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Mad enough to throw squirrels
Last night we found out through conversation that the cancer is in her lymph nodes, brain and bones. That's on top of it already being in her breast tissue, lungs and liver. So from the sounds of it, without being told, it seems to have metastasized. Either way, it sounds a lot worse than what we had originally thought.
It seems like every week we get news that is either super positive or negative. It's a roller coaster and I can't imagine what MIL is feeling.
What I'm mad about though is the fact that everyone seemed to have known (friends and family) before Eric found out. He was actually in the room when a family friend asked about chemo & the brain. What a sh!tty way to find that out.
I'm also really irked by his cousin these days, as are Eric and his dad. His cousin sat down with half the family last night (H & 1 BIL included) and told them they need to convince MIL to change doctors because cuz doesn't feel she has the best doctor. This is about the 4th time it's been brought up and MIL and FIL have ignored her every time.
After some heated discussion Eric pointed out that no ones loss is as great as MIL's and esentially FIL's and that it's 100% their decision to make. She's not a child and we can't force her to change doctors. On top of that, every other opinion they've received has told them that they wouldn't change a thing about the treatment she's getting now.
FIL is getting fed up with cuz's and aunt telling MIL tales about miracle cures and what she needs to be doing to return to normal health. Him and H have decided that it's time to have a serious discussion with the extended family about what their role should be. They need to have MIL's back and support her decisions. Ultimately it's hers to make and we're not doing her any good by being divided and putting down her decisions.
I could go on and on about this whole situation but I'll just get more upset.
Re: Mad enough to throw squirrels
{Blog: Adventures of AlaskanAlison}
Ugh. No bueno. I know when my BFF was going through her Dad having cancer and same when her SIL was diagnosed, it really upset her and her DH that everyone wanted to put their 2 cents in. And it's true, everyone thinks they know best. I remember saying to her that I realized she was upset and it was frustrating, but at the end of the day, they are just trying to do what THEY think is best. While everyone thinks they know, they don't. And you guys are 100% right, its up to MIL and FIL, and if they are comfortable with what they are doing, than that's the important thing.
And yeah, they tried to get my friends dad to do all these crazy diets and enzyme stuff and what not... he placated, but he was miserable and finally he said i'm going to eat whatever I want and do whatever I want...screw ya'll.
I'm still keeping my fingers crossed!
I am so sorry you have to deal with this.
?
I do honestly believe they have her best interest at heart... most of the time. I just caught on to something last night that makes me think not always. Although I guess it's not really my place to say I know their motives.
However there's a way to address these things, and I hardly agree with their approach. She'll literally be sitting there and clear her throat real loud so everyone can hear her and say things like "We need to take you to Washington so that you can meet Dr. so and so" but over and over again until someone (usually her mom or sister) agrees with her.
Or like last night she gets people together in the family almost like she's running an intervention. If her recommendations (and I say that lightly) were of interest to MIL & FIL, she wouldn't have to tell them more than once.
ETA: Yes the family is close. But the extended family believes they are closer than they really are. Cousin (CIL) seems to be trying to take the place of H & BIL's in this situation.
Ashley & Josh ~ The Reef Resort ~ Grand Cayman~ May 15th 2010