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Hhhmm... Really?
I'm just talking a lot to some awesome people who will listen. =]
Little sis got engaged less than a week ago. 3 days ago, to be exact. I'm the matron of honor -- yay!
Anyway, I got an email from her future MIL today. She's decided it's up to the two of us to plan a bridal shower, and she thinks March is a good time. (They're getting married next May.) She's pretty sure she'll have 22 and she wants to rent out the lobby of a bank or something like that.
Okay. So here are my first reactions:
1. They've been engaged 3 days. They're not getting married for 11 months. We need to be planning a shower that's 9 months away?
2. They're planning on inviting literally 30 people to their wedding, and don't want a big reception after that. Isn't it against etiquette to invite people to a shower who aren't invited to the wedding?
I know this isn't TheKnot, but since we all just went through this -- perhaps you ladies have some thoughts coming more from experience. TIA!
Re: Hhhmm... Really?
Wow. She is really excited....you're right though, totally rude to invite someone to a shower and not to the wedding. Hopefully she will back down a little.
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Might be too early to start booking things for MARCH! It's a shower, not a reception.
Yes, I agree that it's more than tacky to be invited to a shower and not the wedding. If you want my further reactions, read down a few posts to my experiences a week ago about being invited/uninvited/partially invited. It sucks as a guest and hurts as a friend.
At the very least, I would suggest saying something along the lines of how excited you are to plan these events with her, but having the couple totally nail down a wedding invitation list is a must before inviting people (or even mentioning!) to a shower.
Good Luck!
Yes, entirely too early to be planning a bridal shower. And, seriously? Inviting people to the bridal shower that will not be invited to the wedding? That is a major faux pas!Like pp's said, bring her back down to earth and set her straight. To me, that just seems gift grabby on the MIL's part.
Does your sister know about this? I believe you need to clue her in on the situation.
Meh... it doesn't really surprise me. H and I are in a wedding in May and when they got engaged this past October, they immediately asked the bridal party and told us when their engagement party was (this past Memorial Day weekend). So that is what 8 months notice?
But definitely bring her FMIL back to Earth that they don't want to have a big wedding and you're only supposed to invite those to any pre-wedding functions that are actually invited to the wedding. And if they are only planning on inviting 30 people... then I'm sure a majority of those 22 people won't be invited.
EDIT: I also think renting out the lobby of a bank is pretty strange? Is that even normal let alone allowed for security reasons? I worked in a bank for a while in college and I NEVER saw a function being held in a bank lobby...
I totally missed that part! A bank lobby?! That is weird...
I totally missed that as well! That is very strange and I can't see that as actually being allowed.
The odd thing is that at another bank over here, after hours, they set up an art exhibit for the local high schools. All the desks were locked in offices and there's a door dividing the lobby from the teller stations -- which were all closed. There was also a security guard, of course.
I thought it was odd to want to have a shower there, but hey -- what do I know?!
To add to the faux paus guest list -- her FMIL actually suggested we invite everyone to a shower and put a note in the invite that "the couple will be married in a private, destination ceremony with close family." My sister and I went, DO WHAT?!