May 2010 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Random question
How often do you talk to your mother?
I was talking to mine frequently during the wedding-planning, but before I got engaged (or, rather, before she realized that I was going to plan the wedding with her help or without it) and since I've been married, I talk to her about once a week.
I ask because extended family, family friends, etc. always seem to assume that I talk to my folks multiple times a day or something. And my mom went all passive-aggressive on me this weekend because I don't visit enough. Am I that odd? What's typical?
Re: Random question
The Benhams: Married May 1st, 2010!
I talk to my mom 3 to 5 times a week depending on what is going on. We are talking a lot right now because of my lil sis and we are worried about her. Wedding was everyday pretty much except Sundays I don't know why not sundays it was just what we did. She lives on the other side off the country.
Every mom/daughter relationship is different. I talk to my mom 3-4 times per week and they only live an hour away so I see her at least twice a month, if not more. Yes, I talked to her more and saw her more before the wedding, but that was out of necessity.
I think the expectation that we know everything our parents know is common. I get that all the time too: "did your mom tell you ___?" or "i told your dad i would be in town, i thought he told you." I wouldn't worry about it from that standpoint. But it's unfortunate that your mom had to play the passive-aggressive guilt trip card on you. I hope you guys can work through that.
Haha, yeah. My aunt's trying to arrange for all of the ladies in the family to go out to eat, and she asks me if my mom would be interested. Um... you have her email and phone number, Aunt Karen, so why are you asking me what my mother would think? It's just odd to me.
As for the passive-aggressive, she just is this way. She'll be great for a while, and then she'll become awful for a while. Apparently she's gearing up for a nasty stretch. It's been this way my whole life. We've talked about it a million times, and she always promises to do better and never does. At this point I try to accept our relationship for what it is. Matt and I are determined to build a family that is not based in manipulation, guilt, and personal attacks the way both of ours were (his more so than mine).
Hmmm...it really depends. It can vary from talking a few times a day, to going a few weeks without talking. I think right now it's been about a week since I've talked to her. One thing about my mom is that she never, never, EVER calls me. Like ever. If I didn't call her, I would probably only talk to her twice a year. haha. She is just not a phone person, I think it doesn't occur to her to pick up the phone and call. I have asked her why she never calls me, and she said "Why would I need to? You call me all the time" LOL I love my mom, she is a random random lady.
I tend to call her more during the schoolyear because she taught kindergarten and grade one for 30 years, and that is what I teach too, so I constantly call her for ideas and opinions. I also call her almost every time I cook or bake anything, because she is amazing in the kitchen. Actually, any time I attempt anything, because I truly don't think there is anything that my mom CAN'T do. She is just one of those ladies.
I also have two sisters, and it is really rare that a day goes by where I don't talk to one of them. I talk to my sisters WAY more than I talk to my mom. None of us ever talk to my brother, haha.
What's kind of weird is that Adam is the complete opposite of that. He talks to his family at least once a day... not many guys like to talk on the phone, especially to family, but he does. If he goes outside to smoke a cigarette, he doesn't like to sit out there by himself, so he'll randomly call someone.
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
Married May 1st, 2010
My grandparents lived next door when I was growing up as well. I think I spent more time there than I did at my own house! Especially when I would get in trouble for something, I would immediately head out the door to their place where I would get spoiled rotten. Haha, I think my parents hated it sometimes! No matter what kind of trouble I got myself into, my grandparents never ever ever got mad at me. I love them to pieces and miss them so much!
Awww! Some of my cousins got to live just down the hill from our grandparents, and I was always a little jealous. Grandma and Grandpa were really a part of their lives, and I always felt left out. Of course, my brother and I were the only grandkids on my mom's side, so we are really, really close with her parents. I go up to visit them whenever I can because they are some of the most fun people in the world to sit and talk to.
Apparently I really am a bad daughter and just didn't know it! My folks live an hour away, and I've only been up to see them once since the wedding. I also saw my mom at a baby shower on Sunday. I don't have that much to talk about and neither do they. I get so tired of Mom going "So nothing else is new...?" whenever we talk. What am I supposed to say? I really don't live an exciting life of international espionage and intrigue, and I get really sick of her asking that question on repeat when I've exhausted all of my news. And some things are really just none of their d@mn business.