May 2010 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Forgotten wife.
I must vent. I was not 100% anti XBOX until just recently. I HATE THAT THING. I have fantasies of beating it with a golf club, pouring hot coffee on it, backing over it with my car, etc. I'm not a needy girl whatsoever, I can usually keep myself pretty well entertained and I don't need attention ALL THE TIME. However, I want to scream. DH works all week long, gets home and his "cool down" is 1-3 hours of xbox and then we eat dinner, he showers, and 30 minutes later is asleep. Today, we're staying home because he's on call and we have the roofers working. Perfect day to watch tv in bed or do some housework...No. He's been on his xbox for most of the day and now he's channel surfing. Its so frustrating I want to cry. I dont want to guilt him into hanging out with me or be the girl that is like "pay attention to meeeeeeee" but DAMN....seriously. What's a girl got to do?
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Re: Forgotten wife.
Stephers, my immediate reaction when I read this was "Ugh, you've got to be kidding me!" And that I wouldn't put up with that at all. We don't have a video game system, HH has never owned one even as a kid, so he has no interest, thank God. However, guys (and us girls too!!) need an outlet, seperate interests, etc. My HH is a gym rat. He goes pretty much every single day after work, and he's there for roughly an hour to an hour and a half. He also plays hockey all winter, and golfs a lot in the summer (when he's around on the weekends, which isn't often). Granted, when he comes home, he is all about ME, and doing things together. But he definitely does have his "me" time, which is when he's working out, and if he goes a couple of days without it, he gets really antsy and he needs to get back to the gym. So when I really thought about it, him having his gym time is kind of the same as your HH having his video game time. But what you need to do is set a limit. He might not even realize how much time he's spending playing the games. Set a timer for an hour (or however long you mutually decide - I wouldn't recommend deciding this for him or he'll likely be super pissed) and when the timer goes off, so does the game. And then he's done with it for the day. You're newlyweds! You need to have time doing fun stuff together! Get outside and enjoy the summer, take a walk, go feed the ducks! Or maybe you could even get a game that the two of you can play together (Super Mario Bros is fun, my roommates had it and played it together a lot) and that way at least you're not being totally ignored.
Good luck and let us know how it goes
bio
I have been going through the same thing today!! HH loves his XBox and I hate it. It died right before the wedding thankfully so when we finally moved in together we didn't have to worry about it. But then he found out a way to get it working for a few hours but then it will stop again and he will have to redo it. Eventually this "fix" stops working and completely fries the inside of the console making it unusable forever. We have been fighting over this stupidest things all about games. He now wants a Playstation 3 and it makes absolutely no sense in my head to spend over $400 on all of the stuff to get it set up when he has a car payment each month, we owe his grandfather money that he loaned us for the wedding, and we are barely making it month on the paycheck we have (ugh sorry mini vent). Then last night he wanted to buy new games for his xbox that isn't even working all the time!!!! He could buy it and tomorrow it could stop working for good and we would be out the money for the game.
Anyways long story short....I totally understand where you are coming from.
I know exactly how you feel, steph. Adam loves his xbox, and will usually play it for at least a couple hours a night. Unfortunately his game of choice is call of duty, and I REALLY don't understand how he relaxes to a game that seems so frustrating, and that I know for sure would raise my blood pressure! Sometimes it really is frustrating when he goes upstairs for a couple hours after I've been home for only an hour or so. But that's been happening since he got his xbox, like 3 years ago. Sure it bothers me, but maybe I'm just used to it. Have you talked to him about it? I don't know about the timer thing tho...that seems like it would really piss a guy off after a few times, and I don't think he would appreciate you timing his play. Just my thought.
So I'm really no help except I know how you feel, the timer is not a great idea (sorry!), and just talk to him and ask him to stay with you for a little while. Make sure he knows that this frustrates you and he should make an effort to get a little better at it. I do like the idea of you guys getting a game that you can both play together. We do that on the wii sometimes (since the wii is technically mine).
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
I so enjoyed the month when he had to send his xbox in to be repaired because he got the "red circle of death." It was sooo quiet, especially since that was a time where we lived in a 1 bedroom apt and only 1 tv. We also have a playstation 3 that he only really uses for blu-ray movies. rarely. but we got it when we purchased one of our tvs, it was a "package deal."
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
Ya that's what happened to his..."red circle of death". He has spent all day today locked in the extra bedroom playing it instead of helping with the thank you notes or anything today. I am contemplating dropping it from our second story apartment. I don't think there is a repair for that
Dooooo it!! Or, tell him it has to be sent in to be fixed and then you get a month with no xbox!!!
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
I went to bed around midnight last night, and Matt said he'd be in to join me in a bit. I woke up at four in the morning to discover that he had not come to bed at all. He was still in the guest room playing his MLB game on his PS2.
We talk about it a lot. I think it's kind of silly and not a great use of time, but then, reading vampire books and checking the Nest a dozen times a day is pretty silly and not the best use of time, either. I'm just glad Matt only plays the sports games. Those seem a little more legit to me. He's so into the strategy of setting up salaries and trades that it makes it seem a little less juvenile and brainless.
I'm so glad Adam doesn't play video games... the only time he ever plays, is when I want to play a game with him. We'll play racing games or something that we can compete on, but that's about it. He doesn't ever want to play unless I do, so we play maybe once a month, if that.
The interest for guys in video games doesn't end, unfortunately. My H is 34 next month and still plays (sometimes I encourage him to get a new game if I am going to be away or something).
The good news is that he doesn't play it as often as the younger guys I know, so the thrill must fade a bit eventually...