November 2008 Weddings
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Would you be upset? (long)

I'll try to keep it short, though...

A friend has 3 "free" airline tickets that we can use, we would only pay $50 per ticket. We decided to offer them to my brother so he and his wife can visit (seems they could use the alone time). They loved the idea, but decided they cannot come without their kids (5 and 2 yo). 

That alone troubles me cause that's 3 kids that need car seats, which means we ain't going anywhere together, and we'll have to drive our 2 cars to go anywhere, which means having to take DH to and from work everyday... I think they obviously haven't thought about that...

 Anyways, the thing that upsets me more is: they said they wouldn't take them unless they could all come, and they couldn't afford it like that. We decided to offer to pay for another ticket (so they have 2 RT tickets), and drive the 4 hours to the airport, and 4 back, to save them some money. So up to there, we're paying over $400 for them to come.

Now it turns out that since we're paying for that 4th ticket, suddenly they can afford 2 nights in Seattle, a trip to the zoo and other touristy things, and a new backpack!

I feel like they're taking advantage of us. Am I over thinking this? 

Re: Would you be upset? (long)

  • I would probably feel the way you do.  Where did all this money suddenly come from??

    On the other hand - to play devil's advocate - if you can only afford to get to a destination - and can't afford to do anything while you're there - what fun is that?  Maybe that's where they're coming from. 

     

  • Yes, I would be upset.  I agree that it sounds like you are being taken advantage of a bit.  It's one thing to say, no we just cant do it.  But it's different to work and pry more out of you guys and then suddenly have tons to spend elsewhere.

    Is this all still planned?

  • It does seem like they are taking advantage.  Maybe you could ask them to pitch in and rent a car ( a BIG car) while they are at it???  If they can't afford the ticket how can they afford all the extra fun stuff?
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  • I agree, it does seem like they're taking advantage a bit.  I'd feel the same way you do.  Is there a way you think you could chip in, like with a rental car (like ilovedesi suggested)?
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  • All the extra stuff is in Seattle, 4 hours away from where we are, so it's not even fun stuff to do with us! And there's plenty to do here. I guess they just want to get the most out of the trip, but just 2 days ago they couldn't come up with the money for that one flight, that's what bothers me.

    And what we're paying is already a stretch for us, Evan will need a new car seat and a high chair in no time, and a backpack carrier because he's getting too heavy for the front carrier.

    We're trying to plan things online now, but I'm just getting upset about this, I kinda wished I could take the offer back!

  • Oh my God!! They want to save a hotel night by leaving their house at midnight, and they wouldn't get to our home until 6:45 pm. Poor kids!!
  • I would be a little upset, but that's just me.

     FYI:On Babycenter.com there is a babywearing swap group that you can ask to be a part of.  A ton of ladies sell their (used) carriers that can do front and back carries!  I got my beco there for a good deal (and sold it or I'd offer it to you, because H hates being worn).   

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  • Since I already have this post, I'll continue using it to vent instead of starting a new one...

    I want to climb into the screen and choke my brother!! Yes, your 5 yo daughter still needs a booster seat, and yes, since they all need seats, we don't fit in one car! And my husband will not be your driver in Seattle.

    Sigh...

  • Would it be really rude to say, at this point in the planning, that after working out the finances (or whatever excuse you want to use) maybe you can put it off until another time?  If I was in your shoes I might be inclined to do that!  It seems like it might just get worse based on what you're saying.
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  • imageveruca5839:
    Would it be really rude to say, at this point in the planning, that after working out the finances (or whatever excuse you want to use) maybe you can put it off until another time?  If I was in your shoes I might be inclined to do that!  It seems like it might just get worse based on what you're saying.

    I agree!

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  • imagebreannek.ot:

    imageveruca5839:
    Would it be really rude to say, at this point in the planning, that after working out the finances (or whatever excuse you want to use) maybe you can put it off until another time?  If I was in your shoes I might be inclined to do that!  It seems like it might just get worse based on what you're saying.

    I agree!

    me too!  this is gettin g seriuosly inconsiderate and DEFINITELY taking advantage!

  • imageCarli828:
    imagebreannek.ot:

    imageveruca5839:
    Would it be really rude to say, at this point in the planning, that after working out the finances (or whatever excuse you want to use) maybe you can put it off until another time?  If I was in your shoes I might be inclined to do that!  It seems like it might just get worse based on what you're saying.

    I agree!

    me too!  this is gettin g seriuosly inconsiderate and DEFINITELY taking advantage!

    I'm on this boat. I think it's quite rude to not only take advantage of your offer but then decide not to spend time with you.

  • I'd be p!ssed. The point was for the two of them to come see you, and suddenly it's turned into a family vacation that you are funding (and providing car service for!), and they're not even spending a chunk of it with you? Hells to the no.
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