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Boooo hisssss
Ok ladies, I'm going to say this. I feel like I can say it here because I really like all of you ladies, and I feel like we've got a good thing going here.
I really, really, really do not like a few of the regular posters here on the nest. Don't worry, it's nobody who posts here at May 2010. I'm also not going to name names, because I feel like I will get flamed right off this site. But there are certain boards that I just don't go to because I am driven so crazy by people who post here and think they rule the boards, and can tear anyone to bits. And I'm sorry, but some of the advice that I see being doled out is SO AWFUL. Like, you'd have to be out in left field to think that some of this advice is useable. I find it especially painful when I see someone giving out this really really bad advice, and then two posts down they're talking about the problems they're having in their own relationships.
And this is not a revenge post, haha - I haven't been flamed by anyone, nor have I posted a problem anywhere that I got shot down about. I'm just a bit vicious because I'm seeing "newbies" who only have a handful of posts under their belts basically getting kicked off the nest by people who are so mean and aggressive.
I joined the Nest because I was interested in the articles, recipes, and tools. But I come back every day because I found this little niche with a bunch of great girls who I seem to have a lot in common with, and who I've learned a lot from already (shoutout to funnel cakes!). I hate to think that someone who is genuinely distressed about a problem that they're having comes on to the boards, posts about it, and then gets bullied to the point that they never come back.
Roar. ROAR.
Re: Boooo hisssss
I lurk on the GP board, but I'm almost afraid to introduce myself, b/c I had one post on there that I didn't get great responses on. I've come close to introducing myself, but I think I'll wait till we're closer to TTC.
I posted a few times on the snarky brides board on TK...never again.
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
I talk a little on the GP board-- I feel like I've read enough now to know what I can't say!
and I've posted once or twice on Relationships or Married Life, but nothing major, just comments.
Yeah, about 99% of my posting is done right here... because I know, like, and respect you ladies and I don't have to "know what I can't say" because we can say anything!
and our first bit of advice isn't counseling or divorce! haha
Same here
Yep, me too. If I'm bored, I'll lurk on the more "drama-tastic" boards just for kicks and to see what kind of trainwrecks are going on, but in general, they annoy me. They think they're hot sh*t and most of them deserve a swift kick in the vag. I can guarantee that they aren't like that in real life or they would've gotten their asses beat quite often. Apparently, some of them feel that they can act "cool" on the boards because it's NOT real life. I've never been flamed by anyone on other boards that I've posted on, but I'd just rather not associate with those who think they're better than everyone else.
In my experience, the people who are the most hateful and "superior" online are usually people who have really pathetic real lives. It's still hard to let hurtful words not hurt, though, even if they come from loser strangers on the internet.
I'm careful where I go on TN. I lurk for a while before I ever post anything. Some of the advice really is awful; I saw something the other day that a girl had posted about her husband not being sure that the expense of the dog was worth it, and the consensus was that she should divorce her husband! Actually, most of the time when somebody posts a problem, the advice seems to be to divorce your husband...
I'm not going to even think about reactivating my Facebook until it's been inactive for six months, and then I'll have to consider it long and hard and do some serious friend-list weeding if I do resurrect my profile. I have enough aggravation to deal with in real life; I don't need it from strangers and semi-strangers online who pretend to be hot stuff.
This has been the most welcoming and inviting board I have found. You post a problem and you get helpful advice. If you need a reality check, you might get it, but nothing rude like on the other boards sometimes.
I go on Health and Fitness most often other than this board and they are 99% fine with helpful advice and encouragement. Sometimes Money Management because I am actually interested in that, although they seem to post about alot of different things there. And I have posted on Fashion and Beauty, but don't really go on there much.
I haven't really gone on the "relationship" type boards because I know they are bound to have alot of drama.
I have found that the b!tchiness comes out in the relationships boards. I avoid TIP like the plague, because the only reason people even post on there is to stir up more drama. I'm a drama queen, but only in real life, not in the interweb, haha! However, I WOULD like to be able to post on ML or FM, because I don't think that those boards should be about the sh!ttier issues...they should be about genuine aspects of being married, and about family. I would love to post on FM about how much I love and respect my family, AND HH's family, but it seems like ALL the advice on there is that only the husband should deal with the husband's family. Guess what, on our wedding day, his family became my family. I truly think that letting my HH be the sole contact with his family will just cause distance, and eventual problems. I talk to his brothers and sister more than he does, and I think that's a good thing! He thinks it's funny, because I'll be like "oh honey, your parents aren't going to BIL's place this summer...maybe they can come here?" and he's all "how do you even know this?" Umm...because I talk to our family! And let me tell you, if I DO have an issue with his family, you can bet that I'm going to be the one to deal with it...why should I throw him into the lion's den to deal with my problems? But that is always the advice that I hear!
Also, I don't believe in divorce in general. I wouldn't have gotten married if I thought that I could just get out of it in a few years. We were happily living in sin, and would have continued with that if we thought that in a few years we might have problems that we wouldn't want to deal with, and could just have a quick exit. If you are having issues with your spouse, you work through them. The ONLY time I think divorce is acceptable is if there is a history of abuse in the relationship. Not because you're suddenly bored with your spouse, or because he does things that annoy you, or because he's a mama's boy. Get over yourself, you're not perfect either, and that is not a reason for divorce. So if people throw that out as their "advice", I'm going to laugh in their face - they obviously weren't mature enough to make a good decision regarding getting married in the first place. Marriage isn't something to take lightly, and it's not something you do to have a pretty princess wedding day, or for gifts, or for a honeymoon. It is a lifelong partnership, and I really wish more people saw it that way.
This is SUCH a point of contention with me, sorry for the overly long and rambly posts!
This makes me so sad! I know in a lot of areas weddings seem to be all about the material stuff: the diamonds, the dress, the gifts, etc. etc. Sometimes people can forget that weddings are really all about love and commitment. Yea for all you May ladies who have the right idea!! Does anyone else still think about their vows? DH and I wrote our own, and I keep going over them in my head and thinking about what a big (and amazing) thing it is to be married!
I agree with everything said here. Out there in the other world of posting on the nest there are a lot of board people that don't know what to do with themselves and so they take out all of their frustrations on people here that just want some advice or help with a situation. Its sad for them. You are so not alone!
Agreed!! TB is bad too, good luck on the TTC board, I got flamed there. All they want to do is talk about their own stuff but heaven forbid you ask something and aren't in their clique. They don't even want to hear if you are pregnant on that board - because I guess it rubs it in their face that they can't get that far because they're nasty cows.
And I agree with Kelly in that the people who are nasty are the people who can't stick up for themselves in person.
Let's start a post on a board we know will get flamed then gang up and attack the attackers. Hehe
This is both funny, brilliant and crazy! I love it! Hahaha. I spend too much time on the internet. H says i am addicted