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Hmmm......
I feel like I'm losing my closest friends...or at least the people that I thought were my closest friends.There have been a lot of things that have made me feel like this over the last 18 months but the most recent one was last night. I have a group of ladies that I get together with almost everyweek and last night was our weekly night out. We tell each other pretty much everything. A couple of years ago we had a member that we were afraid to tell anything to because if it was good she would pull out the woe is me act and if it was something bad she always made sure to remind you that she felt she had it so much worse. So last night I wanted to tell them something that was going on with me. I was looking for someone to talk to other than DH about how just a couple weeks ago we thought we were pregnant and then found out that we weren't. I knew that this would be a touchy subject since one member of our group has been trying to pregnant for quite a while. However, what I wasn't expecting was to just be completely shut out the way that I was. I don't know how to feel about this. Should I just let it go and accept that maybe I should have kept my thoughts and feelings to myself or am I justified in feeling upset and shutout. I would never want to hurt any of these people in any way but we have always made an attempt to talk to each other about anything. I just really don't know what to think about this. What are your opinions on my little story?
Re: Hmmm......
I guess I don't know what to tell you because you don't really say what happened? Did you tell them about it or not? Did it just go over like a lead balloon?
I guess on a generic level, you should feel like you can tell your best buddies anything but everyone is human. Everyone gets their emotions involved sometimes . You can't always expect that people are able to be sympathetic all the time, know what I mean? I'm sure if you expressed that you thought you were pregnant and someone had been trying for a long time, they might be a little sensitive about it and may not be able to muster up the support you need. I can honestly say if I had been trying to get pregnant and couldn't, I would have a hard time consoling someone who basically had an "oops" moment and then got bummed when it turned out to be nothing in the end. Know what I mean? My reaction would be not at all consoling and would probably come off as anger out of my own frustration - even though that wouldn't be what I meant.
I guess not knowing what went on, I'd say cut people some slack when you are talking about the babies thing. For people who are struggling with infertility, I can imagine that a lot of them are grappling with feelings of failure and that has to be tough.
Could you be more specific on how you were shut out?
I guess the reason that I felt shut out is whenever I mentioned it I just kinda got the strange looks from two of them, one of them said I didn't know you were trying and then the subject was changed. I guess I was expecting too much from them maybe. Like I said before we are very open with each other and very sympathetic of each other. I guess I was shocked that to me they didn't seem to care. I guess now maybe I shouldn't have told them.
I can see the point that if I were in the shoes of the person who has been unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant I would be upset to hear that someone thought they had an "oops" but that isn't normally our dynamic. I'm trying to be understanding and see things from their point of view but I guess it is just hard.