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BF's birthday party
So I want to throw BF a surprise birthday party. It's his 35th, so it's a big one. I plan on inviting his parents, siblings, and friends. All told, it could easily be 40 people. It's a few months away so I have plenty of time to plan.
I just can't come up with the right scenario.
Option 1 - Take him out to dinner, and surprise him with having everyone congregated there. Everyone pays their own bill.
Option 2 - Rent a place, and have the party there. The story would be that it's my friend's baby shower, and we have to drop off her gift prior to heading out to his birthday celebration.
The issue with this is that my budget can't handle paying for 40 people at a restaurant, which is what I feel I should do, if I'm the one inviting them. If I rent a place, then I will need to get food brought in, which again, is expensive. I thought about cooking, like making several pans of lasagna, salad, and garlic bread, but I would need a lot of assistance transporting it and keeping it warm and serving it, not to mention if I tell him I can't see him for two days he will suspect something, LOL.
I think that since I'm hosting, asking guests to do anything is just plain wrong. I thought about potluck, but dismissed it as incredibly rude.
Am I overthinking this? I really want him to have a special day and have everyone there that he loves, and that love him, but I can't spent $2000 on it. 
Re: BF's birthday party
I think you may be over-complicating things.
I will say that as one of his friends and knowing our "group" and coming from a very similar family type/background, nobody expects for you to need to cook or pay for people to attend anything. Oh, and potluck isn't rude, but I wouldn't pick it for a birthday. Also potlucks with that many people gets unmanageable with wayyy too much food. Also, any time we've ever gone to a restaurant for anything other than a company-sponsored event, guests pay for their own meals.
I would go for option A. It's really the simplest and most economical. We can all show up 30 min or so early and he would be totally surprised. OR, you can do a partial surprise party by saying you're just going to have dinner with his friends and S/BIL, but surprise him with his family too. That way you don't have to be quite as sneaky and still get the big shock factor.
I think I like your first option the best. You can reserve a private room and perhaps pre-order appetisers for everyone and then just pay for the apps (and this isn't even necessary- it just seems like you want to do more for the guests) and your own meals.
You can word the invitation so that it menitons that they will not have to pay for appetisers so they are getting something free for attending.
IMO- I have no problem going out to celebrate a friend's birthday and pay for my own meal. So I don't see why anyone else would. It's a birthday, not a wedding, cinceinera, bar mitzva, or some other traditionally huge spending event.
I'm sure whatever you choose, your BF will love it!
i agree with melissa, i like the restaurant idea. if i was invited to something like that...i would NEVER expect the person who invited me to pay!! so i think you'd be fine
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Thanks for letting me know I might be overthinking it. I just want to do something super spectacular and special for him. I love him so much that I want him to really be blown away and remember it always, LOL. It's several months away so I do have plenty of time to save.
I'll give it some more thought. If I do decide to go the more elaborate route, I found a really beautiful community center in Smyrna that I can rent very reasonably, and I forgot about the Oakwood Cafe for catering. They do down home style food (his favorite) at a very reasonable price.
If I do decide to go the restaurant route, any suggestions?
I had a big blow out for DH's 40th at our house. While not exactly a surprise, we had a lot of fun. We had about 35 people over. I got typical party food--chips, dip, good salsa, peanuts, etc.. I also got a tray from Publix and a Chick Fil A nuggets tray. I bought beer in bulk at the liquor store and bought the wine at TJ's and the liquor store near my house. I spent less than $250.
I also like the restaurant idea. I think everyone would agree that they should pay for themselves.
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What are his favorite restaurants other than Carver's? I'd pick something with a private room. Maybe a steak house that he loves?
If you want to do something elaborate, perhaps you could do that with the cake or other dessert.
To be completely honest, I think renting a place and having it catered is a bit over the top. I know you want to really blow him away, but spending a buttload or going all out isn't necessary for that. Besides, you know as well as I do that he'd be overjoyed with anything you did. Come to think of it, we've never really done anything for his birthday. DH has gotten him a game or something, but that's about it.
I like the restaurant option best. I would never think we were getting a free meal just becasue a party was held at a restaurant.
here's some "good for large groups" suggestions
http://www.opentable.com/info/banquets.aspx?m=16
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You know what, you're totally right. Doing something elaborate would make ME happy, but he would be thrilled to get anything, and if he thought I emptied my bank account to do it it would make him really upset actually. I guess I was thinking that since I love him so much that I should really go over the top to show him, LOL.
So the restaurant idea makes the most sense. I can surprise him with a really incredible cake (star wars maybe?), plus having his family and friends there will be great.
Please throw out any restaurant suggestions that can handle a large private party. No Pappasitos/Pappadeaux since two of our friends had/will have b-day parties there recently. Area doesn't really matter.
Thanks everyone!
I love the restaurant idea.
I also think a potluck isn't a crazy idea either. I just held one in Piedmont park for a friend. I wrote on the invitation that I was providing the main food, Shish Kebabs, drinks and a birthday cake and my friends all brought other things. It turned out really well.
I think whatever you do he will love.
love this idea!!!
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