Sex & Romance
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(long) need advice

I will try to make this as simple as possible. I went to my gyno about pain while I was going to the bathroom. Turns out, I have a bacteria. NOT and STD, just an infection of sorts. She gave me medication to take for the next 14 days, but I am not allowed to have sex until I am off it. Well, DH and I have sex very often, and being on this medicine sucks. The first day being on it was yesterday and DH couldn't deal with not being able to "do it." I gave him a BJ and he was sufficed. I tried to explain (for the 4th time) I can't have sex while on this medication. At first he offered to help in "other ways" so I said yes, even though it takes forEVER for me to finish that way-and I almost never do. He worked at it for like a half hour and got tired so we went to sleep, no big deal, I really don't care. But then this morning he said he wanted to have sex again. I'm sorry hun but I can't!! And it's not like I don't want to please him, I just don't want to have to give him a BJ every day (or twice a day!) for the next two weeks.

Can any of you ladies think of something else I can do for him? Or some kind of compromise? TIA!!

Re: (long) need advice

  • Uh, the compromise is he calms the eff down while you're taking care of your business. Seriously... can't he wait a couple of weeks?
  • imageGator_Bride08:
    Uh, the compromise is he calms the eff down while you're taking care of your business. Seriously... can't he wait a couple of weeks?

    Seriously, he needs to wait.  Sounds very selfish. These things happen and he needs to understand there will be no sex for a bit.  Won't kill either of you guys Tell him it will be a good thing taking a little break, when you guys finally do get to have sex it will be that much more enjoyable.  Eh, I hate men like this, he needs to grow up.  Also tell him there are other things you can do then just have sex. Go on a date, go for walks, watch a movie, etc.  Real men shouldn't expect sex all the time.

    image
  • selfish. inconsiderate. tell him to grow up.
  • Uh, I've seen all of your other posts and you seem to have quite a bit of drama in your life for a 19 year old. 
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  • imagebandaG:

    I will try to make this as simple as possible. I went to my gyno about pain while I was going to the bathroom. Turns out, I have a bacteria. NOT and STD, just an infection of sorts. She gave me medication to take for the next 14 days, but I am not allowed to have sex until I am off it. Well, DH and I have sex very often, and being on this medicine sucks. The first day being on it was yesterday and DH couldn't deal with not being able to "do it." I gave him a BJ and he was sufficed. I tried to explain (for the 4th time) I can't have sex while on this medication. At first he offered to help in "other ways" so I said yes, even though it takes forEVER for me to finish that way-and I almost never do. He worked at it for like a half hour and got tired so we went to sleep, no big deal, I really don't care. But then this morning he said he wanted to have sex again. I'm sorry hun but I can't!! And it's not like I don't want to please him, I just don't want to have to give him a BJ every day (or twice a day!) for the next two weeks.

    Can any of you ladies think of something else I can do for him? Or some kind of compromise? TIA!!

    Let him use his own right hand. Or give him a handjob.

     I am guessing that he tried to manually stimulate  you and it didn't work -- have you ever masturbated? if not, start now -- and then show him what makes you feel good.

    You can also try phone sex.

    Or saltpeter. hehe

    Seriously, he needs to relax his sh!t --- suppose you're pregnant and your doc advises against pregnancy for the duration --- or you can't have sex due to one reason or another??

    This guy has to get it through his head that you are not a sex machine and that you're not there for sex at his demand. I strongly recommend counseling. GL.

  • Is your DH also 19 (or near that age)?  If so, he has very high levels of testosterone coursing through his veins, so his immature behavior isn't entirely unexpected.  And I might be off, but it sounds like you could have an infection that was (coincidentally enough) caused by too much sex.  Tell your man to settle down, praise Xenu for every BJ is able to receive in marital bliss, and otherwise get some new hobbies.  If that fails, buy him a bottle of lotion and tell him to have fun. 
  • imageTarponMonoxide:

    Seriously, he needs to relax his sh!t --- suppose you're pregnant and your doc advises against pregnancy for the duration --- or you can't have sex due to one reason or another??

    It'd be a little late for the doctor to advise against it at that point...

  • imagebandaG:

    I will try to make this as simple as possible. I went to my gyno about pain while I was going to the bathroom. Turns out, I have a bacteria. NOT and STD, just an infection of sorts. She gave me medication to take for the next 14 days, but I am not allowed to have sex until I am off it. Well, DH and I have sex very often, and being on this medicine sucks. The first day being on it was yesterday and DH couldn't deal with not being able to "do it." I gave him a BJ and he was sufficed. I tried to explain (for the 4th time) I can't have sex while on this medication. At first he offered to help in "other ways" so I said yes, even though it takes forEVER for me to finish that way-and I almost never do. He worked at it for like a half hour and got tired so we went to sleep, no big deal, I really don't care. But then this morning he said he wanted to have sex again. I'm sorry hun but I can't!! And it's not like I don't want to please him, I just don't want to have to give him a BJ every day (or twice a day!) for the next two weeks.

    Can any of you ladies think of something else I can do for him? Or some kind of compromise? TIA!!

    Is it a bladder infection or a urinary tract infection?  If it is...you should be careful what you're doing down there.  I didn't take it seriously the first few times I got them and it came back to bite me in the butt...got much worse.  So...for a few days at least I'd lay off any kind of stimulation for you.  And tell your man to cool it.  He should be able to go without for a couple weeks if it's to help you get better.

    Oh and if it's that kind of infection drink cranberry juice and tons of water (but i'm sure the doctor said that already)! 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • You're the same Nestie whose H will not and cannot spend any time with you.

     Sex is the least of your problems at this point -- eh, has he cut out the disappearing acts? And I still think this guy's having an affair.

  • This sounds like a bigger problem.  Sex isn't everything and it shouldn't be.  Most of your problems are probably because of the sex.  I know I get UTI's if I have too much in a short period of time.  Just like someone else said you need to be very careful about what you do down there.  The Dr said no sex that probably means put the gates up don't get near.  You can have more serious issues if this gets worse.  You need to tell him to grow up and get over it sex isn't the only thing in a marriage.
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  • imageTarponMonoxide:

    You're the same Nestie whose H will not and cannot spend any time with you.

     Sex is the least of your problems at this point -- eh, has he cut out the disappearing acts? And I still think this guy's having an affair.

    You're right I just realized that.

    So DH doesn't spend anytime with you, but the time he is home he just wants to screw like rabbits? hmmm. And you both are 19? Please tell me you two are in college or at least some forn of continuing education beyond high school. Why on Earth did you get married so young???

  • 1) There are things he can do *ahem* for himself when you are not up to it.  He needs to realize that your health is more important than Mr. Winky right now.  Hand jobs, phone sex, etc (like others have said) are also good ideas.

    2) He needs to stay away from that area in general if the whole problem is a bacterial infection and painful urination is a symptom, because this will only lead to more problems = more time with no sex for him. 

    3) If he keeps coming at you, slap him with a fish.  Seriously, girl, take care of your body and stick up for yourself.  He should be able to understand that and respect that.

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  • imageabrowneyedgirl4:
    imageTarponMonoxide:

    You're the same Nestie whose H will not and cannot spend any time with you.

     Sex is the least of your problems at this point -- eh, has he cut out the disappearing acts? And I still think this guy's having an affair.

    You're right I just realized that.

    So DH doesn't spend anytime with you, but the time he is home he just wants to screw like rabbits? hmmm. And you both are 19? Please tell me you two are in college or at least some forn of continuing education beyond high school. Why on Earth did you get married so young???

    Yep, I realized that right away.  See my first post to this thread...I think it's MUD.

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  • So DH doesn't spend any time with you, but the time he is home he just wants to screw like rabbits? hmmm. And you both are 19? Please tell me you two are in college or at least some forn of continuing education beyond high school. Why on Earth did you get married so young???

    This is whack in itself: he doesn't want to spend "face time" with you doing normal things, like having dinner or going shopping or talking to you...but he's rarin to go when he gets a boner and gets the urge?

    Your marriage has more problems than you're alluding to.

    This guy's got rocks in his head, im.

    Give serious thought to saying goodbye to this guy. He just doesn't understand what being a husband consists of. He's got no idea what a marriage concept is supposed to be.

    I still think he's having an affair -- really, his parents are calling him at 11:30 to come over? -- and there's just too much going on. He has no concept of what a marriage is to consist of. What he's doing is living a single guy's lifestyle with all the trimmings and perks of being married.

     

  • I'm sorry but it's like all of your posts don't make sense.  I think you are taking this whole message board by the horns and riding it out quite often.  Like pp's said, you need to make it clear to this child that you have to take care of your lady bits.  Does he not have self control?  My other question is, how can you possible have sex often enough to have to give him a blowjob everyday or for him to fiddle you for 30 minutes but yet you complained the other week that you don't see eachother often.  You are not that lonely, huh?
  • imageSolelyDama:
    I'm sorry but it's like all of your posts don't make sense.  I think you are taking this whole message board by the horns and riding it out quite often.  Like pp's said, you need to make it clear to this child that you have to take care of your lady bits.  Does he not have self control?  My other question is, how can you possible have sex often enough to have to give him a blowjob everyday or for him to fiddle you for 30 minutes but yet you complained the other week that you don't see eachother often.  You are not that lonely, huh?

    Horny is one thing but he's got to realize that his wife isn't a frigging blow up doll.

    And she needs to make it clear to him why it's no intercourse for the duration.

    So when IS this guy in the house? when he wants a slap and tickle from the wife? Wow, is this whole marriage of theirs ever screwed up.

  • Since my first post (about feeling lonely), DH and I talked and he has been home a lot more now. Even before that though, we had sex regularly. Like at night or before work in the morning. He would go out 3-4 times a week, not every night. And he wouldn't leave until 10 or 11, so most nights I was in bed by then reading or getting ready for work the next day. Anyway, we do like having sex, I like it too, it's not just him. I know we're both 19 and that's why we like to do it so much (especially him). Before I started taking my medication, we had sex a few times a day and we both like it. I have no problem satisfying him sexually even though I'm not allowed to do anything for myself for the next two weeks. I just wanted some suggestions on things I could do for him, which is why I posted. Thank you for your replies! We will definately try some of those things out! This morning on the way to work I explained to him I am more than happy to give him what I can for the next two weeks, but just not as often as ususal. It's kind of a pain and a tease for me and quite franky if I'm not getting anything out of it I don't really want to that much. He said that's ok and he'll just have to "suck it up like a big boy." We went three years without sex before we were married, two weeks isn't going to kill him (especially since it has to do with my health).

    So, again, thanks ladies! You're the best.

  • imagebandaG:

    Since my first post (about feeling lonely), DH and I talked and he has been home a lot more now. Even before that though, we had sex regularly. Like at night or before work in the morning. He would go out 3-4 times a week, not every night. And he wouldn't leave until 10 or 11, so most nights I was in bed by then reading or getting ready for work the next day. Anyway, we do like having sex, I like it too, it's not just him. I know we're both 19 and that's why we like to do it so much (especially him). Before I started taking my medication, we had sex a few times a day and we both like it. I have no problem satisfying him sexually even though I'm not allowed to do anything for myself for the next two weeks. I just wanted some suggestions on things I could do for him, which is why I posted. Thank you for your replies! We will definately try some of those things out! This morning on the way to work I explained to him I am more than happy to give him what I can for the next two weeks, but just not as often as ususal. It's kind of a pain and a tease for me and quite franky if I'm not getting anything out of it I don't really want to that much. He said that's ok and he'll just have to "suck it up like a big boy." /search/label/Mad%20Men?max-So, again, thanks ladies! You're the best.

     But he is STILL going out.

    Wow, you're really in denial, aren't you.

    BTW, has this little middle schooler of a prince bothered to eat what you cooked? He had an issue with that too, as per your previous post.

    I for one would like to know what is so wonderful about him that you decided to marry him at age 19.

    We went three years without sex before we were married, two weeks isn't going to kill him (especially since it has to do with my health).

    Duh. You were age 16 through age 19. AYFKM???

     

  • Well it is nice to hear that you have made an attempt to communicate yourself with him.  I just hope you understand that as a young married couple you will have to put up with a whole lot of messy topics.  I will be looking forword to your future post's.  GL.

  • I think he can wait. I was in the hospital for six weeks and then home on IV for 3 weeks. MH had no choice but to wait. He needs to understand that there is a reason why they tell you not to have sex.

  • I can't figure out what got these 2 together in the first place.
  • Have you ever heard of pelvic rest?  Many pregnant women have to do this.  Your H is a jerk.
  • Sounds like hes trying to be nice by offering to help you, but maybe explaining that you WANT to please him and can't in that specific way and that you don't like t taht he asks you to do it anyways because it makes you feel bad will help him to see he needs to just chill for a few weeks and be VERY grateful for the sexual attention he is getting.
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