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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Poll: Division of Labor in your house
This weekend DH did the dishes for the first time in, oh I don't know, 2 years? Lol. That got me thinking.
Who does more housework in your house? Do you each have specific chores or a schedule of when things get done?
Does one person work more and therefore do less housework (or more housework?) We all have this idea that as partners in a relationship work should be split 50/50, but does it work like that for anyone?
Re: Poll: Division of Labor in your house
Funny you should ask, I was thinking about this yesterday.
DH... does the dishes (loads, unloads DW) - because he is anal and I do it wrong (no complaints from me), he does his own laundry and sometimes the house laundry, he feeds and walks the dogs the majority of the time since he is up before me and home before me. He also does a lot of the outside work.
I... do most of the cooking, and all of the cleaning aside from the dishes. I do my own laundry and I do a lot of outside work as well.
What got me thinking about it is... DH doesn't paint. I spent all day yesterday painting the trim in our MB. And it annoys me that he is sitting on the couch watching tv while i'm busting arse to paint...
Love him to death, but he is LAZY, and I know that won't change.
I do laundry b/c he's bad at it. He cooks once or twice a week and does the dishes most of the time. He'll vacuum and fold clothes, but I usually have to ask him b/c it just doesn't cross his mind. He takes care of the litter boxes and does most of the lawn mowing although I do the gardening and weeding.
So I'm okay w/ how much he does b/c I know he does try. But, it took a lot of fighting and "discussions" to get to where we are now
DH does more - although we often do the more substantial cleaning together on the weekends. I work slightly more hours and commute more than 3 hours a day, so it's only fair he picks up more of the work.
I do need to take over laundry though - I don't need anymore white shirts with pink splotches on them!!
Sean does the litter cleaning (although lately I started doing it one time a week since he does not do it enough), laundry (although lately I started doing it because he has been busy), 1/2 the cooking, and dishes daily.
I do all the outside house stuff, all the cleaning, all the watering of plants and caring for our dog.
He has been making a big effort to pick up after himself since he works from home full time and nothing irritates me more than having cleaned on my days off and coming home to him having made a mess to my once clean house. He has gotten very good at keeping me from getting irrirated.
Erik works midnights - 4 days/week on a rotating schedule. I work days - during the week. Since he is home during the day on his days off, he will:
do the laundry, clean the house, take care of outside, go grocery shopping, clean the bird cage, and there is always dinner on the table when I get home from work. The kids do their own laundry and have a chore that gets done either daily or twice weekly (depending on the chore).
I bake. haha... that's not all I do - but we don't have set chores. Whoever is not 'busy" will do whatever needs to be done. It works very well for the both of us. Erik will very often bake cupcakes for me if I have lots of orders.
I do 85% of the cooking, and I also do the dishes (load, unload DW). I do not hand wash dishes. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a total brat, but I hate washing dishes by hand. The only thing(s) that get washed by hand are our good knives because putting those in the dw is really bad for them. Even at that DH hand washes those most of the time. The only other thing I may hand wash is when I use a cutting board to chop up veggies or fruits, I'll give that a quick hand washing.
I also do all the laundry, mine & his. I don't know how common it is for couples to do their laundry together because with my parents, my mom washes most of her clothes, but with the exception of socks/underwear almost all of my dads clothes are dry cleaned. So when Ted & I moved in together and both of our laundry was piling up, I was like "Oh, I guess I'm suppose to do this?" lol. I really don't mind because I told Ted I would wash & dry his clothes, I will not put them away. I also do house laundry.
As far as the house cleaning, I do the dusting & any mopping/vacuuming of the kitchen. Ted is usually the one to vacuum the rest of the house, and sometimes he'll clean a bathroom but usually I have to clean the bathrooms also. Ted picks up after the dogs, he feeds them in the morning & makes sure they have water. I feed them at night. Since I do so much of the housework I push a lot of the dog stuff on Ted.
After reading that I would say I do the bulk of the housework.
eta: I forgot to add that Ted takes out the trash. After a couple days of repeatedly telling him the trash needed to be taken out and being really disappointed that he wasn't doing it when I asked, I finally just told him "Look, there are two things that, as my husband, I expect you to do for me when I ask you to do them: take out the trash, and kill bugs. Everything else is negotiable." That actually seemed to do the trick.
We are probably in a slightly different situation than most. Since Aaron has OCD he ends up doing a lot more house work than necessary. He can't let things just 'sit'. His OCD isn't so bad that he's constantly cleaning, but it does cause him to do more around the house.
I do the dishes when they pile up, but if I'm cooking dinner DH typically will take care of the dishes that I can't 'clelan up as I go'. We each do our own laundry and vaccuum when necessary (basically whoever pulls it out first).
We work about the same outside of the house and we work the same schedule so for the most part, we are home at the same time. I do more on a regular basis, but it doesn't bother me. I cook all of the meals and we both do kitchen clean-up. The difference is that I do the bare minimum and he does a thorough job cleaning. I'll throw the dishes in the dishwasher and let pots and pans "soak" in the sink, where Brian will not leave the kitchen until everything has been done, including the counters, stove, etc. wiped down. I also make his coffee in the morning and make and pack our breakfasts, lunches, etc. for the day. I do the laundry, but he irons his shirts for work. I straighten up the house regularly, but he does more of the deeper cleaning (mopping the floors, etc.) when it needs to be done. We used to do the grocery shopping every other week (Bri would go one week, I went the next) but since I've been "big" the past couple of months, we go together and just split the list in the store in order to be efficient. I do the menu planning and lists.
ETA: DH takes out the trash for the most part because I say that's a man's job!
Who knows what our lives will be like in the coming weeks. I'm quite interested to see what happens once we have Baby in the midst. I have a feeling that I'll be doing more since I'll be home for the next few months, but I really don't know for sure that just because I'm home, I'll have the time for all of the household chores in addition to taking care of a newborn.
Cleaning and Initiative...two words I don't think DH knows the definition of...however he is very familiar with Procrastination.
I survived the RoLex wedding and all I got was this lousy husband.
One&Only Palmilla - Los Cabos, Mexico
Pretty much this!!
(Although I do have my Cake Business that brings in my fun/play money!)
I don't do everything becasue I have to, but because I thoroughly enjoy doing it. Bri will Grill, and if I ever need any help around the house, he's more than willing to pitch in in a heartbeat.
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I think we've got it pretty even out. He does the cleaning/labor outside (cutting the grass, shoveling the snow, etc) and I do most of the inside (vacuuming, dusting). We both are happy with this. I've never turned on a lawnmower and don't ever intend to.
Then he does the cooking and I do the cleaning up on that. He's not in town enough to get the house really dirty. It's me and the dog that leave our hair and dust everywhere, lol
We split the chores up. I always feel like it's pretty close to 50/50 but DH often feels like he does more than me. I always disagree....in his head, if he doesn't actually see me doing it then it's not getting done. Which is crap. He never notices things like the microwave is always clean and there isn't mildew growing behind the kitchen sink.
It's been a little bit of a sticking point for us lately, but I think we've come to a good place with it.
{Blog: Adventures of AlaskanAlison}
This. It's kind of funny, DH has actually gotten better about doing things on his "honey-do" list as soon as we were officially married. It was like pulling teeth to get him to do anything before our wedding even when we were living together...something miraculously changed
I work more hours, have a longer commute, and make more money. I would say I do about 75% of the housework which I'm pretty much fine with. We each do our own laundry and when we are home in the evenings together we usually make dinner together. I always do the dishes when we eat together, I actually, call me crazy, find it therapeutic.
It helps that our apartment isn't very big so there is never any huge daunting chores to be done. I am a clean person and so is DH for the most part. He likes to make piles. I am always straightening something.
Like I said earlier, if he has a random day off during the week or only has to work a few hours I'll make him a chore list to do that day: vaccum, clean the bathroom, etc. and he'll do it. Not too many complaints from over here!
Um, the division of labor in our house sucks.
DH- Mow the lawn and take out the garbage on garbage day.
Me-Everything else.
It has ended up this way because DH is a disaster. Even with the two jobs he has, he mows the lawn once every 2 weeks or so and remembers to put the garbage out (even if I remind him) every 2 or 3 weeks. I'm not perfect, but it's difficult to keep up the house on my own and work full time.
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Formerly Knottie Soon2beMrs.G_09
You just described my husband and I, lol!
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Formerly Knottie Soon2beMrs.G_09
Since I don't work I do most of the the cleaning (dishes, laundry, dusting, etc) DH does the yard work and the cooking. However, if there's something I don't want to do I always bribe DH with sexy time
Works every time!
In general we do about 50/50. However there are times when he'll be really sweet and do most of the work if I've had a bad day or am just too damn tired. Then another time I may also take more of the work. But it tends to be split down the middle.
Laundry is the only thing that's really set in stone re who does what. He hates hates hates folding and so he washes everything for me. I fold and put away.
I feel like I do more, but in reality, he does.
He does all the cooking, except maybe a meal or two by me a month if that. We both do dishes. I clean the 2 piece bathroom, and with me being pregnant, he will do the bathtub and shower now upstairs. I normally do the toilet and sink though. He always seems to vacuum and I do the mopping. I just get angry cause I have to be the one that has to get on his butt to get him doing stuff.
ETA: He does the grass cutting, and most of the time takes all the garbage and recycling out.
Since I am not working, I do most of it . He doesn't do anything because I don't want him to. He gets up at 3am to go to work, the last thing I want him to do is his laundry or the dishes after working 10-14 hours a day.
He does the outside stuff - the lawn, the weeding, the car washing etc. He also takes out the trash and does most of the cooking.