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Ditch your unruly teen

Apparently, some parents in Nebraska are using the poor wording of their infant drop off law to get out of responsibility of their out of control teens. One guy surrendered 9 of his 10 kids. I really, really, really hope the 10th kid was an adult.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?&entry_id=31295&type=moms

Team Basement Cat imageKnitting&Kitties

Re: Ditch your unruly teen

  • Everyone is all up in arms over this but why? If the alternative was that this father was going to take everyone's life, isn't the better solution a safe surrender law?

    Maybe I'm not viewing this in the right light. 

  • When you surrender your baby at the safe drop off points, don't you loose all your parental rights? Can he get his kids back when he's in a better place? Couldn't those kids go into foster care, where he'd retain some parental rights, until he can improve his situation? This seems like he's just washing his hands of the situation. I can definately see feeling unwanted and unloved if I was one of those kids. I'm not saying that his stich doesn't suck, it does, but so does this solution.

    Dropping off your teen b/c they're a pita, though, doesn't seem like something you should be able to do. At least, not until they're 18.

    Team Basement Cat imageKnitting&Kitties
  • I don't know the nuances of the Neb. surrender law, but I still think that if the father was at the very end of his emotional rope (I think the wife had just died, right?) such that he was on the brink of doing something very, very stupid then the surrender laws should be there for him too. The kids probably feel unwanted/unloved but these feelings probably didn't start with their surrender and it's better than being dead. I don't know though...
  • The 10th kid was 18, btw. And guess how old the oldest kind surrendered was? 17.

    Imagine the years of therapy all these children will need for the rest of their lives. :(

  • imageMrsBrittany:

    The 10th kid was 18, btw. And guess how old the oldest kind surrendered was? 17.

    Imagine the years of therapy all these children will need for the rest of their lives. :(

    But I wouldn't be surprised if their living environment w/ their father was such that they would have needed therapy anyway. 

  • imageLittleMissWifey:
    imageMrsBrittany:

    The 10th kid was 18, btw. And guess how old the oldest kind surrendered was? 17.

    Imagine the years of therapy all these children will need for the rest of their lives. :(

    But I wouldn't be surprised if their living environment w/ their father was such that they would have needed therapy anyway. 

    Ditto. 

    This is a complete assumption, but I'm imagining this like on Desperate Housewives when Bree was at the end of her rope with her son Andrew - he was totally out of control and blackmailing and had become dangerous to her and her family so she dropped him off on the side of the road somewhere 'cause she just didn't have another solution.

    I'm thinking at least in Nebraska at least there'd be someone to pick him up other than clients for sex acts.

    On the other hand, there's been a rash of people dropping off teens in Nebraska, and it seems like it's out of hand. I wonder if these people know what exactly the consequences are in regards to their parental rights. At the least, it would be good to have a public awareness campaign about counseling resources and such available to parents who are overwhelmed. Some NE state legislature guy on the Today show suggested they would do that.

    Yes, I'm ridiculous for citing DH as an example for a real life tragedy, but it was the best I could come up with. 

    imageimageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • This story says nothing to indicate that these children had a poor life.  Just that their father abandoned them once his wife passed away.  I'm sorry, but If something happens to Josh tomorrow, that does NOT give me the right to leave Mikayla on someones door step because I am emotional at the time.  It is child abandonment and illegal in most states.  Honestly, the older kids could probably become emancipated, but what about the baby??  Their youngest child is one year old.  That child is not an unruly teen that this man is unable to handle.  He helped pop out these kids and it is his responsibility to care for them.  If he needs help, so be it.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • But what do you want this father to do? If he can't care for his kids, he can't care for his kids. I agree that states like NE need to do more parental outreach, counseling, etc. for families in crisis, but this law allowed this man to avoid an even bigger crisis. I mean, how many stories have I heard lately about desperate/deranged parents taking the life of their kids? Just last weekend a man in LA killed his entire family b/c he was under great financial stress. This doesn't mean that "abandoning" your kids is a great thing...it's not, but it seems far better than certain desperate, irreparable alternatives, don't you think? 

    And if a parent has reached a point where he can no longer parent, I think it's pretty safe to assume that the home life is not a good one. 

  • I'm okay with this.  Parents who would do that should not have custody of their kids. 
    A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have. A new beginning Lap Band in Nov. '11
  • imagepvillewife06:
    I'm okay with this.? Parents who would do that should not have custody of their kids.?

    This is kind of my thinking too. As much as it absolutely horrifies me, it's hard for me to think that these kids would actually be better off living with a parent who desperately wants to abandon them. ?

    "I
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