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Kid Conflicts
This is not just a question for parents, but for potential parents/soon-to-be-parents/want to be parents, etc...
Are there any issues that you and DH totally disagree on? How will you handle it with your kids?
I don't mean parenting issues (necessarily) but other things in life. For example, I have friends getting married this summer -- one is an Atheist, the other is Catholic. There issue is how to deal with God/religion with future kids.
DH and I started talking about this last night because DH doesn't celebrate his birthday (long story, not a religious thing, just a him thing...) and I asked what we would do (if we had kids) and they wanted to buy dad a birthday card. No resolutions were made. We also started to get into it about Santa Claus...
Re: Kid Conflicts
My H only has strong opinions on a few subjects, namely computers (and most other technology) and cars. He's really open minded on most other things. We've done a lot of discussing how we'd like to raise our imaginary kids and I really can't think of anything that was a sticking point (with the exception of him committing to names - a non issue right now). He's very type B, laid back though.
I've got no help for you re: Santa Claus but I don't see a huge issue with your H not celebrating his birthday. Maybe it would be a good opportunity to teach your kids that everyone has different preferences and that's okay. That said, I'd expect him to be gracious about receiving a card from his child.
We have a few differences. I think that my overall ideas on parenting are much more laid back than his, regarding schedules, bed times, etc. Although I may end up being stricter than K when it comes to academic standards.
I think these are things that we will have to address as they come up, and come up with a compromise.
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We are in agreement on most major issues... if there is something that comes up, we'll figure it out - we've never really had an issue working through things like that and we generally have very similar values.
However, I think the one thing that I worry about is that DH's dad always gave them whatever they wanted, if they were going to be disciplined it was MIL who did it. My parents were a united front for the most part so no one was always the bad guy and that's how I want to be with our kids. DH says he agrees with me, but I'm curious to see how it actually plays out as he isn't so good at discipline with the dogs. He's gotten better though so I'm hopeful that it wont be a big issue for us.
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I also think we mostly agree about things. In our house, the person with a strong opinion (or the largest stake in the matter) gets to make the decision. When the drycleaning gets dropped off: me. When the lawn gets mowed: him. We plan our own birthdays. That sort of thing.
That said, DH can be kind of a pushover. For example, I know he had some bad experiences with hypocrites in organized religion when he was younger, and he vowed he would never want his child to attend a religious institution regularly, however I love Christmas and make a big deal out of it, and I dragged him to a seder this year, which he was happy to attend. So I think if it's something I really want, I can have it.
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I really can't think of anything off the top of my head.
I am much more uptight and scheduled, and I know that his instincts will be more laidback. I think we will find common ground though.
He does not want more than 2 kids though, and although I originally wanted 5, now I'm hoping for 3.
We're on the same page for most kid-related issues, but we're having this debate as well. I want 3 and he wants 2. I figure we'll see how we feel about it many years down the road when we actually have kids.
We also plan how we would take care of these situations with our "imaginary" kids.. we always seem to agree for the most part, maybe very slightly when it comes to the degree of the punishment.. ha. I do worry though because David growing up didnt have a curfew, rules, never got punished, was allowed to do whatever he wanted, pretty much.. never got scorned for anything... me on the other hand had tons of rules.. strict curfews, grade standards, grounded all the time etc.. we both agree that we will not be as strict as my parents and definitely not as lax as his parents...but i hope we both stick to it and talk each situation out