October 2009 Weddings
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Wow- arranged marriage

Wow - There is a newbie on my local board and she posted a fun get to know ya survey thing and through the course of things, discovered there is a woman on there who was in an arranged marriage at the age of 15.  Amazing!  I can't imagine that and I guess I didn't realize that it is still as prevalent in my community as it actually is.  (very culturally related)  She was married at 15, had her first child by 16 and the next 22 months later.  Divorced by 20 and happily remarried to the man of her dreams which rocks. 

I'm still just - wow.  

Re: Wow- arranged marriage

  • My reaction was much the same as yours.  I didn't even know what to say but "wow, really?".  So interesting.  Thanks for sharing.  Smile
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  • Wow. I mean, I know a few people who are in arranged marriages (all Indian/Pakistani - so again, cultural) but they were not married until they were well into their 20s or 30s!

    15 years old is way too young, I'm so glad that things have turned out positively for her, though.

  • Like Angela, I also know some people in arranged marriages, but they were all older. Like a day out of college haha.
  • How did people react when she shared her story?

    Arranged marriages don't bother me as much now as they did when I was younger--it kills me, though, when girls (such as this woman) are married off.  Arranged marriage is pretty common among wealthy/prominent families in Mexico.  In fact, when I was 18 and visiting family, my aunts and uncles set up a meeting with a young man, his father, and my father for this very thing.  My father's response was, "We're Americans and don't do this!"  Very amusing, especially coming out of someone who will not become naturalized.  Also very amusing because there are many Americans who do practice it.

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  • imagewittyschaffy:

    She was married at 15, had her first child by 16 and the next 22 months later.  Divorced by 20 and happily remarried to the man of her dreams which rocks. 

     

    Was the arranged marriage here in America?  Is that legal? 

    I wonder what would happen if someone that young was married in a foreign country and then moved to America.  Would they go after the husband for child abuse? 

  • Oh it is definitely here in America.  Not sure if it is legal or not, I would presume not at such a young age but maybe by 18 they can legally register it??  I don't think that anything "criminal" is happening because as I understood it, the bride and groom were the same age.  I just can't imagine being married with a child before I could drive! 
  • States determine age requirements for marraige.  Most require parental consent under the age of 18 and/or set strict requirements to allow it. 
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  • Also, if you think 15 is crazy, check out New Hampshire law.
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  • imagemunkii:
    Also, if you think 15 is crazy, check out New Hampshire law.

    Awesome....

  • *shudder*

     

    By the way, i found this paragraph to be funny.  I think it's just how it reads, not what it's saying. 

    "457:2 Marriages Prohibited. No person shall marry his or her father, mother, father?s brother, father?s sister, mother?s brother, mother?s sister, son, daughter, brother, sister, son?s son, son?s daughter, daughter?s son, daughter?s daughter, brother?s son, brother?s daughter, sister?s son, sister?s daughter, father?s brother?s son, father?s brother?s daughter, mother?s brother?s son, mother?s brother?s daughter, father?s sister?s son, father?s sister?s daughter, mother?s sister?s son, or mother?s sister?s daughter. No person shall be allowed to be married to more than one person at any given time. "

  • imageKaren2905:

    *shudder*

     

    By the way, i found this paragraph to be funny.  I think it's just how it reads, not what it's saying. 

    "457:2 Marriages Prohibited. No person shall marry his or her father, mother, father?s brother, father?s sister, mother?s brother, mother?s sister, son, daughter, brother, sister, son?s son, son?s daughter, daughter?s son, daughter?s daughter, brother?s son, brother?s daughter, sister?s son, sister?s daughter, father?s brother?s son, father?s brother?s daughter, mother?s brother?s son, mother?s brother?s daughter, father?s sister?s son, father?s sister?s daughter, mother?s sister?s son, or mother?s sister?s daughter. No person shall be allowed to be married to more than one person at any given time. "

    Is it bad that I find that confusing? Vermont makes it easy...siblings/parents are a no go, but marriage between first cousins is completely legal.

  • Yep.  In the county where DH and I were married (northern IL), you can get married at 16 or 17 with your parent's consent.  Also, marrying 1st cousins is legal... IF one of you is sterile or if you're both over 50!  Crazy, huh?

     

    Certain marriages are prohibited by the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5/212). These include same sex marriages; marriages entered into prior to the dissolution of an earlier marriage of one of the parties; those between an ancestor and a descendant or between a brother and sister, whether the relationship is by the half or the whole blood or by adoption; and those between an uncle and a niece or between an aunt and a nephew. Generally, marriages between cousins of the first degree are prohibited; however, first cousins may marry if --

    • both parties are 50 years of age or older; or
    • either party, at the time the couple applies for a marriage license, presents to the County Clerk  a certificate signed by a licensed physician stating that the party to the proposed marriage is permanently and irreversibly sterile.
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  • imagekelliejo83:

    Certain marriages are prohibited by the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5/212). These include same sex marriages; marriages entered into prior to the dissolution of an earlier marriage of one of the parties; those between an ancestor and a descendant or between a brother and sister, whether the relationship is by the half or the whole blood or by adoption;

     

    Ya know, I understand it's weird to marry your adopted sibling, but weirdness aside, what's wrong with it?  It's not like it's mixing gene pools. 

  • imageKaren2905:

    Ya know, I understand it's weird to marry your adopted sibling, but weirdness aside, what's wrong with it?  It's not like it's mixing gene pools. 

    Good point.

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  • You can marry your first cousin in GA too... no stipulations. I don't like how it's perfectly legal to marry your cousin, but same-sex marriage is considered inappropriate....
  • I am amused that although New Hampshire has same-sex marriage, you have to be older to have a same-sex marriage than an opposite-sex one.
  • image2dBride:
    I am amused that although New Hampshire has same-sex marriage, you have to be older to have a same-sex marriage than an opposite-sex one.

    I saw this too... I wonder what the rationale is...

  • imagemunkii:
    Also, if you think 15 is crazy, check out New Hampshire law.

    <-----  yep.  EmbarrassedUgh...

    ha ha...  DH and I are each from Maine and got married there too.  This sounds much more reasonable to me:

    Maine: Applicants must be over 18 years old. A license shall not be issued to anyone under the age of 16 without written parental consent and the written consent of a judge.

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