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Suggestions for increased libido?
It's been two years since I've been married, and I would say my sex life has been awesome. I was very sexual and forward for the first year of our marriage, but things are different now.
I had a very bad winter; I felt very depressed and unmotivated, so I'm wondering if I have SAD. Regardless, my sexual drive definitely decreased over the winter to the point where I would have sex with my husband just to satisfy him. Since spring has arrived and we've talked about this issue, things have gotten much better and I have started to enjoy sex a lot more often now.
However, I still feel like I don't get turned on or aroused as often as I used to. I know this probably has to do with "the honeymoon being over" and "real life" getting in the way of things, but I don't want to let my libido slide. Does anyone have suggestions on improving my desire? What has worked for you in the past? (FYI, we won't do porn!)
Re: Suggestions for increased libido?
You need a full checkup. Something is misfiring and it might be biological. SAD should have faded with the presence of summer, so it is unlikely to be the cause. Did you change birth control methods? Have you had a recent thyroid test? Have you had any stressful life events? Unemployment, moving, parental issues? Those can really affect libido.
The big thing is to turn to your DH and tell him how much you love him, that you haven't been feeling as sexual as normal but that you are going to put effort into finding the cause. Tell him that you find him really sexy and are dying to get back to the hot sex life you had before, so you are going to start trying to get to the bottom of it. (Just say everything you would want your DH to say to you if the situation were reversed)
It's a mental thing. You need to start thinking of sexy things you two have done in the past around noon. I have to start 'gearing up' for sex long before it happens for me to be in the mood. But then, all I have to see is my DH's butt through his jeans and I start getting in the mood. Sometimes it's easy for me and other times I have to work for it.
Maybe you two could do with a romantic weekend at a bed and breakfast.