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S/O Sex Ed
As I said, I wanted to start a spin-off post, but then my phone rang, and then I had to do something else, and then I went to lunch with the lovely MissyNa. But now I'm back.
I'm just curious what others experiences were with sex ed. My husband's and my experience was vastly different from one another, and I'm just curious whose experience was more typical.
My experience: I went to public school and received various forms of sex ed in 5th grade (this was just about changing bodies), 6th grade, 7th grade, and 9th grade. I also received sex ed through my (Catholic) Church once or twice. Through all of that, there was some abstinence-only ed mixed in there, but most of it was about safe sex. Also, in my 9th grade health class we watched a video of a baby being born and our teacher explained in gory detail what happened to your body when you were pregnant and gave birth, and well, it was a VERY effective class.
My husband went to parochial (very conservative Lutheran) school through 8th grade and there was never any form of sex ed. Not even abstinence-only. It just wasn't mentioned. And then in public high school, he never took a health class, so he didn't get it there either.
It just amazes me that he grew up without any form of sex ed at all!
Re: S/O Sex Ed
I went to Catholic school from 3rd-10th grade. In 6th, 7th, and 8th grade there was some basic teaching, but it was mostly abstinence based. In high school (9th&10th grade) there was more extensive teaching.
All of the information that was given in school was stuff I had already learned from my parents "sex talks". When I was in grade school/junior high it was the basics, and in high school my parents were very thorough in expressing their beliefs in abstinence, but also teaching safe sex and letting me know the possible consequences if I didn't practice safe sex. I would say that my parents did a good job of getting the proper information to me.
My public school sex ed was very much like yours, Kasa, except that we also had a health class for half of our senior year that was just first aid/CPR certification, stress management, and sex ed (basically a repeat of 9th grade sex ed).
I went to a very small Christian grade school. We learned about reproduction but not really sex. In 5th grade (I think) we had a lady from the health department come and tell us that boy's private spots are here (gesturing to the groin/butt area) and girls' private spots are here (gesturing to the boobs) and here (butt/pelvic area). Also that we were not to let anyone touch us where our swimsuit covers. Of course we all thought it was hysterical and aked what about if our swimsuit has long sleeves, can someone touch our arm?
I also went to a Christian high school and our health class sex section was about STDs and all about abstinence.
I went to public school.
We had a section about girls' bodies in 5th grade, then we saw the same thing again in 6th grade along with the boy video. We also had health in 7th grade and our woman gym teacher was very open and honest with us about everything.
In 9th grade, we had another health class where we had to learn all the body parts, we saw pictures of STDs and our VERY conservative health teacher lectured us on why babies should be raised by their own mother and not put in daycare and why we should not have sex before marriage.
I took an advanced biology class as a junior and we watched birthing videos and my teacher told us hilarious (at that time, b/c we were so immature) stories about the whole process.
My parents didn't really give us "the talk." They told us that sex leads to pregnancy. That's about it.
I went to Christian schools for the entirety of my educational lifetime. I don't really recall much of what "sex ed" I got in school because my parents - my mom specifically - were very dedicated to teaching me all about how my body would change, what that meant in terms of the reproductive system and "becoming a woman," how sex worked and why it should be saved for marriage, the Christian view of sex, and all of that. We read books on the topic together and they always answered my questions if I had them.
Because of their diligence, I think that by the time we got to those topics in school, it was like old news to me. I know that we did discuss how males and females are built differently, and I do recall watching a video on how babies are conceived/develop/born in seventh grade. In 9th grade sex got lumped in with the health unit in P.E.
One topic that never came up, either from my mom or in school, was STDs. Or if it did, I don't remember. Again, to me it was very simple: God created sex for marriage, and the love that comes out of that marriage, end of story. I believed it then and I believe it now.
Hahaha that is so strange! ?I have never heard of that before. ?Where did they have you watch it ?
TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
SA February 2011: Normal
RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI
Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption
Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
Court trip October 2012
Home November 24 2012!
adoption blog: addingaburden.com
I was taught abstinence only growing up and I shared those convictions, however I was also equipped to have a strong and successful marriage so I was able to marry relatively young (just turned 22). ? I think if we (meaning faith communities) are going to teach teens to wait until marriage we need to do a way better job equipping them to have successful marriages. ?I'm not convinced that it is realistic to teach teens to wait and then also tell them to wait to get married... I mean if you are 26 or 27 when you get married you've been sexually mature for 10-15 years. ?That is a long time and I think in our culture it is unrealistic to expect most people to wait that long. ?I;m sure I'm in the minority but I think we should take the effort we put into abstience campians (which are rarely successful by the way) and put it?toward equipping teens for ?healthy, strong marriages so they are ready to marry earlier in life.?
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TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
SA February 2011: Normal
RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI
Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption
Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
Court trip October 2012
Home November 24 2012!
adoption blog: addingaburden.com
in a community education room at the health department. I know, totally weird! That was in 1998.
Jillian, this is what I mean in the other post... sort of. Everything on TV makes it sound like sleeping around, partying, being a total moron is awesome. If the whole "single life" wasn't so glamorized, it'd be much easier to keep young adults from having 25 sexual partners before they can legally drink.
I agree. ?One thing I really hate about our culture is that we have this attitude that your teens and early 20's are about "letting loose" and making mistakes with no consequences. ?This is neither healthy nor realistic. ?I'm no expert on adolescence but I think if we have higher expectations for teens that they will reach them- if we expect them to fail and be irresponsible then we can't be surprised when they are, you know? ??
TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
SA February 2011: Normal
RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI
Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption
Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
Court trip October 2012
Home November 24 2012!
adoption blog: addingaburden.com
Awww! I'm referred to as lovely in the introduction of a sex ed post.
) Lunch was wonderful though. Now, onto the sex ed and a confession.
I don't recall much of sex ed in school. It seems to me it was similar to Kasa's timeline. For the most part my mom had us well educated before any of these topics came up in school. Like others said it was a non-topic for me. I even forgot to bring my permission slip to school to take the sex ed portion of health class because I already was well versed. I had to sit in the office until I brought my slip to school. LOL!
Now, for my confession: I lost my virginity at a very, very young age. I was positive that my boyfriend at the time was the one for me. We actually dated for almost 4 years. After him I wait a very long time before having sex with someone else.
So while I had what I would consider thorough sexual education, I still decided to have sex early. I think I would have chosen to have sex even if my education was faith based. I was THAT positive my first partner was going to be my husband (silly me).
All in all I think we need to give kids all the information we can so they can make good decisions.
MissyNa, I don't feel like you should have to "confess" that. You made what you feel is a mistake. You learned from it. I don't feel like there is any shame in that.
I also had a very thorough education on sex, especially from my mom. It sounds very similar to what Chymes said.
I was pretty young the first time I had sex, especially looking back I kind of can't believe I did it then. I got lucky and ended up marrying that same person several years later. I don't think my having sex early can be blamed in anyway on the education I received.
Do you really think what's on TV has that much of an affect? I mean, there are TV shows, movies, etc. that portray a whole heck of a lot of violence and other awfulness, but watching those shows as a teenager didn't make me think it was cool to murder people, you know?
Teenagers have been having sex forever. Honestly -- and my grandmother would kill me if she knew I was posting this on the internet -- women in my family have been having babies out of wedlock and/or as teenagers for many generations. Maybe my family is the exception, but I doubt it. My point is, sex wasn't glamorized on TV in the 1910's, and yet my great grandmother was still born to an unwed teenage mother. I think the only difference now is that teenage sex is less likely to result in preganancy these days, because kids are more educated on the topic.
Kasa, I think another big difference between now 100-200 years ago is how much longer people are waiting to get married. In 1810, most 18 year olds were probably already married. Now, we think that is way too young. People got married not so long after they were sexually mature.
Historically, there are also a lot of reasons why sex outside of marriage was a no-no. Most of those reasons center around the political and economic importance of marriage, as well as the fact that women were thought of as property. There were also issues of legitimate succession for royal and wealthy families.
Yes, good points!
I went to Christian school, and we had sex ed in 6th grade, it was just about anatomy, and what sex was, I don't remember anything about when or who to have sex with, nothing about abstinence or safe sex. We also had it in high school, don't remember much about it, just that we watched a video of a birth, but I am sure it was much the same as 6th grade, only more in detail.
I don't believe anything more than that is appropiate for schools.
I don't think it's just TV. It's society as a whole. I have a lot of younger cousins, from both sides of my family, that are huge party-ers. A lot of my sister's friends are huge party-ers (she's married, so she's actually an 'outcast' b/c she doesn't sleep around) and post several pictures a weekend of them drinking/boozing/being ridiculous. As Jillian stated, that's what people expect out of young adults. If it wasn't expected, it would be a lot different.
TV does have a lot to do with it, too. What shows are popular? Jersey Shore. The Hills. Real World. What do they do on those shows? Sleep around and party.