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anyone else NOT hit with the baby bug?
In the first couple weeks after the wedding I thought I really wanted a baby. I think I was just getting caught up in everyone asking and talking about it, it being one of the next steps in our family life, and the fact that HH and I feel so good right now.
I couldn't have been more wrong about myself.
Am I the only one that is not interested in TTC right now? All these threads about babies and baby fever are great if you're interested, but that's just not me.
Call me selfish, but I like having all of HH's attention. I like having all of my time to work, work out, cook... just be myself and be a wife. I am loving being married and as much as people are putting pressure on us to start TTC, I've realized that I'm happy and fulfilled with just the two of us... for now.
Don't get me wrong, we both really want kids... eventually. Just not any time soon. I know some of you have said you're waiting a few years, but is there anyone that's doing it just because they like where they're at now?
The Benhams: Married May 1st, 2010!
Re: anyone else NOT hit with the baby bug?
It's definitely not on our list of to-do's right now.
I'm like hayley - every time I start to think I really want one now, it goes away like that. (Especially when I hear a child screaming at the top of his/her lungs, throwing a tantrum, etc. Reality check!)
SO RELIEVED!
People look at me like I have 2 heads when I say that we just don't want them right now. Then they ask if we ever will or if we're not ready or if something is wrong. Oh, and then they proceed to say that if it's about being ready, you'll never feel 100% ready. Well newsflash: we will have kids eventually, we could be ready if we wanted to, and things are fabulous- we just don't want them now.
Man that felt good to get out, lol
The Benhams: Married May 1st, 2010!
I enjoy my free time too much now too! Glad to read this- it's exactly what I'm sayin and right where we're at. HH and I have been together for 8 years but it still feels like there's so much to do and see together before a baby- travel plans are in the works and we just want to enjoy being married!
The Benhams: Married May 1st, 2010!
We are waiting 2-3 years. Sometimes I think it would be nice to try earlier, and then I think about how nice it is to sleep in, be lazy on the weekends, and not have any real responsibilities, and I instantly change my mind!
I just have too much stuff I want to do in the next few years. If it were to accidentally happen we would be fine with it, but I really want to enjoy being young and married for awhile!
High Five Girlfriend!!!
bio
Yep, marital satisfaction declines after having kids. I have no desire to rush into that. We're quite happy where we are right now and want to be able to spend time together and travel. We're also both way too selfish right now to give up our sleep and free time for a child.
I'm not sure we will ever have kids. I like kids, but I'm so not into babies. I'm just not into things that can't control their own bodily functions. Snot, vomit, drool, diapers....ugh! It all grosses me out. A lot of my friends are having kids now and when they ask if I want to hold their baby I'm just like nope no thanks. (Luckily they know I'm not into babies and aren't offended). I think I'm missing the gene that makes you think babies are cute. I've always told my mom if she ever wants a grandchild she will have to raise it for the first few years and then I'll take it back after that.
Seriously girls, this is SUCH a relief. I was beginning to feel like the odd man out. Someone said something about societal pressures and that's right on. I mean, it feels like we're expected to have kids soon or to at least be making a plan for them and I'm treated like a crazy person because I'm not.
I love my easy weekend mornings of getting up, going for a run, then having a nice breakfast with my husband (made with my waffle maker of course!). And yes, I'd like to continue my marital bliss and really be able to build on that before bringing on the stress of a child because let's be honest, they are a joy but that doesn't mean they aren't stressful too!
Someone even had the nerve to ask me why I got married if I don't want to have kids now. Seriously?!
The Benhams: Married May 1st, 2010!
I just posted this on jenny's post but here it is again.
We both want kids, but we want to wait 4-5 years (we're still young, 20 and 22). I love being married and we just want to enjoy time with eachother before starting a family. With that said if it happens before then we won't be upset. I'm on the pill so we are trying to prevent it but oops do happen! My Mom always tells me that we'll have a baby when its God's will for us to have one, and she's right. So if its His will that I have one before 4-5 years, then so be it. I'm not going to worry about it.
I definitely do not have the baby bug. I like kids best when they're one or two pews up in church and half-asleep.
We want to have kids someday, but not for a couple of years. I doubt that I'll ever have the baby bug or feel ready or impatient, actually. I just think that I would feel like I was missing out on a big part of life if we didn't do the "family" thing. I figure I'll like my own kids once I have them (my mom was much the same way... she was never that into babies or kids, but said she was very fond of us once we came along).
I, too, would much rather get the kid when he/she is 4 or so.
I'm all about t-ball and learning to ride bikes, but 3 a.m. feedings don't have nearly as much appeal for me!
I'm going to my little cousin's baby shower on Sunday, and my older cousin had her first baby right before my wedding. That leaves me as the only married cousin without babies, so I'm sure there will be some insinuations. We haven't had anybody hint around about kids since the wedding day, though, for which we are thankful!
No baby bug here either. Neither of us has kids, nor do we intend to ever have them. Don't get me wrong, we aren't baby haters or anything. We love other people's children, but have absolutely no desire to have our own. This hasn't stopped MIL or GrandMIL from asking every week, though, especially since we're in our 30s. I think they forget that my sister is an OB-GYN and I have excellent, practically foolproof, birth control as a result.
I definitely don't! We are waiting 3 or so years for that. I am a Peds nurse, but sometimes when we are overstaffed I have to work in the NICU... the sound of all those crying babies stresses me out big time!
Just like you, I like having time to enjoy being married, cook, go out with friends, etc. We are getting a puppy soon and that's good enough for me at this point.
That's crazy-cakes!!! Who says sh!t like that! HAHAHA! I mean I'm all about the babies but really? Someone needs to slap that person! HA!
MIL phoned the day after the wedding and announced that "I guess the next big announcement will be that you are pregnant!"
Thanks, but not anytime soon....
I'm SO glad to read in this thread that some of you ladies aren't into having kids, period--this is where I am, and it's very easy to feel like the weirdo anywhere you go. I work to commune with other childfree people wherever I can find them; it's definitely nice to have people to vent your frustrations with.
My boyfriend and I are currently yet to be engaged, even, so most of the pestering we're getting from friends and family is of the "when's the wedding?" variety. We do plan to get married, but we're 99.999% sure we are NOT having kids. We've talked about the slight possibility we'll change our minds, and he has said the decision is essentially mine... he wants me over all else. Which is really lovely when my last relationship ended over a "baybeez or GTFO" ultimatum. Obvs, I chose to GTFO.
But I've never had the baby bug. I know, like, two kids I actually like, but for the most part, they get on my nerves like nobody's business. I have no patience for their lack of manners, rudeness, brashness, and all of the gook that oozes out of them. I'm content to babysit the kids I dig and put on the blinders for the rest of them. And travel and cook and play video games and go out dancing and drinking and all the like for the rest of forever.
It's lovely to have someone who wants that, too!
Luckily, the BF has three brothers, one of whom just got hitched himself, and he and his wife do plan on having kids someday... so his parents will have their grandchild thirst sated without us having to step up. Yay!
I think I'm allergic to the baby bug. Almost all of my married friends and family are popping out kids like they are going out of style. Of course the inevitable "are you next?" comment follows. Occasionally I get the "aww it's so cute" moment when they are being particularly quiet and well behaved, but it's gone shortly after, usually after something dribbles, oozes or screams out of it. My DH and I have talked about kids, and they are on the "someday" list, along with building a house, touring europe, winning the lottery, and getting my doctorate.
I think the hardest part is that I'm the only married girl in both families who is not interested in having kids, so everyone seems to look upon us as some sort of freaks. I will hold a baby, play with the older ones, and love to answer the random questions, but absolutly don't want to take one home.
I guess I am just very aware that having a baby changes EVERYTHING, and am not ready for any more changes just yet....isn't three in one year more than enough for a while? (married, moved, and new furkid)
So glad that there are so many other people that feel this way! I have a number of good friends that all got married about the same time that I did, and have all already had kids. I could not be more happy for them, but it is definitely not what me and DH want at this time.
We are both in graduate school, just bought a very un-child-friendly house in the city, enjoying our careers and traveling whenever we want to. We have plenty of time in the future to have kids, so want to enjoy our time together now!
Definitely do feel a little bit of pressure though from both friends and family, and it seems like many of them can't understand why we wouldn't want to start our family now. Just like getting married, that is something we will do when we are ready!