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No wonder Bumpies are so effed up
The lead story on the Bump today:

Seriously?

Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
Re: No wonder Bumpies are so effed up
Something about that picture and the "why you hate your husband" is cracking me up.
Obviously the article states:
- Because he is helpless and can't do anything
- Because he will roll over and crush your child at night
- Because he wants to molest your child
- Because his lack of vagina prevents him from having any parental instincts
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Kay, I read his expression differently. To me, it says, "biitch, you crazy. How'my gonna get out of this situation with all my limbs intact?"
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
The nerve!
House | Blog
his face to me looks like "I'm about to put this plastic bag over your head and squeeze."
I've had a couple of moments when I'm up and waddling to the bathroom for the third time in a few hours and J is just snoring away peacefully where I've thought that it would be fun to put his hand in warm water or something, but I'm sure the full-on hate will come after Pickle's here. Maybe I should start practicing now because I think he's pretty damn awesome and it might take some time adjusting to hating him.
Not if you were a new mother!
A) It will give the baby Ebola
2) The baby will see its nipples and develop nipple confusion
Bubbles) Husband chose to dress it in a brightly colored cloth diaper, ruining any chances you had at instilling a proper sense of piety and modesty in that monkey.
Head in the game, SB, come on.
Did this replace Crotch Care 101?
Sebastian has always been good about helping in the middle of the night. I did have a few hateful moments related to whining about "when do I get to ride my biiiiiiiike?"
That was not a real topic, was it? One never knows with the Bump.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
It was indeed. The main topic, in fact. With cutesy cursive light blue font and everything.
I definitely had hating moments. Definitely.
But did they include the lump swallowing "awww" moments when he sings to her late at night or tells her about all the places he's going to take her? Or the times when he dons the tiny toddler sized apron and makes cookies with her in her kitchen? No? Because those erase the hating moments for the most part.
This article is just providing you a list of new reasons to hate him. Surely The Nest must have an article of reasons you hate your H pre-baby.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
Luckily I have a husband who shares my values. He would only use a diaper in whisper or bubble, and he would certainly fashion some modest nipple covers for the monkey.
I'm now a little concerned that my crotch is not being properly cared for.
The nerve!
House | Blog
I love this.
That was our rule too, especially in the early days when we had to wake him every two hours to feed him.
Oh mah gawd, i have to upload a picture i took last weekend of Andy in lila's swimming hat with the chinstrap tied playing mini-foozball with her.
I think they mean when it's torn up after giving birth. I'm assuming that's just been subsumed and added to the hate-list?
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman