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Job talk update (long)
So, the board member called me last night, we spoke for about 45 mins.
She told me that she knows exactly what my boss is like, as does everyone on the board, however, apparently I put across a very good front and they had no idea that she was still acting this way. They thought, based on that, that I was someone that wouldn't stand for it and it wasn't happening, especially considering the fact that I have stuck it out for so long. She told me that she has had issues with previous staff (as I originally thought) and everyone knows what she is like.
She said I could do one of two things: a) She talks to her for me or b) I do it. She said if I don't feel comfortable she's happy to do it but suggested I try to talk to her first. She assured me that after our conversation, she cannot fire me and because they all know what's she's like and because of past issues they will step in if she doesn't improve or starts treating me worse because of it. I'm terrified, but knowing that helps at least some.
She told me I should not have to put up with this and it is unacceptable behavior. She said that she can guarantee the entire board is behind me. I told her I didn't want people to think I was making it up and she promised me that she knows I am not as does everyone else. She apologized because she said even though they deal with her behavior, they aren't dealing with it every day and she can't imagine what it must be like. She thanked me for letting her know it was going on too because they honestly thought she had changed.
So, she told me to emphasize that I do love my job (because I like what I do and the cause) but to tell her that my feelings are hurt and the way she is speaking to me and treating me is making me want to leave. She said to mention that I feel loyal to her and the organization but she is making it very difficult for me. I mentioned my worry that she would think it was hormonal and she told me to tell her that I have felt this way on and off for the 2 1/2 years I have been here.
My plan was to wait till after our early registration deadline tomorrow to talk to her because she's crazy right now, however, I think it might almost be best to approach it next time she blows up with me because then she'll see that i won't stand for it anymore and I'm not coming to her out of context.
We focused mainly on the way I am treated that way - I did mention that I have taken on more responsibilities and I think, even though she didn't say anything, she might go to a higher power and get that taken care of somehow because she sounded shocked that I wasn't being paid more for it and that she wasn't hiring extra help really.
It's sad because she is the only person to have ever run this organization - her staff (me) are the people that keep the day to day operations going but she knows the business and knows her stuff and no one cares enough to take over from her so they wouldn't fire her.
Even if she doesn't react badly to me, I honestly don't see how she will change - it's her personality. But at least I have brought it to the board's attention and that might help in trying to finally maybe get a small raise or even 2 weeks of vacation a year instead of 1. She told me that she has expressed she is terrified of me leaving her and really values me (even though she doesn't show it) and she really thinks she'll do anything in her power to make me happy.
So, sorry for the LONG post, wish me luck if this happens today!
Re: Job talk update (long)
I'm glad that she acknowledged that she knew about the behavior, but I'm sorry, if you know a member of your management team were/is treating their employees like crap, then they are to blame as well. I know you like what you do Caroline, but it sounds like the whole organization needs some serious help. I really hope that once Lucie is born that you will look for another job at a company that treats you with the respect that you deserve.
And I agree that you should do it the next time she blows up. Enough is enough and I know you are nervous about confronting her, but you need to do something.
Baby #2 - D&E - 10/1/10 @ 19w2d - thanatophoric dysplasia confirmed.
Charlotte Lillian will be forever in our hearts.
Baby #3 - Little Bean - natural miscarriage - 1/17/11 @ 5w5d
I agree with mel. If the board knows how she is and how she treats people then how can they stand and let her continue in the position? I am glad that you told the board member everything.i agree say something when she does blow up at you. honestly i think with the way she is you should just set up a meeting with her and one of the board members that way what is said is documented. and maybe they need to have a follow up meeting after with you alone to check on things and make any adjustments needed.
and honestly if she is even a small portion like i am picturing how can she change? she has more than likely been stuck in her ways for so long.