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who do you talk to?
I could not figure out the right subject line for this topic, lol. I think I changed it a half dozen times. Anyways...
I talk to Ted about everything, even if I stew about something for a while I always tell him eventually. The thing is that sometimes I get very upset or stressed about something and I don't want to talk to Ted about it. Actually it's not that I don't want to talk to him about it, it's that he's so busy and stressed out all the time about work, that I don't want to add to that burden.
So I'm just wondering, when something is really bugging you do you ever hash it out with a friend/sibling/parent before you talk about it with your husband? Sometimes I feel like I should do this because usually talking about it helps me calm down, and then I can discuss it in a calmer way with Ted.
I will just add a "for instance" - things are not really great with my work right now, and I'm starting to get really freaked out. I want to talk to Ted about it, but I don't want to panic him either. At the same time, I feel like I need to talk about it with someone. Ted does know my concerns with my job right now, it's not like I'm keeping it from him. That wouldn't really be fair, since it effects him also.
Re: who do you talk to?
I talk to my bff(s) and my coworkers. If something's going on at work and it's not a big deal it's just frustrating or whatever I'll talk to some of my coworkers. I am VERY lucky in that for the most part my coworkers are fantastic and we all get along really well. That way I can vent to someone who knows what I'm talking about and understands my frustration and I don't have to spend 30 min at the end of everyday venting to BJ. While BJ knows all of whats going on in my life, I don't tell him EVERYTHING and I don't vent to him about everything, sometimes I just vent to whoever will understand my position or my stress the best and that way I can get over it and the time that I spend with BJ is not just full of me complaining about everything.
Did that make sense? Lol. Sorry things at work aren't going well for you!!!
Depends..
BFF (of which I have 3 to choose from..but all are sometimes not so accessible)
Parents
Brother (very VERY rare)
You ladies
When a lot of my job stuff was getting really bad I vented here. I didn't want to talk to a CW and Eric sometimes got a little crazy about it, and my friends were too busy.
I know what you mean. Sometimes Danny freaks out when I'm upset about something. Like if it makes me mad, he'll be twice as mad on my behalf, which doesn't always calm me down.
Usually I do talk to him about these things, but I also share a lot with my bff, so between the two of them I can spread out the angst. I agree, keeping something important from the DH is a no-no, but sometimes I need to vent to someone who will just sit there and listen, and not want to rant and rage about it.
As for talking to one or the other first, it just depends on who's handy. My bff and I chat on gchat all the time, so she's usually more available during the day. DH can't chat while at work so I have to talk to him in the evenings. If I'm upset enough I'll just tell the first person in earshot!
Well, when I don't want to talk to DH about something first (because even if I DO talk to him about it he often times doesn't understand. You know, being a man and all) I often come to you ladies. I have a good friend who is also a co-worker that I talk about work crap with, and I have my bff and my mom that I can always go to as well. Generally speaking though, I'm terrible about talking about stuff that bothers me. Even if it's only work-related or something minor. I don't know what my deal is....I just have a hard time expressing my thoughts to other people, plus most of the time I feel like they either won't really care or it's not something they should have to deal with.
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This is tricky for me. Mainly I have learned that people can't keep their mouth's shut, so if it's something that I need to vent about and don't want anyone else to know, I chat with my friend in AZ (I'm in IN). We can vent all we want and know that our "secrets are safe".
I go to my mom a lot. But I've learned that she will unintentionally tell my aunt who will tell my uncle who will tell my other uncle and so on and so forth. So I try to keep that minimal.
I will vent a lot of things to DH...but I have to be careful not to be too upset because in turn, he will get all fired up. And there are just times when I want to be the one mad/ upset...me not him. I want him for support and I'm convinced that is just written into movies. If I am upset enough to shed a tear, DH is not understanding at all (ie. when I got laid-off and wasn't having luck finding another job). With him, I'm supposed to be all sunshine, lollipops, and lalalala, skip, skip, skip...
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I have similar issues as some of you. One... I tend to bottle things up. Two... not everyone can keep their mouths shut, and most of the time I don't want everyone to know x,y,z. Three... if I get really, really upset then sometimes Ted gets very upset & stressed in turn, and I hate doing that to him. Plus sometimes I just want to be upset & cry, and have that be ok without him freaking out.
I used to talk to my friend T, I would vent to her, bounce ideas off of her, etc., but we really aren't friends anymore. Actually one of the reasons I became so closed off & started bottling things up was because of her. Almost anytime I told her something she would tell her sister or her mom, and then everything became a much bigger deal then I wanted. Maybe the fact she isn't in my life anymore should be a sign for me to open up to people I know I can trust. (I'm pretty sure that was a "light switching on" moment)
Honestly, if I didn't have you ladies to turn to at times... well I don't know what I would do.
I have a hand full of close friends that I talk to. Most of the time it depends on the situation, but I tend to talk to my sister the most.
p.s. Sarah I am always here if you need an ear to vent/talk to.
you 
Ashley & Josh ~ The Reef Resort ~ Grand Cayman~ May 15th 2010
i am sorry to hear things are not going to well at work. i hope they get better soon love.
i have a group of girlfriends that i e-mail on a daliy bases to talk things out. they are my world!
Depends for me as well.
I talk to my mom or 2 of my BFFs. Sometimes I'll even talk to my SIL if I think the situation is right.
I used to vent a lot to my step-mom when we were going on daily walks, but I don't get to see her as much anymore.
That really sucks that your job isn't working out at the moment. I hope it's nothing too serious!
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