Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Work update (soooo happy! Long!)
You have no idea how positive I am feeling right now.
It's clear my boss doesn't want me to leave because the talk went amazingly well.
I handed her everything I had written and said I could read it to her or she could read it. So she read it over while I sat there awkwardly then addressed each point.
1) Her behavior - she knows what she is like and said that there is no excuse for it. She said no matter how she feels, she has no right to speak to me like she does and she knows it is out of line. She said that she doesn't tell me often enough what a great job I do and she wants me to know she's never had an employee as good or as valuable as I am. She asked me if I would feel comfortable pointing out when she is rude to me and I told her I would, now that I know she knows it is out of line. She also promised to try and bite her tongue more often. She said she'll try to stop yelling at me from her office and actually come and ask me for things when she needs me.
2) Doing two jobs and not getting paid for it - She says she has been trying to think of how to make up for that. The money for the other job is funded by a foundation and she can't legally take money from it and give to me (it's more complicated but I won't go into it). She agrees that I am not being paid enough for what I do and said she's going to talk to the board president and see about getting me a raise ASAP. In addition, at the start of the next fiscal year (in october) she is going to demand that I get a raise, even if she doesn't get one herself.
3) Vacation - She agreed that 1 paid week a year is not fair either and is going to also talk to the board about getting me at least another paid week. Those rules were written in 1991 and are way too outdated. I also told her that I haven't fairly been compensated for OT. I have taken it hour for hour and not at time and a half, so she owes me days off for that.
4) Baby - I told her that I would like 4 months off - October 15-Feb 14. She didn't tell me for sure if she could give me that right now but I told her my reasonings and is going to look into what most people take. I told her that the state will pay 60% of my salary for 16 weeks and she actually said she's going to see if they'll pay the other 40%. I told her I didn't expect that at all but she said she's willing to do it for someone she values and is planning on actually just having an intern during the time I'm gone so won't be paying anyone for my job or will be paying very little. That would be amazing if all my time off is paid!!!
In addition, I told her I would like to work one day a week from home because MIL has offered to do a day and daycares around here charge for 3 days or less or 5 days or less so that would save us money. She didn't seem to have a problem with that. She also said I can bring the baby into work at first if I want to save on childcare (depending on how she is of course) and if I ever need to bring her in because she's sick and can't go to daycare or daycare is closed, etc, it will never be a problem.
So, I don't think it could have gone any better. She knows that I won't continue to work here after having the baby if her behavior does not improve so I will see how it is and re-evaluate again later down the road.
Thanks for all of your support!!!
Re: Work update (soooo happy! Long!)
That is so totally awesome! I'm very proud that you did it! I am like you when it comes to confrentation, so i understand how hard it is.
I really really really hope that she is serious and that in the moment when she's upset and she speaks to you badly it doesn't esclate when you call her out. I'm sure that this is a step in the right direction.
Yay for more vacation, a raise AND the time off after you have Lucie.
Oh happy day!
Lots of good news, Caroline! I'm so glad to hear all of this!
Now, just hold her to it! Did she say when she'll have a chance to talk to the board about these things? I do understand that she may not have the power to make some of these changes herself, but I hope that she talks to them ASAP instead of making excuses to put it off.
Our Blog!
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
She wrote a note on her calendar to call the board president about it ASAP. I think she will - esp as she knows I'm not happy with the current situation and she could lose me. She's also been calling around today asking about childcare from various people, lol!
Good! Glad to hear it.
Our Blog!
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Baby #2 - D&E - 10/1/10 @ 19w2d - thanatophoric dysplasia confirmed.
Charlotte Lillian will be forever in our hearts.
Baby #3 - Little Bean - natural miscarriage - 1/17/11 @ 5w5d
That's great Caroline! I hope she follows through!
OH MY GOSH CAROLINE THIS IS SUCH GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we are all so thrilled for you. you deserve all this and more for what you've put up with. yayy!!