HELP!!!

bayquinn · June 2010

I have been with my husband for three years now and we have been married a little over a year. He is the only person I have ever been with. I have never had an orgasim and I don't know why. Our sex life is awsome I just can't orgasim. And its making my husband feel inadequate and now he doesn't ever want to have sex. What can I do? Are there any positions or tricks? Please help. thanks

Tough Taters · June 2010

Masturbate.

And, it's orgasm.

BunMom90 · June 2010

I agree with pps. You need to get familiar with your body and masturbate. Only about 20% of women achieve orgasm from vaginal intercourse (I could be off on the %, but I know it's low). So you may need clitoral stimuation to orgasm. It doesn't mean your H is inadequate or you are not normal.

Also, you should try different positions during intercourse. Check out the local bookstore or amazon for tips on positions and try as many as you dare. A different position may result in better g-spot stimualtion for you. Good luck!

tacb · June 2010

Have you tried oral sex? It might be easier to "get it" that way. But you do need to get familiar with your body. If you don't know your own body how can you expect someone else to please you? I have never heard anyone descibe their sex life as awsome when they have never reach orgasm, just a thought.

preglicious · June 2010

There's nothing wrong with you. I have had a guy tell me something was wrong with me which totally wasn't the case as I found out later with someone else. So since you are married your choices are 1) Masturbate 2) Try sex toys if you are open to it 3) see #1 again. HTH!

aley_larue · June 2010

Hi, I am a passion consultant ( I sell adult toys.) http://aleyfrith.yourpassionconsultant.com This is my website. I recommend PureSatisfaction. You can use it during sex or during "alone time." It helps stimulate and makes having an orgasm easier and WAY better. Its amazing. You might also try getting a bullet or a G-Spot toy so you can figure out what feels best for you and where and during sex y'all can find that spot together.

iluvmylab · June 2010

DIY and it wouldn't hurt to fake an orgasm every now and them to boost the hubby's self esteem.

BigTrev · June 2010

tacb:
Have you tried oral sex? It might be easier to "get it" that way. But you do need to get familiar with your body. If you don't know your own body how can you expect someone else to please you? I have never heard anyone descibe their sex life as awsome when they have never reach orgasm, just a thought.

You can enjoy sex without an orgasm!

BigTrev · June 2010

iluvmylab:
DIY and it wouldn't hurt to fake an orgasm every now and them to boost the hubby's self esteem.

She might not know HOW to fake one though if she's never had one! But yeah, not a bad idea. I know I almost care more about my wife being satisfied than myself some days, it would be a bit crushing to know that she never had an orgasm. Sometimes I'll just give her hers first with foreplay before I even worry about mine. I know mine will come eventually...

bandaG · June 2010

When we first started having sex, DH and I experimented a lot. Different positions, different lubricants, toys, etc. Eventually we found stuff that worked. I don't O every time we have sex, probably not even half the time- but DH does his best and it still feels good! What I like to do is while he is inside me, I stimulate myself at the same time. It's a little tricky at first but we got the hang of it. HTH and GL!!

djloh68 · June 2010

BigTrev:

tacb:
Have you tried oral sex? It might be easier to "get it" that way. But you do need to get familiar with your body. If you don't know your own body how can you expect someone else to please you? I have never heard anyone descibe their sex life as awsome when they have never reach orgasm, just a thought.

You can enjoy sex without an orgasm!

I agree, I have really good sex with my husband but I have never had an orgasm. Not just with him but ever. I have been wondering this same question as the original poster. I've heard it's a lot BETTER with an orgasm but masterbating makes me feel embarrassed, even if it's just with myself.

bonnieoverseas · June 2010

do not be embarrassed to masturbate. it's your own body, and you need to understand it as much as possible, before you can begin to help you husband understand it. getting a vibrator is an easy way to get started. and do not fake an orgasm during sex. that is lying to your man, and being dishonest to yourself too. you can achieve a real orgasm together, but it will take some work and some time. imagine how much more it will boost his self esteem when you finally have a real orgasm with him, and start to have them more and more often!

diddygrl · June 2010

iluvmylab:
DIY and it wouldn't hurt to fake an orgasm every now and them to boost the hubby's self esteem.

no this is not he answer faking is never good

ccoffman1 · June 2010

I can't have an orgasm without clitorial stimulation but on top almost always works or doggy style does too and I use my vibe to stimulate myself in that position. I couldn't imagine never having an oragasm DH always lets me go before he does or he works hard for two doesn't happen very often but those are the best. my best advice would be get some toys and play around and dont over thing about having an O if you think to much you can't relax but I wish you luck because they are amazing!!

LoveBug10-09 · July 2010

I can't believe anyone is telling you to fake it. That is a truly terrible idea. Explain to your husband that very few women can actually orgasm from intercourse alone. I believe the percentage is 10% or lower that actually can. I have never orgasmed from sex, and I believe it is unreasonable to expect your body to do so when so few women can. However, that is not to say that you shouldn't try to have an orgasm! I second the PPs that mentioned oral sex, clitoral stimulation (by him, if masturbation makes you uncomfortable), and maybe a vibrator. He can even use the vibrator on you (with direction), if you aren't comfortable using it yourself. Overall, though, I would just suggest that you don't think about orgasm as the end-all-be-all of sex. Just enjoy the sex, and try to learn to orgasm from something else. Maybe someday, you will have one from sex when you least expect it.

(all of that is not to say that you shouldn't try to find positions that you find more enjoyable!)

amfaulk · July 2010

If you feel uncomfortable masterbating, pull the covers over you, grab a little lube, lay on your belly, and watch some porn. Might seem dirty at first, but the lube gets you started and suddenly you can't help yourself. The more you do it, the better you get.

One sex therapist that I've read about suggests imagining a ring of fire as you try to reach orgasm. This doesn't work for me, but I've found that watching my H while we're having sex makes my random thoughts disappear. The harder I try to O, the further away I get... that's when I open my eyes. Also, doing kegal exercises strengthen your lady muscles and are helpful when you're 'almost there'. Those are the muscles you use when you're trying not to pee. Do about 30 of those a day, and you'll feel a difference.

I used to not orgasm at all when we first began having sex, just b/c I was concentrating on his pleasure too much to bother with my own. What a waste! Him on top used to be the only way I'd reach orgasm without hand or toy stimulation... but the more we did it, the better we got. I orgasm at least twice everytime now.

angelalcox · August 2010

I've found its simply learning your body...the problem is, its not that simple. My hubby took a whole night to try to get me there with the disclaimer that if I didn't come that night he'd try again the next night. If your man is as anxious for you to orgasm as you say he'll be all for that...easiest position for me is missionary...he can go just deep enough and I can put myself toward him and kind of direct him to where i like it.

HELP!!!

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