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XP: Questions for the NYC Mamas
Hey Mamas,
I don't currently live in New York, but DH is heading out there for a job interview next week and it's looking pretty likely he'll get the job and we'll make the biggest move of our lives!
That being said.. I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and am not entirely sure how this will impact DD and I ..
Mostly, how hard is it to
be a SAHM in the city with no car? I'm not a SAHM now, but I will be if
we make the move.. Which will be quite the shock to the system to me..
Also, I've had a car since I was a teenager and can't imagine having to
do my grocery shopping, errand running, Target/Costco runs without one.
I imagine our apartment in the city would be so small Costco wouldn't
be an option anymore.. But what about the other things? How do you all
do it? Will I look like an idiot walking down the street with my little
red wagon, baby and groceries? Also, do you as a mom feel
safe/comfortable just walking down the street with LO? Everyone tells
me NYC is scary and dirty/unsafe, etc.. I'm not scared by any means, I
just want to know what we might be getting ourselves into 
Thanks!
Re: XP: Questions for the NYC Mamas
Well, I'm not a mom yet, but I can answer some of your other questions.
People who tell you NY is scary/dirty/unsafe have obviously only seen NY on shows like Law & Order, rather than actually been here and spent any time where people really LIVE. Like any location, there are neighborhoods that are not so nice (but even Kansas and Kentucky have neighborhoods like that!) and there are really nice neighborhoods. It upsets me when people make generalizations about NY based on what they seen in the movies. It's actually the safest big city in America (http://www.nypost.com/p/news/regional/item_KwpQPtSU9ivJn69UinZMWM)
Also, unless you are living in Manhattan, you can absolutely have a car. And depending on where you live, a car might be a necessity. I am in Queens, not along a subway line, and if I didn't have a car I couldn't survive. You can even have a car in Manhattan, if you have the money to afford a garage (which can be the same as rent in other cities).
It sounds like moving to one of the boroughs (Queens, Brooklyn, SI or the Bronx) would be less of a drastic change for you. You can have a normal size apartment, keep your car, and take plenty of trips to Costco with room to store things. Manhattan is great, but it much, much different than the Pacific Northwest.
Where are you planning to live?
I'm not a mom either, but I wanted to jump in too. I moved from suburban Rhode Island about 4 years ago. The thought of not having a car was really scary for me. We moved in to Manhattan, and tried to keep it, with street parking. Garage parking can be found for as little as $200 a month, but that goes up, and up, and up...depending on the location. We did street parking, and with street cleaning, you have to move the car 4 times a week. It ended up taking SO much of my time (anywhere from a 1/2 hour to 1 1/2 hours) to find a new spot. We sold the car 3 months after moving here, and lived for almost 4 years without one. The other issue is that car insurance is REALLY expensive here. If you have a car payment, plus insurance, you can rent a car once a month for a weekend, for about the same price. There is also Zip car, which is car rental by the hour.
As for grocery shopping, one of my favorite parts of moving to NY was Fresh Direct. Your order groceries on line, and they are delivered to your home in a 2 hour window of time. I LOVE it!
It will definitely be an adjustment, but I'll say, I love living here!
Good luck, and let us know if you have any other questions!
Amy
Hey there...I'm not a mom (except to two kitties) but just wanted to say hi from a fellow PNW girl (I'm from Tacoma!)
I also had a car throughout most of my teens/twenties. We don't have one now (we live in Manhattan) and I don't miss it AT ALL. Pretty much anything you'd have to haul around in a car, you can get delivered here (and it is often the norm to do so - definitely groceries, a PP mentioned FreshDirect....Trader Joe's also delivers for a very small charge). Even my local pet store hauls my heavy kitty litter up to my apartment for free (well, a tip!)
I love not having to worry about parking, car insurance, etc. It definitely frees up some cash, too! We walk or take the subway everywhere and it's awesome.
Anyway...like I said, I'm not a parent so I have no idea how it would be with a child, but the car-less life really is not so bad. And as for safety, I have really never felt unsafe here. Even if I'm running alone at night or something, there are always people around!
Good luck with your (probable) move - and if/when you do end up here, come hang out with us!
Last Race: California International Marathon - December 4, 2011 - 3:29:18, 7:59 pace
Next Race: ARun for Young 5K - January 7, 2012
Mrs. Kocal-
the funny thing is, when I am traveling and meet new people who are so "amazed" that I live in NYC (the big scary place), I convert them very quickly when I tell them about FD. As grocery shopping used to be my least favorite chore, I'm thrilled that it's gone!
Like Mrs. Kocal, I'm a mom to be, so I can only speak to my plans. We live in Manhattan and don't have a car and would not want one - too much of a hassle in Manhattan. We rent cars when necessary, but we also get to most places we need to go outside the city on Amtrak or commuter rails. We also just signed up for Zipcar because it was cheaper than renting for an upcoming weekend trip. We may end up using it for some bigger diaper runs and such once the baby is here.
You wouldn't look funny at all rolling down the sidewalk with baby and groceries. Though space is tighter here, so aisles are smaller, and I expect to run errands like that with baby in a carrier instead of a stroller (but that is just my personal preference, I see a ton of people with strollers). And it will depend on the neighborhood that you plan to live in, but it's a very safe city, with many many people always out and about, so I know I will feel safe just going around me and baby while I'm off from work.
I moved here about 9 years ago and I know a lot of my family expecting me to move out to the suburbs once we had a baby, but I think nyc is an amazing place for a baby, so much to experience! Good luck with the decision!
I can respond to pretty much all of your questions. I am currently a "SAHM" (quotes because I do work from home occasionally).
Things like grocery shopping or errands do tend to take a bit more planning. You need to plan for what you can carry. There are many stores/grocery shops that deliver your groceries to home for a small fee...even in the outer bouroughs. I know in our neighborhood both pet stores and grocery stores do. But, we don't really have the space to stock up on tons of supplies - we just buy as we need.
Also, there are some neighborhoods that are much more family friendly than others. But that decision is a whole other topic! We live in an incredibly family friendly neighborhood - and having a new baby/being a new mom has opened up a whole new world or activities and people to meet. I feel incredibly comfortable walking down the street with my baby - but I do wear him much more than using the stroller. Its just easier for me. That being said - this city is filled with moms & strollers. There are plenty of days when I'm walking down the street with baby in the moby wrap, backpack/diaper bag on my back and grocery bags in hand...it's doable and no one will really pay attention. Nothing is too ridiculous or shocking to NY'ers
NYC is not scary or unsafe....you just need to use common sense. Check out the book City Baby (i know there is a manhattan and brooklyn version). It will really give you a sense of the opportunities and activities and things involving having a baby in the city.
Thanks for the info ladies!! It helps a lot.
Mrs. Kocal - We're actually probably going to look mostly in Brooklyn, in the Park Slope area? That is where the folks DH would work for said they live and they recommend. I haven't done a ton of research on it though, as I don't want to jump the gun
I do worry about the car insurance part.. DH read online that someone who has a honda civic pays $1600 a year... for 1 car.. That is what we pay for 2 cars and renters insurance! I imagine as long as we found somewhere that's near a lot of subway lines, we'd be OK with just rental cars and zipcars.. We have Zipcar here in Portland, so I'm familiar with it.
Thanks for the info on Fresh Direct and Trader Joe's... We have TJ's here, but I usually only go there for my $3 wine
I live in the Park Slope area. There's another mom on this board who also lives in the neighborhood. I highly recommend it. If you have any specific questions and do end up moving here, PM me. I'd be happy to help, give more info and meet up once you do get settled in! This is a perfect neighborhood for young families!
good luck to your DH and the job.
We don't have a car - but having a car in this neighborhood isn't as bad as the city. there is free on street parking and you only really have to move your car once a week.
You should check out Amazon Subscribe & Save for diapers.. I haven't bought diapers at the store since LO was about a month old. I just get them delivered, it's free for delivery and way more convenient.. and the price is better than you can get at any store
Yes, car insurance is ridiculous out here - my DH is from Cali and almost died when he found out what his new insurance payment was. As long as you are near public transportation (ideally two or more subway lines) you really should be fine without a car.
Here I am (the other Park Slope mom)
I think Park Slope might possibly be the best neighborhood in the country for stay at home mom's! And I am only exaggerating a little bit. There is so much to do here, sing a longs, story times, playgroups, indoor playspaces, Ymca's, plus a plethora of studio classes. I have been home since my daughter was born and am heading back to work at the end of the summer. I can honestly say I was never bored! Some times we had to take a day off from all the socializing.
As far as logistics, we have no car, and don't want one. It would be nice for getting out of the city, but otherwise a PITA. I order most of our groceries on line, but when i do go, I generally carry dd in a carrier. No, no one will look at you funny with a little red wagon! Not here, at least! I live in a walk up, so there is the schlepping aspect, but third floor is better than fourth!
Tovachava - Thanks for chiming in! It helps to see that other moms in Park Slope get by without a car as well!
When you go back to work, will you put DD in day care or have a nanny come in or something else? DH and I have talked about me being a SAHM and while he doesn't care either way, and we can afford for me to stay home.. I'm not 100% sure I WANT to stay home.. at least not permanently/full time.. but my other concern is, is it going to be a PITA to take DD to daycare on the way to work with no car? Mostly I worry about the winter and snow, etc.. I'm sure it'll all work out, but I'm a worry wart!!
I'm excited to see there are so many friendly ladies in NYC and that hopefully we won't have any problems fitting in..
Now, he just needs to land the job
Fingers crossed everyone! 
No problem!
Our daycare is about three blocks away, and there was another one even closer, There are several spread through out the neighborhood, so it isn't really a pain. Proximity to us was priority for me, because I don't want to lose anytime with her because of commuting. Lots of people do nannys too, but I was more comfortable iwth a daycare, as I am a teacher, and like the socialization aspect. I also like having more than one caregiver.
Glad to hear that there are a lot of daycares around. DD is in daycare right now and we LOVE it. She loves the interaction she gets, and I also like having more than one caregiver (that way, she doesn't get super attached to 1 person too) .. When/if the time comes, I may be asking for daycare recommendations!
Thanks for the tip! I have heard about this and I do love the idea of just having them delivered.
And can I just say to Liza and Tova - you almost have me convinced about Park Slope! DH and I may need to look into the neighborhood next time our lease is up.