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Big time help needed with DH
We have been married for 4 years next month and the past year has been super rough. He has developped major anxiety issues and blows up over nothing sometimes, so I've spent a lot of the past couple years walking on eggshells to not upset him. I've recently started to stand up for myself more and he's really resisting a lot of it, but I know that he wont' want to change after I've given in to everything he wants for so long, it'll take a lot of time and patience.
On at least 4 occasions he has said that "he is done" with being married and either walked out, left the keys, called and told me this WHILE AT WORK and it's just a little ridiculous. He frequently tells me he "doesn't want to put up with my crap" or that I can "cut it out right now" if I'm giving him what he perceives as attitude ie. not exactly what he wants when he wants it. Now I was raised in a home with parents in a great marriage and I definitely don't beleive in divorce, I believe in working things out. I know marriages go through ups and downs and different phases that can go from days to years at a time, it's just how it is when you live your entire life with one person.
I know we aren't supposed to live in the past and how our relationships were, but he used to be so romantic and affectionate (candle lit dinners by the lake in the middle of a park, guitarist on my doorstep on valentines, you name it, he was GOOD) now I don't even get a damn anniversary or birthday card, even after asking for one...nothing...and it really hurts. I try so hard to give him things that I think would be nice for him, buy him cards, bring him little presents in hopes that he'll remember that you're supposed to do things like that but it's done nothing.
Stresses of his job, his brother living with us for a year (moving out in a couple weeks) really tight money situation, and his inability to handle stress in general are big contributors. I'm just at a loss of what to do, it feels so hopeless right now and I'm tired of hurting. Telling him to just straighten up and not be an *** isn't really an option because of his anxiety, he's so sensitive about anything I say it would just make my life worse, he would get upset, have a blow up and we'd be back at square one, so I need to move slow but that's not working much either.
*I know I'm talking really randomly and there's a TON more to this situation, but this just covers your basics*
HELP! 
Re: Big time help needed with DH
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I vote counseling, too. He can't keep treating you like this, it isn't fair. It's not fair to ask you to walk on eggshells for years on end because he can handle criticism. He doesn't get to get his way all the time... that's not how life works.
A counselor will be able to hear both of your sides and help you learn to communicate in a way that's effective and non-threatening. Also, if his anxiety is that bad, he might want to look into getting on meds.
If he won't see a counselor, maybe you should go alone. You may learn better ways of approaching him with any given problem.
ditto pp with counseling.
Also, is he taking anything for his anxiety.
My H has really bad anxiety to, don't use that as an excuse to let him treat you badly though. If it's bad he should be getting help, not taking it out on you.
He is on meds but I've told him he has to go back to get them revised because he was prescribed them when he very first discovered the anxiety and by a different doctor. He tried to ween himself off cause it was going good and that wasn't pretty.
I have seen a counsellor on a couple occassions and it has helped, but getting him to go could be another story. Please do know that I've turned a corner in my knowing that he can't treat me like that and that's what's causing so much stress right now is that I'm finally speaking my mind and he's resisting pretty hard.
The first step: he needs a complete medical and psychological re-evaluation.
He may have a thyroid problem or testosterone imbalance; it may also be a circulatory problem.
His meds may also be interacting; that's why I'm saying he needs a medical reevaluation.