Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
In Desperate Need of Prayers
First of all, Happy one month to May 22nd'ers! I can't believe how fast time is flying. I am LOVING the married life. We are all moved in to our new place and DH is loving his job. I wish I could find something, but I know something will turn up eventually.
On June 10th, I received devastating news. In fact, possibly the worst news I have EVER received. My best friend, whom was a bridesmaid in our wedding, was driving home from school and was killed in a car accident. It was her fault -- she was talking on her cell phone and only looked one way at the stop sign and a semi hit her from the other direction. It was a road she traveled twice a day, and a road that probably has 3 cars total on it per day. I am really, really having a hard time accepting that it is true. I went home for a few days to help her parents with the funeral plans, kind of going through her stuff, picking out the outfit she would wear, flowers, etc. and the whole time I just expected her to walk through the door.
My life is SO different without her in it. We talked every single day and I just keep waiting for my phone to start buzzing with her name on the screen. She is also the one that hooked my husband and I up in the first place (almost 6 years ago). We have been close friends since we were probably 3 -- her oldest brother was my oldest brother's best friend -- and have been best friends for several years. She was 20 years old and literally lived every day to the fullest. Now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces and cherish her memories. Our wedding was the last time I saw her -- we had plans together for the next three weekends, but those will not be happening now. There's just so much left unsaid -- so many more dreams and things she wanted to do in life. She was full of spirit & touched so many lives. The visitation lasted an hour over the time it was supposed to, with people waiting outside for an hour and a half just to pay their respects.
My husband and her were also very close friends, and he's taking it just as hard. He was always her "lil sis." I'm so lucky we have beautiful wedding pictures of her (the photographer even made some special ones of just her) to keep forever, but I'm still in shock that my best friend is really gone. I know I can always turn to you girls when I'm in need of a few prayers -- I could sure use them now! I wrote on here a couple weeks before the wedding about my uncle passing away very unexpectedly...It seems as if God is in need of some stellar angels these days.
Hope you all are enjoying married life! Take care.
Re: In Desperate Need of Prayers
I am so sorry for your loss, this is horrible and sad news. I know that nothing can be said to take your pain away but please know that you are not alone during this time even though you may feel it. You have all of us behind you, all of us from around the country so you have one giant hug and circle around you.
It's hard not to take things for granted in life and I hope you don't feel guilty for anything you feel was left unsaid. Believe in your heart that she knows and feels everything that you want and wanted to say not to mention everything you feel for her and the memories you have. It will be hard not to see her or to hear her voice but know that she is with you and don't stop talking to her. Maybe it would make you feel better to write her a letter and put everything you want on paper, keep doing that any time you want to.
Sending you a hug...
my heart is literally breaking for you. I am just so so so sorry to hear this. I'm so glad the last memory you have of her is of her celebrating your marriage.
You have my thoughts and prayers. May God be with you, your husband, and her family.
bio
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband during this very emotional time. I know how I would feel if I lost my best friend and I'm sure the actuality is a million times worse. A friend once told me this and I think it will serve you well now..
To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
I lost my high school sweetheart and best friend in a car accident. When it is someone who is so young and who you love so much its hard to wrap your head around how it could happen.
I'll be thinking of you and you can msg me if you want to talk.
The Benhams: Married May 1st, 2010!
I'm so sorry for your loss! You are all in my prayers!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you and your husband are feeling. I will keep both of you and her family in my prayers.
Oh wow that is crazy! I am so sorry that you have lost someone that is such a part of your life. It is hard to recover from that. I still look for best friend to call as well. It is a hard thing to deal with. His number is still in my phone I can't delete it and it has been transfered to 3 phones now. I will keep you and her family in my prayers for peace. My heart hurts for you and yours take care sweet and we are here for you!
I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
My heart is breaking so much from this. On July 24 will be two years since I lost one of my best friends. He killed himself. He was my very best friend and high school sweetheart. That tattoo I have on my shoulder is in memory for him. I understand how you feel completely. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him. To this day, I still expect him to call me or message me. I still expect to see him at the store. It does get easier but not much. The only thing you can do is keep her memory alive. Think of all the good things you had together.
With my best friends death, it actually brought me and an old friend together. She introduced us back in 9th grade, then her and I had a falling out and went up and down through high school. They were best friends as well. So when I heard of his death I contacted her on myspace and we have been best friends ever since. She was even a BM in my wedding. It's ironic how things work out. We go out and have a drink for him and just talk about how retarded funny he was. He was the best person in the world.
Just keep your chin up high. Remember it is ok to cry for them, it's ok to be upset out of the blue. Don't ever let her memory go. It is great that you do have those great pics of her from your wedding. You and your friends and family are in my prayers. *hugs*
Thank you so much for all your kind words -- I knew I could turn to all you wonderful people!
As much as I'd never want ANYONE to experience this pain, thank you for sharing your stories -- It's nice to know I am not alone in my sorrows. One funny thing I have to share about my friend is that she was SO in love with wedding planning (she planned half my wedding) and already had her wedding completely planned -- although she wasn't even engaged. She was a member of the knot and one day she told me that since she was already done planning her wedding, she had moved over to the nest and was planning her nursery. She really was a hoot! I wish she could have that wedding and nursery she planned.
I think things would be at least a little bit easier if I could find a job. We just moved to a new place where I don't know anyone, and I sit around all day which just makes me think about it more. I live for 5:30 when my husband gets home. I had two interviews the day after her funeral, so my mind just wasn't in the right place and I didn't get any offers. I'm praying something will turn up soon.
I do have two things I would like to share -- The first is that you make sure you tell your friends you love them often. Lauren told me every single day just how special I was to her, and I'll never have to wonder if I meant the world to her because she made sure I knew. The second is please do not talk or text while driving. I know that it's easier said than done, but whatever you have to say really can wait until you reach your destination. I know Lauren wasn't ever the BEST driver in the first place, and she was very easily distracted, but I know if she hadn't been on her cell phone she would have looked both ways and she'd still be here with me today! Please, don't ever make any of your friends go through this. Love you all and thanks again for your words of encouragement!
sorry i am a little late on this and just reading it.
i know there is nothing any of us can say to make the pain go away or make you feel better. just know your dear friend is still with you every moment of every day. God gave her wings to rise above and in her arms she holds you and all her loved ones.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.