Sex & Romance
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Sex lacking in newlywed marriage

Both my husband and I are two healthy and active individuals in our mid-20s. I am a very sexual woman, but my husband (of 1 yr) is completely opposite. We have been together for 2 1/2 yrs, married for 1 yr. Our sex life has always been somewhat lacking, but only now have I really noticed it. We only have sex about 5 times a month! We have 2 kids, 7 and 4, we're both employed, and everything is going fine, except for our sex life. I've tried talking to him about it, and all he says is that all I want to do is have sex. I can't help it, my husband is hot!!! I don't know, it's like I'm the guy and he's the girl when it comes to our sex life. Please help!!!

Re: Sex lacking in newlywed marriage

  • I feel the same way with my marriage! My husband and I have been married a year, and have been together four years. Our sex life was great until just before we were married, and now it seems like I have to beg for it! I started wondering if there was something wrong with me, I have a very high sex drive! I wish I could slip him some viagra with out him knowing!
  • LOL about the Viagra! I have had the same thought a few times! My Hubby and I have the same trouble, role reversal. We have been married only a month now (together for 2.5 years) but this has been an ongoing problem for me too. BUT, (I hope this makes you feel a little better) we have sex an average of once a month!  I have brought it up when it gets to be an issue, and he sometimes will help a sista out. I have found that having a hobby-something I love to do-helps take my mind off things for a while.
    Mrs Honey!
  • This happens, people get busy, have busy jobs.  I can imagine it got crazier and time got even more scarce with the kiddos, but DH and I set up date nights a few times a month to reconnect.  There are days we don't want to be touched since we are so tired from work, is your husband over worked or just tired? We work a lot, and we didn't have any other choice to do it that way to get away from "regular life".  Could you get a baby sitter a few times a month, and have a small date together?
    image
  • . Our sex life has always been somewhat lacking, but only now have I really noticed it.

    Nope. You mean you thought he would change into a in insatiable raving sexual animal once that piece of jewelry got slipped onto his finger.

    And bear in mind that once you're together for awhile, passion wanes...and so can the frequency of your sex life.

     

  • Why is this a "role reversal"?  This is a stupid myth that men are sex fiends and women are not.  Marry someone with whom you are compatible.  It's as simple as that.  Dur!
  • This is normal part of living together and being married...Its just that you cannot get lazy about your sexual relationship...You gotta turn off the tv ,get off the computer and set the mood: put some romatic music on, get freshly showered and start with some foreplay and take your time touching and carresing each other..

    ..you may have to set a specific time or something like that.....its easy to get caught up in other things...make your sex life a priority! If laundry and cooking and grocery shopping is a priority...so is making love to your partner.....

    Photobucket
  • I'm the exact same. I have a sex drive like a 16 year old boy. I've had to learn to just deal with it, because when he wants it and I (already) want it, it's super hot. We've only  been married a couple weeks, but we've been together for 7 years next month... We use to have sex a lot more often a few years ago, but now it's about 2-3 times a week. That's mostly because I initiate it.
  • Marriage isn't all about sex...I understand wanting to have sex with your partner...BUT you shouldn't obsess so much about it...Thats probably why he doesn't seem interested.
  • OMG I thought I was the only young lady dealing with this issue. My husband and I were together for 4 yrs prior to our marriage and we have been married for 8 months I think we've had sex about 20x in the eight months that we're been married. Our sex life died down about 6 months into the relationship due to my hubby's lack of desire. I know he loves me and we are both very tired etc but this has been getting old for like 4.5 years now. What can I do to change this? He is very content with things being the way they are. We have sex approximately 1x every 3 week and thats with alot of begging on my part.
  • imagejonesdouglas:
    Marriage isn't all about sex...I understand wanting to have sex with your partner...BUT you shouldn't obsess so much about it...Thats probably why he doesn't seem interested.

    Agree with this 100%.. People focus too much on it.  There are other aspects of a marriage if you don't have in order why bother with sex.

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  • imageriderpunk:

    imagejonesdouglas:
    Marriage isn't all about sex...I understand wanting to have sex with your partner...BUT you shouldn't obsess so much about it...Thats probably why he doesn't seem interested.

    Agree with this 100%.. People focus too much on it.  There are other aspects of a marriage if you don't have in order why bother with sex.

    Definitely agree with this. And the other ladies have some good tips as well. You could also try talking to him about how you feel. Good communication is part of a healthy marriage as well.

    image
    Anniversary
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • imageTarponMonoxide:

    . Our sex life has always been somewhat lacking, but only now have I really noticed it.

    Nope. You mean you thought he would change into a in insatiable raving sexual animal once that piece of jewelry got slipped onto his finger.

    And bear in mind that once you're together for awhile, passion wanes...and so can the frequency of your sex life.

     

     

    Agree. It always surprises me how many people expect something to magically change after marriage whether it be sex, household chores, or wanting a baby etc.

  • I can totally relate to you.  DH just doesn't initiate sex.  He's okay with doing it once or twice a month. He's also in residency right now, meaning he works 60-70 hours a week, which doesn't help!

    Also he was a virgin when we got married, so he's not used to having sex on a regular basis.  I'm the total opposite..all of my past relationships included frequent and great sex, so of course I miss that.

    I've tried a bunch of different things, but nothing really helps. 

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