May 2010 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
should i be really mad about this?
So i am really mad and even hurt that HH has yet to change me as his emergency contact at work and we have been married over one month. His mom is still his. I just keep think how upset i would be if he got hurt and his mom was called not me.
He says that he can never talk to his boss. I know this is true his boss is an A$$ and doesn''t know how to talk to his workers. HH hates his job. I don't want to push him but this is really important to me and I don't get why it's not to him. He never gets sick or hurt so I guess he feels it's not that important but you never know what can happen.
What would you do?
Re: should i be really mad about this?
I wouldn't really worry about it too much. I have no idea who H's emergency contacts are, but I would guess his parents since they are retired and easily available during an emergency.
He still has his brother listed as his beneficiary for everything, but has been encouraging me to complete my name change stuff so he can change that. If he doesn't have you as a beneficiary, I would think that's more something of concern....
First... take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
My HH JUST switched his driver's license address to our place. The DMV was still listing him as living with his mother, even though he hasn't lived with her in FIVE YEARS. It bugged the heck out of me that the government thought he was still living with his mother instead of me. Is some pencil-pusher somewhere looking at his records and going "oooooohhh, mama's boy there!"? No. Irrational, but it bothered me.
Also, his mother (who has no car and never drives anyone else's) has insisted that she be listed on his auto insurance policy for no apparent reason, and that bothered me, too. We finally canceled his policy and put him on mine. MIL is SOL.
It took two months to get this done.
I think that you should find a time when you are calm and he's not distracted. Sit him down and tell him, flat-out, that this is means a lot to you. He probably won't understand why, but maybe tell him that it's a girl thing and that you'd have more peace of mind.
I feel like there must be something more to this that's bothering you - do you feel like in other areas of your life his mom comes first still? I get the sense you need reassurance that you're #1 now.
I'd relax on this for now - tell him one last time, "Hey, I'd really feel better if I knew you had talked to your boss about changing your emergency contact to my name. Can you find a time to talk to your boss this week about that?" and then let it go so he can do that.
DH still has his old driver's license address - from years ago when he lived with his ex-wife. He's finally going this week to change his license and we've lived in our house for almost a year now and before that he had 2 other addresses since the divorce (his apt on his own and then our apt together before we bougtht the house). My point is...I don't care. He'll get it done this week. It doesn't signify anything to me - up until a few weeks ago I still had my license say my parent's address and I'm 31 and haven't lived at home for over 10 years. I was waiting all these years until I bought a house / had a permanent address of my own and also until I changed my name after marriage so I could just do it all at once and be done with it. (Can you tell I really hate the DMV?)
I wouldn't worry about it too much. I honestly wouldn't care too much if Adam had his mom listed as an emergency POC. I mean, she would call me instantly if she found out something.
Does he HAVE to talk to his boss about it? Isn't there an HR person or something who could take care of that so the boss wouldn't even have to be involved?
True, Kelly... didn't think about that. Plus, I know that Adam's boss would call me directly anyway since I've hung out with him and his wife before, so they know me.
This.
Oh I don't think his mom comes first. He doesn't even like to talk to his mom or any of him family for some reason. I know his mom would call me but I really want to be his next of kin. I don't think there is anything else behind my feelings, except I always worry that I will lose him some way. It still feel too good to be true that I am married to the love of my life. It was even worried on the honneymoon that something would happen to him.
I am sick alot and so I guess since i would want him to be called first I think it should be the other way around. And am even supper close to my mom.
Legally you ARE his next of kin. Worry less about when he's going to have the chance to get it changed at work and more about why you're always worrying you'll lose him in some way. I admit I worry about my Dh when he's on the road - he flies every week for work and he just was in the ER last week with that tooth pain and then had to get an emergency root canal - all while on the other side of the country. But I'm not contsantly worried that something's going to happen to him...because it's not something I can control so it's no sense in getting anxious over it all the time. Just like if I got hit by a car today leaving work it's not anything he could control.
I'm sure he'll get you switched to his emergency contact as soon as the opportunity arises at work but for now, don't stress yourself over this. And like Hayley said, unless he's in a line of very dangerous work or MIL won't call you should something happen between now and him switching...chances are very much on your side nothing will happen.