Boston Nesties
camedowncrushing
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Complimenting when one really doesn't mean it.
Do you ever find yourself doing this? I saw someone over the weekend that had cut her hair really really short, and IMO looked awful. So even though it was this huge change since I had last seen her (she had hair half way down her back before) I just didn't say anything about the cut. One of my SIL's said to her "oh I really like your hair cut." A little while later I said to SIL "Wow you really like so-and so's hair better? I thought it looked so much better before." SIL said that she didn't really like so-and-so's haircut but felt it would be awkward to just not say anything at all. Hmmm I thought. I never comment on something just to comment. It is making me rethink about when people give me compliments if I get a new haircut or coat or something.
Re: Complimenting when one really doesn't mean it.
I think I say something like, "Wow, big change! Nice." The "nice" therefore applies to the fact that something changed, rather than the actual change itself
I am a master at wordsmithing anything, haha!
I agree with CrysW though, if asked point-blank I will flat out lie. Not worth hurting someone's feelings.
ooh that is a good idea Rock. I think I am the same about not hurting someone's feelings unless it is my BFF or other close friend wanting advice on what to wear or something like that and they say "be honest." I guess for the most part though I just avoid commenting on something I don't like.
This. Sometimes people can get their feelings hurt if they make a big change, and you don't seem to notice, so I will just comment on the change. ("OMG you cut your hair! Wow, that looks SO different! Look at you!" And if it's someone I'm close to, I'll touch their hair. Etc.) If I don't like it, I don't give my actual opinion, and if I'm asked I lie.
"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" -- I think I do this more than I realize. Example... there are a couple of people on my FB who had done the wife cut, and all their friends are telling them how awesome it looks. IMO, I HATE it... but I won't post it on their FB. No I'll just let it go...
But like with the other PPs, if asked point blank, to my face, I might tell a little white lie, only because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. See? I'm not a b!tch all the time!
most of the time i think i try to avoid saing anything. i'm afraid that if i fake a compliment it won't sound sincere and i'll still make the person feel bad. i'd rather just ignore the change. unless its a huge change or i'm asked what i think or i have to work closely with the person and there is just no getting around it.
Yes...this is what I do.
I agree with this.
There was one time a co-worker walked right up to me after she got her hair cut on her lunch break. It went from very long, to just above shoulder length. She said "Well, What do you think?" after my deer in the headlights look I said "I thought you said you would never get it cut short?" and waited for her answer. So, I completely dodged having to give a compliment/comment/opinion etc...