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Thank you cards
I need some advice here. I know I have the potential to get lambasted from etiquette queens on this one but I seriously have no clue what to do.
So I really wanted to get our thank you cards out before the one month mark from our wedding but our photographer is taking her time doing up the picture that I wanted to send with a handwritten note to each person so it looks like it might be more like the 6-8 week mark.
Here is my question though. There are three people that didn't get us a gift. Two of those people we were expecting as they both of them are on welfare. The other one was a bit surprising, but I am just happy they were able to come. Do we send them a thank you card or do you think that will make them feel bad? Personally to me I don't care either way I just don't want to make them feel bad.
Let me know your thoughts and if you had any similiar situations.
TIA
Re: Thank you cards
Sure, why not. Just write a nice message saying you were glad they could be there to celebrate your wedding with you. I don't think that would make them feel bad -- in fact, at least in the case of the two who probably couldn't afford to buy gifts, it might even make them feel better.
That said, I'm not sure but I probably didn't send thank-you cards to DH's two siblings who came to our wedding but didn't even bother to give us a card.
We had a couple like this - I just sent a TY that said 'thanks for coming, it was great to see you' or something like that.
There was one woman who told us that she'd forgotten her card but would be mailing it. After a few (extra) weeks I sent her a TY that said the above thinking it would jog her memory, but no card ever arrived...
We only had one person that didn't get us a gift or even a card for our wedding, and she was in my wedding party. Go figure. Anyhoo...I still sent her a TY card anyway just to say thank you for making the trip to share in our day.
Ok, I have to ask... since I never had a wedding... did you seriously cross reference you guest list with the gifts you received to figure out that you didn't get a gift from these people? (If so, that is just another reason why I'm totally against weddings - don't mind me, I usually keep quiet about my obscure wedding issues.)
As for me - I would say send them a thank you card if you want to thank them. I'm not a fan of sending thank you cards out of a sense of obligation. Are you thankful that they came to your wedding? Or would you have rather they didn't come since they didn't bring a gift?
Personally, I would be thankful that my friend/family was there to celebrate with us.
Thanks, this is a great idea.
To be perfectly honest I didn't send anything to most of the people who didn't both to get us a gift or a card. I think I did if they were immediate family or if they were from OOT.
LOL, it's not nearly as bad as it sounds. What usually happens (in my limited experience) is that as gifts are opened, someone writes what the gift is on the card so that you remember what is from whom. Then, when writing thank-you notes, you can reference the cards to make appropriate comments about how much you love the gift and how you plan to use it, etc. It's practical.
Ditto this. It's not about "So and so got me a crappy gift!"- you track gifts in order to write a personalized note about how much you enjoyed the blender they gave you, instead of a generic "thank you for your gift". It's supposed to be good etiquette (for weddings and birthdays and any other event), showing you actually appreciated the time and effort they spent picking out a gift instead of letting it get lost in the other gifts.
I only knew who gave what from the info written on the card so I was able to personalize the thank you but one went out to everyone who came, gift or not.
The only good thing about doing that was an aunt called my mother asking why we didn't mention the gift she got us and it turned out that she had left it in her car by mistake.
Like previous posters said, it is more of a way to reference the gift in the thank you note. I like receiving thank you notes that mention the gift, because then I know that they received it.
We also are a bit less traditional when it came to our wedding. For our Thank You cards we made up a nice postcard type with a wedding picture of us on the front, and a little saying on the back signed from us with love. This way if there was an individual note we wanted to add we wrote it in underneath, but if we didnt feel it necessary we could leave them as is. We sent one to everyone who came, and only added notes to specific people. Mind you I dont think anyone came without at least bringing a card.
The saying on ours was
"We'd like to thank you for the gift, and more thanks for the thought. The greatest thing we thank you for is all the joy you brought!"
I really like that qoute!