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My Husband and Sex Advice Please
Hey Ladies,
I am usually just a lurker, but I really need some advice. My husband and I have been married for almost a year, and he wants to have sex all the TIME!!! It is never ending. If we do not have sex it is like a fight. I am like come on now, is it that serious. I work a lot of hours like 60 a week, plus in grad school.
I do a lot of the house work because I am very picky on how I want my house. Not only that he is not that good in the bedroom. I mean there are times when it is good, but most of the time it is quick and a waste of my time. I do not want to say that because it would be mean. I have tried to give him hints but he does not catch on.
How do I tell him nicely like you are not that good in the bed and I am not very interested in sex. This is the only issue in our marriage.
Thanks for the advice please do not be to harsh J
Re: My Husband and Sex Advice Please
This.
Just tell him. Not: "You suck in the bedroom", but: "Do this instead" "Put you hands here" "Let's go slow"
Open communication is the only way to get what you want.
I don't think wanting to have sex a lot is a "man" thing. I am female, and I want to have sex a lot.
If you want more foreplay (so it's not a waste of your time as you said), then I'd say "honey, I'm really open to having more sex, but I'm not really into having quickies, can we add a little foreplay before-hand to rev things up a bit"
How often is "all the time".
If there's something you don't like that he's doing then tell him "don't do that do this!" how is he supposed to know how to BE good in bed if you don't tell him what you like and what you don't like?
Wanting sex a lot isn't exclusively a man thing, but most men want sex a lot.
Communication. Communication. Communication. The end.
What the heck happened to communication????
You need to sit down with him and have a frank and honest talk. Make sure you include the fact that you work a lot and that sometimes you are just too tired and/or in no mood to have sex -- make sure you stress that it's not him.
You need to show him what feels good and what does not. "honey it'd be hotter if you touched me here..." or something like that.
There are instruction manauals for couples. Go check some of them out.
Do not be harsh?
Hunny, theres no "nice" way to tell your husband, of one year if I may add, that you don't enjoy sex with him...
If you all don't start communication this marriage will not last.
this...
How about you tell him what you enjoy in bed, what makes you feel good. If you fool around for a bit you can recognize the sensations you will enjoy the most and it would make sex a lot more interesting. But with all honesty, if you don't try it wont work.
Hey Ladies,
I just want to tell you all thank you for comments. I used them last night and sex was amazing! J I just needed to know how to say it without being harsh or mean. We did talk about the sex issue, he was very understandable regarding my needs. Thanks again!
Have an honest discussion with him. You don't have to say "You suck in bed sometimes", but you CAN say "Sometimes I wish we'd do ___ or ___ because it was really great when we've done it before".
It'll be easier when you tell him.
If this isn't an exaggeration, and I'm 99% sure that it is, you should do him a favor and suggest a divorce so that he may escape this colossal mistake.
If my wife was not interested in sex and did not enjoy having sex with me, I would definitely reconsider my marriage. Not that sex is the only point of a marriage, but it sure is a big part of one.
Again, assuming you are not exaggerating.
Join our wiki and tell us what your baby eats for finger foods.
I would set up a meeting with him to talk about it. Set up a time, make it for a few days from the day you set it up. This will help him realize that you want to have a SERIOUS conversation with him.
When you sit down with him, be very careful about the words you choose, as you don't want to blame him for these problems.
First, I would tell him that it is very upsetting to you when fights break out over not having sex. (For me personally, I felt like I was being used). I would suggest that porn is a more healthy alternative to hurting your feelings.
Second, I would make the suggestion that you prefer quality over quantity. (Maybe don't put it quite like that). Tell him you'd be much happier having sex half the number of times, but when you do have it to double or even triple the time.
And as other posters have said, communication is key. Tell him what you do and don't like. If you have a hard time talking, maybe have a few drinks before you go at it to loosen you up.
Sex should be fun, not a chore!