uncomfortable silence and nudge from someone who does know. I kind of wish people wouldn't correct them in front of me. Just leave it at "is" and correct them later.
When we were moving, I found the in memoriam patch they sold at his memorial in my purse. I left it in there, but to see it is kind of like poking at a bruise you keep forgetting is there, so I should take it out.
Anyway - thanks for letting me vent. I think the little black raincloud will stop following me around after this week is over.
Re: Tomorrow is my Dad's Birthday
Ditto. ::HUGS::
TTC #1 13 cycles, CP 6/09, TTC #2 1 cycle
CDing, EP'd for 13 months for #1, BFing for #2
Pregnancy Hypertension - inductions at 39w, I grow big babies: DD was 9 pounds 1 ounce 22 inches, DS was 11 pounds even 22 inches - both vaginal deliveries
That first year of "anniversaries" is really tough. Vent away when you need to. It helps.
Hugs and hopes that the week gets better for you.
I echo the other ladies in saying that the firsts are really hard. But for me, they didn't really get any easier after that. Some of that was my own fault because I carried reminders and truly have never gotten over her loss. So I can understand the confusion and frustration of wanting so badly to hide it all away but needing it close. It's a sticky situation.
Big comfy hugs headed your way love.....I hope the raincloud finds somewhere else to go.
Tons of hugs and T&P to you! I am sure this is going to be difficult, but knowing people thought highly of your dad (well, for me) might help.
(((Hugs)))
I am not the best with words at times like this, but know we all care about you and are here for you sweeite.
Those days will be very difficult, even if you are not an extremely emotional person. It will get easier! Just keep breathing!
I'm thinking of you! XOXO