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I'm sorry that I
haven't been on lately. Hubby and I have been trying to deal with issues right now. He has been working his a$$ off at work and not getting home til late and my work schedule is super crazy. We try to find time with each other but it's just not working out like we thought it would. I basically told him last week that I was unhappy.
We had a late night talk bc it was one of the nights where he worked late and all day. I have massive issues from that rape and also from my ex husband (he was verbally and mentally abusive) I didn't realize how bad he has damage me until lately. So after hubby and I talked we are trying to spend more time together. We had a nice date night the other night. He is also trying to get his insurance worked out so we can get me to the doctor to get help. It makes me sad that my issues are this bad 
I have the best man ever bc he is so understanding and willing to help me out! I've just been super busy and super depressed. I'm always the type to put on a face and act like nothing is wrong and to act cheery, but when I'm at home I just sad and want to cry.
I have missed everyone on here and I'm sorry I haven't been on to talk about our new lives. I am going to try to get on here more. I basically wanted to pop in and say hi and that I haven't forgotten about yall. I hope all is well and everyone is doing great!
Re: I'm sorry that I
Don't apologize! Real life is far more important. I hope things get better for you soon.
Nothing exciting has been happening around here lately anyway. It's been kinda slow.
Amen to that... my husband has been great about validating my feelings and understanding that sometimes they can't be controlled by how I want to feel or think I should be feeling. Definitely keep going with your husband to try to work things out, little by little!
Oh Holly... You so don't need to feel bad about not being around here. I don't think many of us have been around as much as we used to. You need to deal with the stuff that you are feeling. When things start making you think about your past relationship and are making you worry that you current relationship could be heading that direction no matter how unfounded it really is it is something that needs to be dealt with. When you have been hurt the way that you have sometimes the feeling that we have from that are overwhelming and crippling. If you don't talk about them with your HH then you will end up having more issues than you did. The sadness and helplessness will become greater and the hole you are falling into will get deeper. Your insecurities are valid because of your past. As long as you let him know about them so he can do something about it and as long as you acknowledge that you are having an issue then you are being healthy about proactive about it.
It is easy to internalize these feelings and it is toxic when you do! Hang in there and know that those feelings will slowly go away it can take years. I know from experience. You will get to a point where you are feeling like you are in a good place then bam something will happen and put you back in that ugly place. You will become stronger over time and you will learn how to bounce back faster and not feel the way you have been feeling.
Hang in there! Hugs and you are in my prayers!!!
Don't be sorry! Your life comes before us Nesties!!!
Keep your head up. God gives us bullsh!t now so he can reward us later.
Amen to this! I hope everything gets better for you soon - keep faith honey
xo
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY! The silver lining to this whole senario is that you ARE aware of the way you are feeling and we are taking the HUGE step of talking about it. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't let the past warp your relationship. I hope and pray that things work out for you Holly!
I had the same experience and while it hasn't been bad lately, it was really bad when we were still dating. DH has been awesome with it and it really helps when they are understanding.
Stay strong and like another poster said, writing does help!
proud pagan