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starting to really stress out
Last year my husband got laid off from work and started working as a independant contractor for what he thought was a good collegue of his, not so much. HH's dad, is very well off and said that he would help us out financially and has been. I do have a new job, and make good money so I am keeping up with my half of expenses/bills. We bought a house last year before all this crazyiness of job, wedding and such started, and got lucky getting a great deal on a new home. Unfortunately, with the stock market crashing and doing so poorly HH's dad has said that he can only help us out till the end of the year financially. HH is a "lobbyist"-Government Affairs" and well that industry is not hiring alot of folks. I am worried that come next year we will only have enough money for a couple of months to make the mortage. HH is super stressed and feels that the weight of the world is on his shoulders. I don't know what to do our how else I can help, I work 8-5 M-F and could work weekends I guess, but this past weekend this stress and pressure is getting to HH and starting to stress us both out. I really don't know what to do, we don't have enough equity in the house to make it worth while to sell the house. I have recommened that we come November, look at leasing it out and we down size to something. All this has pissed HH off and stressing him out even more. I feel like all I can do is be quiet, smile and say nothing about all this.
just had to vent....
Re: starting to really stress out
Ugh! So sorry to hear about all of that. I can only imagine how stressful that must all be.
I'm sorry to hear that your HH is even more stressed out about it all. I know that a lot of men (like mine) take the whole "providing" responsibility very seriously and can go into a spiral if they feel like they're not able to do that. Hopefully he won't let that depress him and will instead use it as an incentive to find other options.
Is your husband bringing in any money? Perhaps he should find full time work wherever possible, before you worry about taking on a second job. I don't think it's fair for you to be working over 40 hours a week if he isn't.
You need to get to a point where you don't need any financial help from anyone else ASAP. Something may come up where family might suddenly have to stop helping you out, and you don't want to have major problems if that happens!
Have you guys started cutting back on unnecessary expenses? Cable TV? Cutting back on coffee, going out to eat, stuff like that?
mint.com is a great resource for money management and budgeting
I would try not to panic yet - have you got a budget already? If not, I would definitely recommend this as a first step. Be proactive and stop spending any extra cash on those little things like your morning coffee or impulse purchases. It is the little $3, 4, 5 things that add up! Instead, take all that cash and put it into a special account (or hide it under your mattress if that's what it takes to prevent you from spending it) and that will be your emergency mortgage fund if needed. If worse comes to worse, take on a dog walking job on the weekends - the bonus being that you can do it together and you'll get exercise too!
I'm not trying to sound glib about this, I'm just saying that God has a way of opening windows when he looks like he's closing doors.
We'll all keep your fingers crossed for you!
If you guys don't have kids, I'd take this opportunity right now for both of you to work AS MUCH as possible & start socking away some money for when HH's dad can't help you out.
I agree with Hayley, if your HH isn't working his share, he should probably be the one to pick up a second job or attempt to find a better primary job. I know HH & I are kind of going through some transitions with our work situations too right now, and it feels like we are NEVER able to get ahead. It stinks.
Definitely cut back on the unneccesaries like cable, eating out, that kind of thing. Cut coupons, but be careful to only clip the ones you'd normally purchase, not just something you wouldn't normally buy (but found a great coupon for, if that makes sense.) I know a friend of mine who shops lots at Walgreens and has actually made purchases and in the end, THEY OWE HER MONEY! Isn't that crazy? There's ways to do that kind of thing, you just have to explore them.
Good luck, do remember it is tight/tough everywhere, and the sucky job market is making people who made twice as much before, take min wage jobs, but at least it's something.
Married May 1st, 2010