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Opinions Ladies on TTC/jobs (long)
Hi Ladies -
Here's my dilemma:
Background Info:
my mother, my maternal grandmother, and both of my mother's sisters have all had breast cancer. (my mom was diagnosed at age 46)... My OBGYN has told me I should really start having kids before I am 30, because of the increase in contracting breast cancer (sadly, I am almost resigned that it will happen - but I am completely diligent about self-testing). I am now 28.
Current Info:
I am currently in grad school to be a secondary social studies teacher - I have my NYS Trans B certification, but I havent found a job for the fall yet (although I do have an interview next Thursday for a school in SYR that is hiring 4 social studies teachers for the fall )...
However, my current job (working for a microbrewery), is grooming me for a promotion that would put me in charge of the chain store activity for my beer brand for the whole Eastern Region of the US! This promotion would probably go into effect in January.
My current job knows I am going back to school - but they dont know that its for teaching. If I take the promotion at work, I will prob have to quit my grad school program.
Now - the TTC question... If I get a teaching job, I want to TTC in late September, early October, so that I would have the baby at the end of June, early July, so that I would not have to miss school for maternity leave (with teaching jobs being cut left and right, and me without tenure - I dont want to do a maternity leave during the school year)....But I have to have a one-on-one with my boss to talk about whether this new job will let me have a family in my life - Im afraid the travel might be pretty intense.BUT the pay would probably be somewhere in the mid $70's I think.... which also begs the question if I even want to go into teaching - Ill never make that much money teaching....
But for me teaching isnt about the money... its the career I really want to do. I like working with kids... and Im a good coach...
So, I am now nearing the end of my monthly courses (bringing back the 1800's lingo here), and Im debating whether to go off BC in prep for TTC.... What do you ladies think:
1. Should I wait to go off BC and NOT TTC this year, because of the new job opportunity with the brewery?
2. Should I go off BC and still plan on TTC in September/October regardless of job plans?
3. Should I forget about teaching and go where the money is with the brewery?
4. Should I follow my heart and keep looking for teaching jobs because that is what I truly want to do?
This is alot, I know, but I value all of you input!
Re: Opinions Ladies on TTC/jobs (long)
Here's what I am thinking. Both DH and myself are certified social studies teachers, he is working in the field and I decided to change careers. I am certified and could fall back on it if need be, but SS jobs are incredibly difficult to obtain. It is a super common major.
I guess my thoughts on TTC are that it is incredibly difficult to plan. Are you 100% sure you would be able to conceive? The odds are that it might take a few months for you to get pregnant, and possibly longer for your body to start regulating itself post BCP.
I think you should def pursue your dream job, if that is what you would like to do, but try to keep in mind that TTC is not a science and just because you would like a June baby doesn't mean that will happen, get me?
At the end of the day, you need to be able to sleep at night with whatever choice you make. It sounds like you are going to decide your TTC plans based on whether you get this teaching job, and then I think you've answered your own question!
Good luck in whatever you decide to do!
DH and I always complain about how little money we make teaching, but that the emotional rewards and vacation time make it so worth it. I would say that if you can live on a teacher's salary, do it!
In terms of TTC, I can't really say. It would be nice if you could time it to coincide with summer vacation, but life doesn't always follow our plans. Good luck with your decision.
Ugh. I just re-read my post and hope I don't sound snarky. I apologize if it sounds bad.
I say this because like I said, my DH is a SS teacher and coach and while we would love to plan a June baby, that might not be in the cards. I was on BCP for ten years, went off last June (2009) to regulate some sort of cycle and it is not going so well. Some cycles are 22 days some are 30+ days and it has certainly thrown a wrench into our TTC a summer baby 2011 plans! Ugh.
I really wish you the best in whatever you decide is best for you!
No - not snarky at all -
I completely understand how tough it is to get a SS job - Ive applied to dozens, and this is my first real interview (I had a Skype interview back in May, but I pretty much knew I wasnt getting that job). On the plus side, my prof told me she talked to the asst. sup. for personnel in the district, and they are already aware of my name from the SS curriculum head, and I am on their radar.
If I get the teaching job and if we do start TTC in September/October... if I dont get pregnant, then we will stop and wait for the next year.... it will have to go on like that until I get tenure...
If I dont get the teaching job, and take the promotion, then TTC isnt constrained to any particular time frame.
But the husband and I can completely afford living on his salary and a teacher's salary... if I take the promotion, Ill become the higher income earner, and it will be a big income increase...
I'm a follow your heart kind of girl so that is what I lean to tell people to do. Life is short and you're right, it's not all about money. It's about happiness and being fulfilled in your life.
Would you be able to fine happiness if you stayed and worked your new promotion? Is it something you are willing to try to see if it will work for you?
I do second the opinion of going off BCP and getting to know your body again. I'm not sure I would suggest going back on if you don't get pregnant for two cycles and then going back off in a few months to regulate your body before trying two times again. You could be one of the lucky few who get pregnant on a first couple of tries but that is rare. I'm knee deep in learning my body and the right times to conceive and it's a lot of knowledge that I thought knew but didn't. It will take many months for us to make it happen...sadly.
That all being said...besides the doctor telling you to have kids sooner rather than later....is that what you and DH want? Are you guys both ready for that next step? I know sometimes when you hear news it's easier to react vs doing it because you really want to and it's the right time.
Whoa! Thats a lot of questions all in one there..
I am sure this is giant minority opinion.. and maybe not the right one for you.. but if it were ME.. I would talk to your boss about whether the promotion would be family friendly...let them know that you definitely want kids at some point.. and go from there.. If it seems like it would be plausible.. then maybe start TTC toward the end of the year, or shortly after you get the promotion.
The whole ttc in X month to have a baby in Y month.. its a HUGE gamble.. if thats the only way you're going to be able to work having kids around having a teaching job...I wouldn't do it.. Its not as easy as it seems, especially if you're just coming off BCP..
So.. I'm not saying give up on looking for teaching jobs.. if something perfect comes up.. and thats what you want to do.. then by all means.. go for it.. but its a lot of ifs there.. ya know?
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz