Sex & Romance
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
not feeling the love
OK so this is the thing. Me and my fiance have been together for two years and for the past year sex is MAYBE once a week. Even when we do I have to start it. He's not touchy or anything like he use to be and everytime I say anything all he says is hes sorry. I just get so frustrated and it puts me in a bad mood ad then he hets mad cause Im bitchy. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place I love him but Im starting to feel unloved even though he says he does love me.
Re: not feeling the love
Is he still affectionate in other ways? kissing/hugging/holding/talking...
maybe you guys are just setting into normal life, both busy, stressed, sometimes it's hard to fit in sexy time as often as it was in the beginning of the relationship. Talk to him about it, figure out what he expects when you get married, how often does he want sex, and figure out how often you're expecting it..you might just have different ideas.
'Maybe once a week" isn't crazy bad though. You're 20 years old. I'm guessing he's your first major boyfriend and you've never made it through the honeymoon phase before? Marriage isn't always going to be hot and heavy sex ALL the time. There are going to be times when you're just really busy, when you're stressed...you both should be happy with your sex life but you kinda need to talk to be on the same page about what you're expecting. And don't jump to conclusions if you don't want sex one night that doesn't mean you don't love him, the same goes for him if he's too tired some time.
If you're feeling unloved I'm assuming there's more to it then just him not wanting sex more than once a week? there should be a better sense of comfort and security than having that make you question his love for you.
If it's been a year, it's probably his normal sex drive and not any temporary dip due to stress/exhaustion/depression, etc. Therefore, it's your choice now... do you:
a) Want to marry him and spend the rest of your life fighting to get laid as often as you'd like and feeling frustrated,
b) Open up your relationship so you're allowed to fill in the blanks with other partners so as to take some of the heat off of him, or
c) Say your fond goodbyes and find someone with a sex drive similar to yours.
People underestimate the importance sexual compatibility has in a relationship. It's a HUGE deal. You should think about this before you walk down the aisle.