Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
My Okla-versary is today! (a story, unpopular opinion, and goal)
We've been Okies for a year now, and, thankfully, it's just kept getting better. My first full day in Oklahoma was not a good one.
I got a tenure track offer what seemed like a nice town with great colleagues and the exact kind of school I wanted to be at (50% teaching, plenty of research funding, and lots of first generation college students,) so I jumped on it. When I brought DH here for the first time to apartment hunt, we had a sucky experience at the first apartment we looked at. They told us that, "Per the Fair Housing Standards Act" we had to be married to live there together. We were (and had been for 5 years,) but 
the FHSA (which was hanging on the wall!) actually says they CAN'T discriminate based on familial status. I was already tired after explaining their mistake (I'm a sociology professor, so I can't pass up injustice like that.)
As we high-tailed it out of there, we got stuck behind a lady who had a LED lit red scrolling license plate frame. It said (complete with spelling and grammar and capitalization here): "Jesaus is our LORD. Have U made your Choose? NO = Hell!" I just burst into tears and said, "What in the hell did I get us into?"
Not only was "Jesus" spelled wrong, the grammar was horrible. I could have easily dealt with either one alone, but the combination of extreme religiosity and a lack of education was too much to handle at that point. I was worried it was foreshadowing. Thankfully it wasn't.
Since then, things have gotten much better 
We have nice jobs, nice friends, and a nice place to come home to.
The unpopular opinion part, perhaps, is that, as an outsider, I don't think I'll ever understand the enigma that is Oklahoma. I love the people SO MUCH but I hate the politics with a passion. The disconnect between such nice people and such social conservativism makes no sense to me. I had a student the other day, for example, who is a total sweetheart and would likely give me her last meal, complain that OK is "too gay friendly." What???
Still, I have been told by my Okie colleagues that I have yet to see "the real Oklahoma" because I have only been to Edmond, Norman, OKC, and Tulsa. Apparently I need to get outside of my little bubble. Anyone up for a road trip? 
Here's to year two! 
Re: My Okla-versary is today! (a story, unpopular opinion, and goal)
I feel ya. I can't believe some of the things I've heard come out of people's mouths, and indeed out of some people who have been very kind to me. (Would they be so kind, however, if I were gay or mexican or black? Ooh, probably not.) It makes me sad when people I like show such ignorance like that...it's hard to know how to feel about them after that.
The way I look at it is to try to set an example of tolerance to everyone around me....maybe they'll learn something.
Cheers to a great second year and beyond!!
You need to hang out with me more--you'll never hear anything about "Jesaus" in my crowd
And you would probably enjoy the political debates my husband starts. I know I do lol.
I'm glad that you find the people friendly--they will so easily offer the shirt off their back in a tragedy but so many are so close-minded.
I have lived in OK my entire life. I can't really imagine living anywhere else. There just aren't many other places where you can use the word "tornado" as a verb, you know?
This. The conversation I brought up in class the other day was, "Do you all think I would have had such a warm reception had I not been a straight, middle class, white woman?" I think my students learned more from that conversation that everything else I've taught in summer school.
Is it bad that I read that word in my head as, "Jeeeaaases" as if an old white Colonial-Sanders-looking preacherman from the deep south was saying it?
I enjoyed your trip down memory lane...thanks for posting! What a crazy first experience of OK.
I would agree, Oklahoma can be an enigma. But you've seen my posts, so you probably know I tend to agree with you on political matters.
The people here can't be beat--love them.
I'm not sure what people mean when they say you haven't seen the real Oklahoma. I've only really been to the same places as you in the last 6 years of living here. Where are we going on that road trip?
I would have loved to hear that conversation.
I know college opened my eyes to so many ideas. I actually thought everyone had the same opportunities as me, and the homeless were people that squandered those opportunities.
Thankfully, I've since stretched and grown, and realized the ideas behind class and privilege. I bet you are an excellent educator!
Apparently Idabelle is high on the list. I'm only half kidding. I'll drive if you'll buy the first round of beer at the dive bar when we get there
Idabel isn't bad--that whole area down there is a must-see because of the amazing landscape. We took our first anniversary trip down there and canoed on the river and stayed in a quaint little B&B that made nightly snacks for its 4 patrons.
Geographically, there's a lot to see in this state, and maybe that's what they meant by the "real" Oklahoma? The major cities don't really even give you a glimpse of the beauty and diversity available.
I think a road trip through Oklahoma would be great.
That's the only thing that makes sense to me, because honestly, in my experience, the bewildering and cringe-worthy things about Oklahoma actually only get worse when you leave the OKC metro area (the Tulsa area excluded).
I too have lived here my whole life and struggled with the dual nature of our state. When I was a teenager I couldn't wait to get out, but we have decided to stay here partially to be close to our families, partially because the people in Oklahoma are so kind and giving, and partially because I feel like by staying I can help make the state that I love more what I would hope it to be by hopefully doing some work in political campaigns, organizing the secular parenting group I've got going, and hopefully working with some GLBT groups as well.
I'm glad you have found a niche here and that I feel I can count you among my circle of crazy liberal friends.
I've also lived here most of my life, with the exception of 4 years as a child and one year after college. I also wanted out when I was younger, but have grown to truly love it here. Since I move back 5 years ago, I've found an amazing group of people who for the most part share in my beliefs and definitely respect them and don't judge. Like, Critti, I kind of feel charged with helping change OKC and make it a more accepting and compassionate place. There are definitely areas of town where I can see this change.
As for road trips, just simply taking Route 66 instead of the turnpike, or taking the back roads to Dallas have some beautiful scenery. Two parts of the state I haven't been to are the panhandle and southeastern. I'm trying to get weekend trips to both figured out in the fall.
This. Exactly this.
Plus, have you seen how much real estate costs in other states? Yeesh!
I am glad you have enjoyed living in Oklahoma. I agree - there are people here that are extremely closed minded and that is a soapbox I definitely do not want to get on. I am glad you have been able to look past that. I think that says a lot about your character. Congrats on your Okla-versary!
Actually, they were talking about the less posiive things about the state when they said I haven't seen the "real" Oklahoma (remember that I work with a bunch of liberal hippy granola types like myself
)
I have heard cool things about the geography, though! There are so many different "zones" in this one state!
And, yes, Critti, I have The Nest to thank for helping me make some great new friends like you!
Oh, well, damn. I totally misunderstood that. Damn my optimism.
I'm also an Oklahoma transplant. I wince whenever I hear what the state's senior senator has to say about immigration and LGBT issues. I consider myself a moderate- I agree with some Republican issues and some Democrat issues- but in this state I'd probably be considered extremely liberal. Someone at work last week told me (accused me?), "I bet you voted for Obama." I did, but it wasn't any of his business.
Here's to a better 2nd year as an Oklahoman!
I misunderstood in the same way.
Okay, good, that's what I thought you meant and I was confused.
I am also confused by the statement that Tulsa is more open minded than OKC?!? (I think the exact statement was something about Tulsa being excluded from the lack of open mindedness). I strongly disagree. Ignorance runs rampant all across the state.
Totally understandable. A random sampling of Okie adults probably would have meant that. A random sampling of sociologists...not so much
I didn't mean that Tulsa was more open minded than OKC. Just not as closed minded as other parts of the state are wont to be, particularly very rural areas.
I love this post. I am a straight, middle class, black woman that spouts my liberal views at every person that dares question them... I also received a warm reception. In saying that I am from Mississippi and it is a lot more extreme in its views on EVERYthing not within your description.
I think given my time in Oklahoma (mainly Edmond, Moore, Norman and OKC) the transition from Italy has been relatively smooth. I am used to stares (Italians have zero shame in this) and being a bit "out of sync" with the majority. I have met nice people but have noticed the extreme views on a certain president.