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Etiquette dilemma re: gifted jewelry. WWYD?
A woman I know from my volunteer work gave me several pieces of jewelry that she can no longer wear. She got these from her husband years ago (he has since died and she's in her late 60s), and she gave them to me b/c she knows I like sapphires (I have 2 sapphires in my E-ring).
I was touched that she thought of me, and I sent her a nice thank you note. But now I'm torn about what to do with the pieces--I'm not a fan of yellow gold, so I won't wear them as they are (and I don't really wear any rings other than my wedding set--she have me two rings and a bracelet).
I've thought about having the stones set into something else (pendant, maybe?) but somehow it seems wrong to rip apart the jewelry her husband bought. I thought of selling them and donating the money back to the charity (but that seems really wrong, selling something given to me as a gift).
So WWYD with these pieces? Are there options I haven't thought of?
The Fluffy Cat says... "Boxes are the best toys ever invented!"
Re: Etiquette dilemma re: gifted jewelry. WWYD?
If she was that concerned about the jewelry - she wouldn't have given it away to someone (a) who she isn't related to or (b) without stipulating that she wanted it left that way.
I say have some earrings made with the knowledge that she's happy the stones are being worn. I'm sure she didn't give them to you to lament over whether or not to enjoy them however you choose. And if she wanted them sold and the money donated to the charity - she could have handled that on her own or asked you for help in doing so.
My last thought: You could ask her. "I love the sapphires you gave me and I understand they have some meaning for you. I would like for them to match some of my other pieces and would like to have them re-set. Would it offend you if I had the stones re-set? I wanted to ask you first."
You could casually mention that you might like to add them to your rings some day or turn them into an anniversary ring. You might not want to do this but it's something plenty of people will do, probably even people she knows. That way you can gently introduce the idea of reworking the pieces. Her response should indicate if she's ok with you taking the pieces apart or not. If she gives a positive response you could show her a few photos of settings you're considering. If her response isn't positive I'd just put the pieces away for a year or two, then reasses the situation.
Also, do the rings need to be resized? Or anything repaired? Based on that cost alone you can probably justify just spending the money to have them reset.
A gift is a gift. They obviously weren't family heirlooms or anything. I think the idea of having the stones reset into something else is a great idea.
I get them reset into something or have them dipped in white gold. But I always go back to the fact that jewelry, especially precious stones, are meant to be worn... find something that suits you and move on. (see this post for my story)
Thanks everyone for the responses... I probably will see about having the stones re-set later this year.
I think I've just been overly sensitive on the "etiquette" of this b/c I'm concerned about the woman's health (when she gave me the pieces it kind of felt like she was starting to give away her possessions 'cause she didn't think she'd be around much longer...and now she's actually going in for a major surgery next week).
The Fluffy Cat says... "Boxes are the best toys ever invented!"